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VanillaCreme

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Should I give him another chance? We started talking again, and, it's not that I'm unsure, I just don't want to go through that all again. We talked/argued it over, and he wants to be together again...

:club:
 
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samba101 said:
You haven't said much vanilla so I don't know what to say, depends why you broke up to begin with.

We argued too much. Anything and everything humanly possible, we argued over it. And he has to feed an ego the size of the universe, and that means other females were in the picture. He claims he never cheated though.
 
VanillaCreme said:
samba101 said:
You haven't said much vanilla so I don't know what to say, depends why you broke up to begin with.

We argued too much. Anything and everything humanly possible, we argued over it. And he has to feed an ego the size of the universe, and that means other females were in the picture. He claims he never cheated though.

Just judging by this post, my first instinct would be to say "Oh HELL no." Ask yourself if you were happy during all the arguments and uncertainty. Don't think about what it could have been like if there were no arguments, remember what it was really like and ask yourself if you want to endure that again.

You say that he wants to get together again. It sounds like it's all about what he wants. Listen to your inner voice.

Best of luck to you.
 
VanillaCreme said:
samba101 said:
You haven't said much vanilla so I don't know what to say, depends why you broke up to begin with.

We argued too much. Anything and everything humanly possible, we argued over it. And he has to feed an ego the size of the universe, and that means other females were in the picture. He claims he never cheated though.


Are ya arguing about getting back together too?
 
Lonesome Crow said:
VanillaCreme said:
samba101 said:
You haven't said much vanilla so I don't know what to say, depends why you broke up to begin with.

We argued too much. Anything and everything humanly possible, we argued over it. And he has to feed an ego the size of the universe, and that means other females were in the picture. He claims he never cheated though.


Are ya arguing about getting back together too?

We did actually.
 
VanillaCreme said:
Lonesome Crow said:
VanillaCreme said:
samba101 said:
You haven't said much vanilla so I don't know what to say, depends why you broke up to begin with.

We argued too much. Anything and everything humanly possible, we argued over it. And he has to feed an ego the size of the universe, and that means other females were in the picture. He claims he never cheated though.


Are ya arguing about getting back together too?

We did actually.

I can't give you advice either way or make chioces for you
whether you should be with this guy or some other guy.

I belive a person or an adult should make chioces for themselve
in anything. It's a part of maturity and being responsible for
one's own happiness or one's life. In this light the blame game
will stop. The victim role will stop. The leaning or worrying on other people's opinion will stop.
The manipulations or being manipulated will stop.

You will never make a wrong dicision. If things didn't work out according to your decisions,
you will learn from you decision first hand. If you learn from your mistakes. It can't not be a wrong decision.
If things works out at the begining. Later on you'll be face with more decisions as a relationship changes or life changes.

Your self-esteem and self worth grows. Trusting and beliving in yourself will grow.

It is very important that you learn to not belive in anything
anyone say is true. It might be true for them..however it might
not be true for you..."To THY OwnSelf Be True"

This included me or anyone else.
Here's my opinion..from my experince...

It dosn't matter whether you get back with this guy or love another
guy...You'll just continue to argu reguardless.
It takes two to mingle or fight. You still have to look at your part
in it. Your behavior patterns. Your thought process.

I learned that after I got a deviorced...I thought it was just
the relationship I had with my ex-wf.

I went through 3 women before I was able to figure it out..
Then I chill out to work on myself so I was able to form
a healthier relationship with a woman...

Bascailly the name and faces changes but I was living and doing
the samething. Plus I chose women that has simular traits of my
ex-wf.

That's why I keep writing about the sticker my ex-wf had.
"it takes a ***** like me to love a ******* like him"

To the contrary of some saying or slogons..
"opposite dosn't attract"
The truth in my life is ....I'll only attract or is attracted to people
that's about as sick or as well as I Am..."Chemistry "
My ex-wife irratated the hell out of me...becuase I had all those traits within myself also.
Yet at the sametime she loves me very much...it's also becuase I love her very much too.

It's a humble feeling knowing this truth.
That's why I work on myself..
 
