28yrs old in June, still live with parents, no job, no friends, is it all to late??

[Haven]

This is for any one who feels similar your never to old to achieve

You stop having chances when you taking them

 

[tayla59]

Oh Michael stop wallowing in your own self pity use that same focus to get out there and find a job.I went to all the big stores in my town and knocked on the doors of the personnel managers,it took me 3 weeks but i found a job in the end, and so can you,once you do that you are on your way

 

[Wishtobemyself]

Hang in there Michael. I'm 25 had no gf, no best friend, never had a real job, and still live with parents. It's never too late and you're not alone, pal. There's always another sunrise, and along with that there's another day and another chances.There's gotta be a way for you to fullfill life.

 

[sneha]

hi michael, your story sounds so familiar with my life as well, its as if i was reading my own story, can we chat oh yahoo?

Im just another quarter life loser (28 yrs old) still living with my parents in fact I always live with them, never had a job, has no friends (stopped making friends since I was 13), no support network apart from ol google, never had a girlfriend and if you havent guess by now i am still a virgin and most likely will never get married. Lately I realise that my entire existence has been a downward spiral ever since I was born. Everything i tell you is the truth.

I always tell myself I love solitude. Try to believe its better without friends, ive been hiding for just over 14 years now. I found a pot when I was 14, it was then I realised I disliked myself. I stopped going to school, never finished high school and certainly never had a college education. All I did to this day was stay at home and smoking pot was my life.

Only till I was 27 I realise that something was wrong with me as my clothes got darker and so did my mind. The only thing good this year (2007) is that I stopped smoking pot. But the depression got worse. I could only hide in the dark for so long, the year is 2007 and i still wasnt really going out of the house. But i was kinda positive and started to look at myself more, Sadly i still didnt go out much and that state of mind lasted for 6 months. I have been dead for too long. Now im bored, no confidence, no social skills and certainly my self esteem is so low. Ive never had a job, I know I have to make a change right now, but where do I start. I cant hide anymore. Im sick of being weak and alone, but i know i am the only one that can help myself. I dont know where to start.

I wanted to change and do something you know be happy and be successful one day.

My question is everything to late for me to start all over again and change things around at the old age of 27, is there any chance i will ever get a good job, be successful, get married and have children?? Is it still possible even though i never graduated from high school??

Please reply guys i really really need some help before its all too late.

 

[Solaman]

Hi Michael, if you are still in the same situation and you need someone to talk to, I am here for you. You can find me on Facebook, my name is Solaman Siddique. Or you can email me at [email protected] and let me know how things are going for you now, or just to chat.

 

[sadface]

never too latee

 

[Haz]

As a 23 year old in a similar situation I was feeling a similar way.

Now that i've got myself into an apprenticeship and saving money my esteem has been boosted tenfold and I realise now that I was idiotic to think I could never make something of myself at such a late age when there were people I went to school with finishing up their uni degrees, buying houses and getting married. 28, well it could be 35. But, it isn't. It is not too late to try something

 

[Solitario]

Im just right you, i live with my parent, i never had a job, i never had friends, and i never ad a girlfriend. I hope you could change for better. In my case i had try so hard to change but i can. Bye.

 

[SullenGirl]

LOL @ "quarter-life loser". I'd never heard that one before.

I know this is a REALLY OLD revived thread, but to anyone else who needs encouragement, it's NEVER TOO LATE.

When you think about the fact that you've never had a job, don't have a degree, and have never had a relationship, just think of it this way; many people have done much more extraordinary things, and under far worse circumstances.

 

[mi life]

It is never too late.

 

[Sway]

My classmate is a girl who got caught up on drugs at one point in her life... she then decided to drop out of that life when she turned 25 and gone for a uni degree....

Went to adult school ... and got accepted into software engineering @ uwaterloo.... quiet an epic change.. so just keep on trying it's never too late.

It's when you stop believing in your own ability to move along then your screwed.

 

[bigleo]

try do find a job first.
Do not live with your parents anymore.
You must learn to live by yourself, and then you will feel alone.

 

[bens]

If you just stopped toking you'll probably be depressed from that for a bit anyway takes gs to adjust. Good on you as well it's not as easy as people say when you've been at it for years. I've tried and failed myself. Like someone else said you're only a quarter way through life. Best thing I think is to find a job - any job cos theyre all very challenging when you havnt worked or been social. Maybe look for somethin with little social interaction at first.
Even in a quiet job you'll still have to sy hello and speak to people occasionally and it's a good start towards a proper social life again. You've already started I think.

