Anger.

[Naizo]

Well I can tell you I was angry at a video game when I made this thread. My actual anger towards real life people has faded strongly. Recently a co worker of mine lied to her father, or rather he misunderstood something I said to her while she was over the phone with him. Regardless she let it escalate and did not step in, and she allowed him to think I threatened her life. It is on camera that we worked together after the accusation took place without incident and with us both speaking to each other without any sign of anger or fear or anything of the sort.

The end result of her inability to tell the truth ended in her father choking me, being charged with a felony assault, and now he will likely lose his job. I feel bad for him, not so much for her, as she lost nothing because of it all. Her boyfriend is a good friend of mine and watched it happen, and many of my friends stood by and let it happen and said nothing to her father to set him straight nor me, so the most I got to say to him was I didn't do anything before I was thrown on my back and had his hand around my throat.

I'm well known to always be straightforward and brutally honest, even when it means I've done wrong and must admit it. So with full clarity I can tell my friends and family no I did not threaten her in any form or fashion. She cost her father his job and respect in the community. He has nobody to blame but himself for acting on a whim.

That being said, people tell me I cost him his job and so and so. In reality I did no such thing. I have spoken nowhere but here about this. Not openly. I would appreciate it staying that way. But when I say people have taken advantage of my kindness I mean it. The same girl is one I saved from getting cheated on because I told her about her at the time boyfriends intentions to do so. She knows I'm an honest person to a fault. She knows I considered her one of my better friends and co workers. Does that mean anything at all to someone who simply doesn't care about the lives of others? No.

 

[Naizo]

That being said. Having my life threatened while my mother sat no more than 20 feet away unaware? I'll never feel suicidal again. That much is certain.

 

[Naizo]

Not to mention her complAint of losing hours at work because we can no longer work together in the same building? Her fear is losing money when she put my life in danger over a lie and a misunderstanding? I can never respect humanity in the same fashion I once did.

 

[TheSkaFish]

My ******* hands shake when I get so ******* mad because I hold it in, people ******* wronging me whether it be something as ******* small as cheating at something insignificant to truly wronging me and my life which is already a complete piece of ******* garbage. Over the years I've lost every single ******* person I've loved or held dear. And true story, not because of my ******* anger. It's because they leave me, despite my giving nature despite my empathetic being, that I have grown to hold such a ******* hatred for everyone and everything because it's only a matter of ******* time before their true colors show. Given my nature people have taken advantage of my kindness, and when my anger rears its head, they take advantage of that in order to make me seem like the bad guy. I'm ******* tired of it, and I'm ******* tired of people being garbage.

I don't know what to say except that I'm sorry to see that you're surrounded by such toxic people.  I also didn't realize that you had been physically attacked.  I would be very angry too if that had happened to me.

I don't know how useful it would be to say this, but I have been very angry before, similar to your original post where I have been so angry that I'm sweating and twitching and all I want to do is get even with the person who's made me feel so angry and powerless.  But what helps for me when those moods strike, is to remember that I won't get what I want by being angry, that there's a better way and that the angry feelings always pass eventually.  It helps to just sit still, or go for a walk, drink some tea, eat something, or to just vent without asking for advice, either to myself or someone I can trust to be empathetic to me.  Sometimes it helps get rid of the feelings just knowing that somebody is listening.  

Anyway.  Hope you're hanging in there Naizo, and that you find some way to meet people who treat you better.

 

[Naizo]

I appreciate it. I'm not angry at them though.

 

[Paraiyar]

Can't blame you at all for being really angry at that. I do think it's a mistake to let this girl's vile behaviour affect your relations with other people if you can avoid it, though.

 

[Naizo]

True, true. That's how I was when referring to my ex that broke my heart though. In reality, I was a child and she wanted a real family. By the time I grew up, she was gone. But she, her influence, effects every thing I think of or act upon. Whether its making satire of a depressing situation to cheer others up, and my inability to speak to women because she made it so easy to open up that I never had to learn how to. Lol.


Anyways, life is okay. I can't say I hate life. I just don't like how people treat each other.

 

[planetlonely23]

I agree with you, I wish to people all the best, It's not easy to understand anger, normally coming with the frustration that  we receive with things uncompleted.

 

[Naizo]

It's strange. Last night I had a nightmare, for some reason I was in a strange house and someone was trying to **** a woman, and I ran up to him and went to jam my knee into his balls, but then I woke up suddenly. I don't really understand it?