24 years old and never had a girlfriend

[DiscoSpider]

Interesting advice everyone, thank you... and welcome to those who joined this thread with their own problems. Ha ha. That's all good.

AfterDark: I'd agree with you... I think I spend too much time worrying about what other people think of me. I think that you're right, I need to learn to just... stop caring so much. :/

Okonkwo: Dancing? That sounds cool. I honestly wouldn't mind learning how to dance, it's an impressive skill of entertainment and I hear helps develop fitness and agility, as well as confidence of course. I don't have time, unfortunately... I train at the gym Monday to Friday while I train in martial arts (Judo) three times a week, while working full time. I want a little bit of time with friends or family. It's something to look into one day though!

 

[CAS]

To the original poster......


I'm the same age as you and in the same situation. All I have to say is, it's soul-destroying.

Feel free to P.M. me any time.

 

[DiscoSpider]

To the original poster......


I'm the same age as you and in the same situation. All I have to say is, it's soul-destroying.

Feel free to P.M. me any time.

Cheers for that man, no worries.

Yeah, I dunno... I do agree, it's a pretty bad situation. I wouldn't call it "soul destroying" but what I will say is, the longer it goes on for, the worst it gets... so I suppose for me personally, it could be "soul destroying" one day.

 

[Stranger]

DiscoSpider - when you talk to girls, pretend like it's all roleplay - it's not for real, so you have nothing to lose. You're in the role of this confident hot guy, and you must do what must be done and say what must be said to act convincingly. This trick used to really help me at work when I had to talk to clients on the phone - I'm also naturally very shy. Good luck!

 

[DiscoSpider]

DiscoSpider - when you talk to girls, pretend like it's all roleplay - it's not for real, so you have nothing to lose. You're in the role of this confident hot guy, and you must do what must be done and say what must be said to act convincingly. This trick used to really help me at work when I had to talk to clients on the phone - I'm also naturally very shy. Good luck!

That's actually... a very interesting piece of advice. Thanks Stranger (wow, that sounds weird ha ha ), I'll take that one on board! I could use that kind of philosophy too with work, since I too work with clients and can be a bit shy and unconfident.

 

[(y)DIXON!]

Hi. First time poster and er... new member I suppose.

I've been reading a lot of the threads on this forum and it's shown me that... the problem I have is a lot more common than I think. At felt like I was the only one but... wow how very wrong I am.

I'm twenty four years old and I've never had a girlfriend or an intimate relationship of any kind (not even a kiss, ha ha). Now, this is going to sound very dodgy but... I believe that saying "the longer you wait, the harder it gets" is absolutely true, does anyone else agree?

A lot of my friends have told me that I have/had "ugly duckling syndrome". When I was in high school, I was very overweight and unfit, did not have many friends and was bullied... a lot. A few years after high school though, I took up martial arts and self defense as a hobby and sport and ended up losing so much weight, getting very fit and completely changing how I look. It's a very surreal and kinda "wtf" feeling when people, even your own friends, start noticing you in a different light.

What's funny is back when I was younger (fat, unfit etc), if I told someone "I've never had a girlfriend" they would often respond "Yeah fair enough" or "I see", as if completely unsurprised. Nowadays if someone hears that I haven't had a girlfriend before, it's like blasphemy! They usually freak out.

I think my problem is... despite looking completely different, on the inside I am still the same fat, shy and insecure kid I was once. I have a lot of trouble talking to girls. Well... talking to girls (as a friend/individual) is easy, but talking to someone who I am attracted to and have feelings for, that's so hard! Especially when I try to express myself and tell them how I feel. I also often get "friend zoned"... the only girls who have expressed themselves toward me are usually girls I have zero attraction to (not just physical but personality as well) and they are usually extremely forward to the point of being creepy...

I guess bottom line... I see couples and happy people everywhere and I'm getting a bit tired of still being single.

I guess the first thing is... anyone have any advice on how to avoid being put in the friend zone? And secondly... what can I do to stop being so damn shy and start being more confident - to mentally become the person I have physically become?

Any help and advice would be appreciated.

Alright DiscoSpider. I'm 24 and I've had girlfriends. And I regret it. Women r annoying and they're controlling. Enjoy being single while you are m8

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Oh yea just so u know, you haven't got any problems at all. You've got nothing to worry about.

 

[theglasscell]

I wouldn't take advice on dating from any man that uses the term "friend zone" seriously. That is ridiculous. If you can't see any woman as a friend or can't take the time to make friends with a female then you are only going to handicap yourself with finding dates.

Friendship can lead to something more, this whole idea of a friend zone is ridiculous.

 

[LeaningIntoTheMuse]

I always find it hilarious when someone in their 20's says that they've never had a girlfriend. Wait till you're 30 and my age, and then start to worry.