 

[PurpleDays]

28? Jeez. That's young.

You've got another 3/4 to go.

People lose their spouses at any age, or have problems at any time of life.

You've got so much potential. Go go go !

 

[sneha]

hi sean,
thank god i m not the only phobic here. when i read ur post i was pretty glad that u were the way u were. bcos im like that too. i mean i am outgoing on several occasions but when it comes to social gathering or meeting up with group of people or friends, i am totally nervous wreak. i dont know how to deal with it. oh god hahaha, are u sure we are not lost twins bcos it seems there are so many things similar,,haha,nice meeting u sean. gud day. just in case if u want to stay in touch , here is my id

[email protected]

Sorry I had a few typos in my last reply. Sorry about that. Keep it short and simple this time gosh im so stupid, what i really mean this time is does anybody ever suffer from embarressing and making a complete fool of themselves in basically any social situations. I really wish I can do something to fix my social intelligence, I just dont know how to connect with someone when it comes to social gatherings. Im already 25 yrs old, (sigh) when will I ever learn

 

[carina6192]

i was just wondering.... what kind of environment do you live in? is your house generally clean or messy? this can make a difference in how you feel

 

[user 8014]

Hi there, I'm from Yorkshire, England and this is my first post. I know this thread is old but I just wanted to say...Michael, if you are still out there and you are reading this I hope things are better for you now or at least getting better anyway.

I'm 27 and feeling a bit like you were back then, I've never done any drugs though, (congrats on stopping by the way) but I got bullied and ignored by a lot of people when I was younger, particularly in secondary school, as a result my attention and concentration span dropped down to that of a goldfish swimming around in coffee and my G.C.S.E results suffered and I have been in and out of what seems like every minimum wage job going and feel unaccomplished and tired quite a lot. I also have never had a girlfriend or sex and I only have a few close friends who I met during my school life. One of my greatest achievement was passing my driving test at 19...which wasn't exactly yesterday but i just thought i'd let you know anyway.

I recently developed a bad habit of comparing my life to other peoples, which just makes the problem 10 times worse so I try my best to not do this (even though sometimes it can be hard).

I've also joined a site called SAS (Social Anxiety Support) and it's full of friendly and great people who are anxious, lost and confused in life and looking for answers just like you and a lot of other people on here. If anyone else reading this has a hard time in social situations you should give it a try and it's free to register too.

I'm not sure what else to put or even if this was helpful, but I hope you're doing okay now.

 

[InsertNameHere]

I may not be 28, but I can sympathize. :/ I still live with my parents since I can't seem to hold onto a job for very long and I just very recently got my first ever boyfriend. I also have very few friends.

 

[Hermit83]

Sorry if I havent replied lately its just that life is just you know kind off busy especially when you leave high school. I too havent had the perfect childhood, in fact I had to experience and do things for myself like alot of 19 year olds dont have to go through. And I understand all of you and I can relate to you in some way as well.

Trying to reply to your post, I purely understand that everyone goes through life with problems, theres no such thing as a perfect life, even powerful rich celebrities of the past have decided to end their life cause they have found the going gets tough, even when you think as a fan you see them as someone with such high status , powerful, legions of fans, and all the friends that they can have.

As for me I do understand that life is impossible to be perfect, I just wished that somethings just somethings went right. At the moment I am suffering financially (in terms of paying of rent, food, electricity,) I struggle to survive by myself cause I dont live with my parents. But living with my parents was hell, all they think about is their business and getting drunk and stoned. The worst case scenarios is being verbally and physically abused, bottles thrown at you. But I feel alot safer now. But still living by yourself its like jumping from one hell to another.

Not just that I have economic problems, I am suffering in a social basis as well. I am preety much safe to say I am a pathetic loner. I really dont have any friends, well true friends that is. Only acquaintances at work and just to hang out with. Its hard to live life when you dont have any friends, you dont have anyone to share what you feel in an emotional level, you dont have any friends that will check up on you when your down, no one to tell you that your worth it, that your not that bad, that is why not just that I feel lonely, but my self esteem is really really terrible.