VanillaCreme said:
samba101 said:
You haven't said much vanilla so I don't know what to say, depends why you broke up to begin with.

We argued too much. Anything and everything humanly possible, we argued over it. And he has to feed an ego the size of the universe, and that means other females were in the picture. He claims he never cheated though.

Judging by this post, Nilla, I would advise HIGHLY against getting back together with him.

You want to be happy in a relationship, and if the 2 of you argue constantly, you are definatly not going to be happy. As for his ego problem....do you REALLY want to be with someone like that? You deserve better.

As for other females being involved.........RUN! And run as fast as you can. I have said time and time again that loyalty is one of THE most important things in a relationship. You should be able to trust that he is not running around on you.

I would rather be single and lonely than to be with someone I couldn't trust. With all I have been through in my life, I don't think I could handle it if someone ever cheated on me.

In any relationship, things are going to get rocky at times, and you need a partner who you know will stick by you no matter what.
 
samba101 said:
Nah I say don't get back with him, who wants to argue all the time, just gets too much in the end.

Right... This is right. I'm taking this to heart. Because I'm sick of it.

And Sonic, I believe that too. Trust and honesty and loyalty are very important. I can do bad all by myself. I don't need anyone else helping me along.

Thanks everyone. <3
 
Glad to hear it Nilla. You deserve a relationship that will make you happy :)
 
Steel said:
Glad to hear it Nilla. You deserve a relationship that will make you happy :)

Where do I find one? Is there a store I can go to? :<

I love you, Steel, but your pasties only do so much. :(
 
no, once a problem, always a problem, unless you see some serious change, and not him just telling you hes changed, then no.
and i dont even know what the problem was in the first place but i stress, live by this one rule.
 
I too am thinking of getting back together with my ex husband, the weird thing is its been twenty years!!!! We were young, We were married Nov 4th of 1987 while I was still in high school. I worked on the base and had met many guys but this one stood out. I loved his smile, his affectionate way, I just loved him. Well our daughter was born July 8,1988 so I got pregnant somewhere close to when we got married and she was a little early. Things were ok until I found out I was pregnant, and I was very sick....I did nothing but sleep for four months. I moved home to my parents because I could not take care of myself much less a baby. My husband and I had fights, mostly involving insecurity *********. I had to move home, I had to think about someone else besides myself and whether this guy was going to buck up to being a dad or just let me lie there sick and wait for us both to die. I had no phone, no car...no friends...I just slept...I was to young to know I could have just went to the base hospital since he was military. We seperated when I was about four months pregnany and it was so hard...but I had to make sure this baby had a chance and not have the life I had. I could not trust him so my parents won and I got the divorce. I moved on, married..had another baby girl...married almost 20 years now. Yeah I know.....
I lost myself along time ago, I lived for my girls...I was a mother I never had. My husband wasnt the dad I wanted for my girls but he was there and thats more than what I had. When my girls were old enough to take care of themselves more I felt this terrible pain start....needless to say they were becoming sufficient and I had to find me again. My marriage wasnt abusive or horrible, but there is nothing there....what was there was my need to provide a stable enviroment for my girls.....I know it sounds horrible and at the time I didnt realize it....I do now. When you live in home with someone who would rather watch sports or go race cars than talk to you it makes for a sad existence. So for the last six years or so I have been battling severe depression and anxiety. So I go to the local mental hospital...three times...yes three. The weird thing is while I was there I was me for a time....I could almost catch me...and then I come home and it starts all over again. I try hard to handle things and then its back to the self medicating. After my last trip to the hospital I vowed that I would not let myself sink and would pray daily.....I did...I prayed and even fasted ....two months of trying and I am about to just give up and I find his name on FB.....my heart sank and it all came out...all the feelings I have had and never been allowed to feel. So were talking now and of couse things have changed and he says he has always loved me....but I am sensing his desperation because of other losses in his life. I want to be with him, but Im so scared...I have to move on from this relationship I am in now before I completely lose it. I just dont know if I may need time by myself before jumping into another relationship...where there is so much baggage already. Any advice??????
 

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