Hi everybody
I guess I am looking for advice on what I should do, what steps should I take.
Right now I have no friends and its been that way for a while. When I go back to school and work I can talk to other students because I have work study. I have considered making them friends but I feel weird trying to insert myself into someone’s life if I’m not invited. I do live on campus so I have had roommates but I have never had anything in common with them and they (my past roommates) made a habit of bringing their boyfriends over and going things in the room while I’m there that doesn’t exactly make it easy to talk to and or look at them the next day. When I was in my junior year a friend from high school came to the school that I go to and we tried to hang out. The didn’t go so well because when I met her friends that weren’t exactly warm and welcoming, plus they gave me really weird looks like whose is this chick. She eventually stopped talking to me and when I emailed her to find out why ( at 2 a.m when I was tired which is not a good idea) she told me that I need to change everything about myself and that I make a better email friend then a friend in real in life. I know that I need to change myself I’m not in denial about that but she wasn’t the best friend either. I considered joining a sorority to make new friends and become more open but she told me that it wasn’t something that I can do/ was capable of and then throw away the information card that the sorority girl gave me. Which left me feeling like I can never be the hyper, smiling , weird (normal is overrated
) person that I feel like on the inside. And I’ll admit I wasn’t the best person / friend I could have been, what with complaining so much. Coming from a dysfunctional family I really just wanted someone to talk to about my problems because even my sister can understand how I feel sometimes. I know I shouldn’t have expected her to help or understand, really the last thing I want to be is a burden to anyone. So right now I’m friendless and over weight; along with having no money to participate in non free activities and trips; which I feel keeps me from trying new things because I don’t want to be known as that weird fat girl. And I know that when some people look at me the fat girl part comes into play because the last time someone made a rude comment about my weight was a classmate in a class of no more then 12 people during my junior year of college. Unfortunately losing weight will take a good amount of time so I can’t wait to try improve myself on the inside while I work on the outside. I would lose precious time that I could using to improve my personality while I try to get comfortable with the way I look. So here I am at 22 partly feeling like I have made my bed and should lie in and there is no reason why I have to resign myself to this because I have so much life ahead of me. Even if I was 70 and not 22 I feel that there is no reason why I shouldn’t work towards my happiness but other days I feel that isn’t true. Then on some days I am straddling the fence. I would take a social skills class but the only one that they offer near me is for teenagers and kids.
So I begging on my knees; one of which hurts like hell because of that tumble I took the other day (it was wet), can someone help me?
Sorry if I rambled, for the long read and for the bad grammar
…and if this is in the wrong place.
Pan
I guess I am looking for advice on what I should do, what steps should I take.
Right now I have no friends and its been that way for a while. When I go back to school and work I can talk to other students because I have work study. I have considered making them friends but I feel weird trying to insert myself into someone’s life if I’m not invited. I do live on campus so I have had roommates but I have never had anything in common with them and they (my past roommates) made a habit of bringing their boyfriends over and going things in the room while I’m there that doesn’t exactly make it easy to talk to and or look at them the next day. When I was in my junior year a friend from high school came to the school that I go to and we tried to hang out. The didn’t go so well because when I met her friends that weren’t exactly warm and welcoming, plus they gave me really weird looks like whose is this chick. She eventually stopped talking to me and when I emailed her to find out why ( at 2 a.m when I was tired which is not a good idea) she told me that I need to change everything about myself and that I make a better email friend then a friend in real in life. I know that I need to change myself I’m not in denial about that but she wasn’t the best friend either. I considered joining a sorority to make new friends and become more open but she told me that it wasn’t something that I can do/ was capable of and then throw away the information card that the sorority girl gave me. Which left me feeling like I can never be the hyper, smiling , weird (normal is overrated
) person that I feel like on the inside. And I’ll admit I wasn’t the best person / friend I could have been, what with complaining so much. Coming from a dysfunctional family I really just wanted someone to talk to about my problems because even my sister can understand how I feel sometimes. I know I shouldn’t have expected her to help or understand, really the last thing I want to be is a burden to anyone. So right now I’m friendless and over weight; along with having no money to participate in non free activities and trips; which I feel keeps me from trying new things because I don’t want to be known as that weird fat girl. And I know that when some people look at me the fat girl part comes into play because the last time someone made a rude comment about my weight was a classmate in a class of no more then 12 people during my junior year of college. Unfortunately losing weight will take a good amount of time so I can’t wait to try improve myself on the inside while I work on the outside. I would lose precious time that I could using to improve my personality while I try to get comfortable with the way I look. So here I am at 22 partly feeling like I have made my bed and should lie in and there is no reason why I have to resign myself to this because I have so much life ahead of me. Even if I was 70 and not 22 I feel that there is no reason why I shouldn’t work towards my happiness but other days I feel that isn’t true. Then on some days I am straddling the fence. I would take a social skills class but the only one that they offer near me is for teenagers and kids. So I begging on my knees; one of which hurts like hell because of that tumble I took the other day (it was wet), can someone help me?
Sorry if I rambled, for the long read and for the bad grammar
…and if this is in the wrong place.
Pan