Right now I could go on telling you a whole list of problems, but Ill try to keep it short. ATM im just so tired to even write down my problems. I really am so lost and confused, and due to too much fear and anxiety I too am losing concentration and focus on what I should do, or what I should say. Sometimes I even think that my memory is also affected by this, its weird that something is on my mind for example, I need to pick up something in my bedroom, the moment i get in I forget what i meant to do or what to get

Loneliness doesnt help when you also get abused and harrassed online. If I cant get any real true friends in real life, how pathethic could I be if I cant even be heard, no one to listen to, or no one to talk to in this virtual world. With no internet friends at all, seriously could I be more pathetic than I already am. Right now I cant really share anything that will bring happiness and joy, cause all that I have in my mind atm is just the anxiety and the fears that I have for the last 12 months.

Ill just give u a slight dose, just dot points of my fears and why my self esteem is down.

Fears

1)Fear of the future, fear of where I will end up in 5-10 years from now, whether I will suffer both financially and socially, will I be a loner even when im 30 years old, Will I ever get married, will any woman fall in love with a loser like me

2)Fears of social situation, whether I will make a fool of myself, I hate embarrassing myself in social situations.

3)Fears of losing my job

4)Fears that I may never change, like my personality would I be able to finally come out of my shell, will I still be an introvert and a shy creature. Even when I am loud and outgoing, is there a way to get peoples attention instead of them running away or ignoring me all the time.

5)Fears that I may have this bipolar depression for a very long time and other phobia’s. So many people, in fact basically every human being will go through life having lost a love one, break ups in relationships or marriages, unemployment, financial crisis, but people go through this its just life, but for others like myself I have phobia’s social anxiety problems when Im out, I just don’t know what to say, or when I do say things it just doesn’t make any sense. 4 weeks ago I have been suffering from 6 weeks of Agorophobia, total isolation just staying at home for most of the time, without getting out of the house.

Reasons for low Self Esteem

- I feel like the worst, most worthless human being on the planet why???

1) I just feel like everyone is better than me, or doing better than me anyways, whether in terms of the number of friends they have, the lifestyle, their jobs, careers, what they have, makes me feel worthless and really pathethic.

2) As I see whether in real life or over the internet people find it so easy to fully express themselves, and they are able to win friends and get people’s attentions. Its easy for them to be outgoing because of how high their self esteem is, and some are just too damn cocky and I hate that.

3) When I hear stories of what they have done, fun things that they have done over the weekend makes you think gosh I really am missing out on so much things in my life. And I would do anything to change, but I need to change something first and that’s what I am thinking up in my head, I need to have the willpower to change

4) Well I try to go out at least once a week, or once a fortnight, but when Im at home alone by myself, haven’t done anything over the weekend makes you think gosh am I this bad that no one wants to hang around with me, is there something wrong with me. I ask that same question as well when Im out with the crew and Im being totally ignored and left out, when that happens I always ask myself what I am doing wrong.

5) Its totally unfair how all the cruel and the nasty people of this world gets all the friends and the success, and the fun. While the nice and caring people they get taken advantaged, used, they have to put up with all the misery and all the pains. Fair enough it has got to do something with confidence but It does not have to mean that they have to be so cocky and so selfish and inconsiderate.

I hope I provided you with the right answers, and hopefully I haven’t bored you at all, but most of all I am so sorry if I have depressed you. Enough about me, I see that you are 16 years old. I really feel for you and I wish I could’ve been there for you. I kinda feel like a big brother to you cause Ive never had any siblings, nor a bro or a sis. But Im here now, and Ill always be here for you whenever you need me. You don’t deserve to put up with this misery and pains in your life at all. I too want to help you, so your not alone we will both work together. I promise that I will be there for you when you need me, and I will do my best to free you out of your misery and pains.

I am somehow happy and relief that I finally can relate to someone. I haven’t smiled for a week now, and atm you have made me smile again. I am really happy that weve found each other, that I have found a new friend in you. You seem like a really nice person, I wish we can meet each other one day. Now that we have each other, I promise that we will work together

I wish I could write you more, but I don’t want to bore you as much as I have already and its nearly 4am in Australia, I think my bed is calling me already lol. But we will catch up soon, and then we can start talking about the fun stuff, and you will know more about me as the days go on.

I think you said it all dude, what a wonderful insight you have. You rule man!

 

[marigold]

Layne Staley is singing.. "Next week I'll turn 28.. I'm still young.."
It's not too late, my friend