Accepting romance will never be a part of your life

[TheDude76]

I have a question for everyone: Is it factually incorrect to state that the chance of experiencing a relationship (and staying in it) decreases with age, especially when you have not been in any relationships prior?

I'll let you know. I'm almost 40. I've never had a relationship. I dated a woman for a couple months about six years ago. That's the only one that lasted past two dates, and it was not a relationship. I'm still open to the idea, but I'm not terribly optimistic at this point.

If you dated her for a few months, how was it not a relationship?

I never developed feelings for her. I know when I feel a real connection, and I was hoping I would with her. It didn't happen, for either of us.

Why were you dating her for months if you didn't have feelings for her? You must have been attracted to her if you dated her for so long.

Did you kiss and/or all the other stuff that would make it romantic? That would be a relationship to me.
By "develop feelings," I assume you mean love?

This was someone I met on an online dating site (something I no longer do). Now, in real life, if I'm in some group or another, if I meet a seriously cool woman, I might develop those feelings over time. In the case of the online thing, I don't have that time to get to know someone. Since I don't fall for a woman in the blink of an eye, I need time to learn who they are, hence the two months. After that time, I knew it wasn't gonna happen.

 

[EmilyFoxSeaton]

I don't have that time to get to know someone. Since I don't fall for a woman in the blink of an eye, I need time to learn who they are, hence the two months. After that time, I knew it wasn't gonna happen.

In case you want to get a name for your condition it is called being Demisexual. http://demisexuality.org/articles/what-is-demisexuality/

I first read this on 'xo jane" followed by 300 comments saying how stupid this was that this is just being normal. But the truth is, it isn't normal anymore. Just reason 1001 that getting a relationship is much harder in the current environment that we live in.

 

[AnonymousMe]

In in between of accepting it and not accepting it.
Due to my current living conditions, I know I'm not in a position to give/receive romance and even though I've given up on many things about life, I'm still hopeful for a fortunate future.
I've approached a total of 4 girls so far and because I failed to get them interested, my present-day strategy is to just wait until someone finds me engaging; see what life offers me.
If I don't get to experience loving relationships or better living conditions, I'll have no problems in ending my own life.

 

[NightHawkJohn]

I try to be hopeful that i will have that again in my life, but the realist in me kinda thinks that its probably not that likely these days.

 

[TheDude76]

I don't have that time to get to know someone. Since I don't fall for a woman in the blink of an eye, I need time to learn who they are, hence the two months. After that time, I knew it wasn't gonna happen.

In case you want to get a name for your condition it is called being Demisexual. http://demisexuality.org/articles/what-is-demisexuality/

I read that (thanks for the link!), and I wouldn't say that I feel *no* sexual attraction without an emotional bond, it's just that I consider the emotional bond "the good stuff". When I feel I'm connecting emotionally with a woman, I don't want to be anywhere else. It's perfect. I can't see a relationship being built solely on "Hey, she's cute...". That's probably why so few people stay together these days.

 

[VanillaCreme]

I don't have that time to get to know someone. Since I don't fall for a woman in the blink of an eye, I need time to learn who they are, hence the two months. After that time, I knew it wasn't gonna happen.

In case you want to get a name for your condition it is called being Demisexual. http://demisexuality.org/articles/what-is-demisexuality/

I read that (thanks for the link!), and I wouldn't say that I feel *no* sexual attraction without an emotional bond, it's just that I consider the emotional bond "the good stuff". When I feel I'm connecting emotionally with a woman, I don't want to be anywhere else. It's perfect. I can't see a relationship being built solely on "Hey, she's cute...". That's probably why so few people stay together these days.

I don't think how you feel has to have a "condition" put to it. I wouldn't automatically determine what someone is like that either. How you feel is how you feel.

 

[TheSkaFish]

Offtopic but since this thread has her last post it made me think. BayouWoman was banned? When the hell did this happen? I remember her as being a very reasonable person.