Am I overthinking again??

[Restless soul]

Callie there is a reddit called " forever alone" someone once linked it here. It's basicly guys who never had a girlfriend been in a relationship and the majority of them all blame it on thier looks.
They feel inadequate in the looks department even to go as far as calling themsleves ugly. Now I am by no means that. Because I don't consider myself ugly. But I do let my opinion and the mental image change upon a comment or comparison to others.
So very unstable in that area.

 

[TheRealCallie]

That's irrelevant to what I said. You need to figure out WHY and you need to take the time to figure it out. It can't be answered right this second, hell it can't be answered today. You don't know why, because you are blocking the why.

So, either take the time to figure out the why and fix it or figure out a way to work around the obsession to compare yourself to others.

 

[Restless soul]

I thought I answered why How I look is important
2 posts ago

 

[TheRealCallie]

I thought I answered why How I look is important
2 posts ago

You answered superficially, in a way that would apply to EVERYONE.  If it was as simple as you stated, it wouldn't be this much of a problem.   Therefore, your issues go deeper than that.  There's another reason, a much bigger reason....

 

[Restless soul]

Well then, I'd say that's where you need to start.  WHY does physical appearance mean so damn much to you and HOW can you stop letting it control your life?

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And no, you don't have to give me those answers.  Those answers are your own and no one else's.  Figure it out and make the change.

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Just does. When you feel good, and feel you look good 
You have more confidence. You want to persue relationships
You feel women are attracted to you thusthis feeling less lonley. Yeah. Thats one way to answer that

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No, that's not what I mean. EVERYONE feels that way, you put more stock in it than most people.  The answers to the questions I asked you can't be answered in 2 seconds.  It requires thought, it requires searching your mind and your soul for why you really let it have so much impact on your life.

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Here - wasn't answered in two seconds. Was discussed and dissected over many threads. And it can be answered when you have all the time in the world to think about it. But, that is the main component as to why it matters so much.

 

[TheRealCallie]

lol, no

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That's what you want to BELIEVE it is, but it's clearly not the main component.

 

[Restless soul]

Oh boy!!

 

[TheRealCallie]

I spent years believing all my problems were because I was fat. Guess what happened after I lost the weight......NOTHING CHANGED except my clothing size.

 

[Restless soul]

Ok. Since this is physcial causing mental distress I will have to give you other examples. Take a obese man that was once thin.
Take a bald guy that once had hair. Thier self-esteen is shot evry time they see a thin guy or a man with hair.

They feel inadequate or even depressed. That is how I get for being compared to someone I feel doesn't fit the physical description I like. Now that 6 million dollar question. What does one do about feeling that way???

 

[TheRealCallie]

I think you either can't comprehend what I said (not being insulting here) or that you just didn't read what I said.

 

[Restless soul]

No. You are not understanding what I am saying. Are you??

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I spent years believing all my problems were because I was fat.  Guess what happened after I lost the weight......NOTHING CHANGED except my clothing size.

Yeah?? Well it should have made some impact on how you feel if it improved how you looked and felt. You would. Know if being overweight was casuing you to feel insecure. How can you not?

 

[TheRealCallie]

Sigh, yeah, whatever, I give up

 

[Restless soul]

Silly. How you feel physically about yourself influences how you feel mentally. 100% not in all areas but it makes a difference

 

[TheRealCallie]

Yeah, you definitely aren't understanding what I said. I'm done here, I dislike repeating myself over and over again.

 

[Restless soul]

Yeah, you definitely aren't understanding what I said.  I'm done here, I dislike repeating myself over and over again.

Try speaking very slow. You speak too fast maybe...

You are right. Hopefully others might be more helpful

---

I will review all your replies to me callie, and see just how much sense they made. How helpful you were really trying to be. Miss blunt

 

[Restless soul]

Its been a pleasure as always talking with you callie

 

[Xpendable]

Change on the inside, then maybe things will change.

 

[Restless soul]

Change on the inside, then maybe things will change.

Hmmmm?

 

[Xpendable]

Change on the inside, then maybe things will change.

Hmmmm?

Not you.

 

[Restless soul]

Change on the inside, then maybe things will change.

Hmmmm?

Not you.

I'm sorry. Who is that about? What do you mean?