Anybody else bad at making friends?

[Angelo91]

I'm fortunate enough to not have moved away from the one real friend I made in middle school otherwise I'd be in the exact same boat. It's like, you grow up and other folks you meet talk about the stupidest honeysuckle sometimes to the point where you want to smash them with a brick or otherwise cannot relate in the slightest to what they are talking about. People your own age are living in a different reality and you feel as if you've been born in the wrong society or time period or something.

It's like, you grow up and other folks you meet talk about the stupidest honeysuckle sometimes to the point where you want to smash them with a brick or otherwise cannot relate in the slightest to what they are talking about. People your own age are living in a different reality and you feel as if you've been born in the wrong society or time period or something.


feel exactly the same way 90% of the time.It like what society wants is mediocrity,anything less is a disability that results in only pity it seems,and and anything more is like a responsibility that people think is odd or bizarre or something.Like you have no need of friends since your not a "normal"human.

I feel the same way

 

[markgil]

i am in the same boat as everyone else on this thread. i'm married but dont have any friends of my own and never really have had any. i am an introvert (INTJ on the personality type tests) who doesn't seem to connect to people easily even though i often want to. i have work friends whom i dont see outside of the job and dont connect with my family at all. my wife is an extrovert who has everyone tell her how wonderful she is and how they want to spend time with her. i often feel like a tag along and am often lonely and depressed as i wonder what is wrong with me. i am very jealous of people who are out going and charismatic and long to have those traits. i dont want to be mr. popular or anything but it would be nice if a person or two would be interested in me once in a while. i guess i'm lucky to have a spouse but if i were no longer married, i would end up by myself all the time doing nothing and dont think i could handle that.

 

[Lebowski]

i am in the same boat as everyone else on this thread. i'm married but dont have any friends of my own and never really have had any. i am an introvert (INTJ on the personality type tests) who doesn't seem to connect to people easily even though i often want to. i have work friends whom i dont see outside of the job and dont connect with my family at all. my wife is an extrovert who has everyone tell her how wonderful she is and how they want to spend time with her. i often feel like a tag along and am often lonely and depressed as i wonder what is wrong with me. i am very jealous of people who are out going and charismatic and long to have those traits. i dont want to be mr. popular or anything but it would be nice if a person or two would be interested in me once in a while. i guess i'm lucky to have a spouse but if i were no longer married, i would end up by myself all the time doing nothing and dont think i could handle that.

you'll make friends. you've already gotten the spouse part done.

 

[markgil]

[/quote]

you'll make friends. you've already gotten the spouse part done.
[/quote]

thanks for the confidence but i am much older than you think (42) and i have yet to do so. i am really convinced that there is something about me that prevents my connecting to other people but i have no idea what it could be. i was told by a therapist that most introverts like to be alone and that it is unusual to be a lonely introvert but i dont know if i believe that.

 

[Jesse]

I'm bad at making friends. At least in real life; I'm good at making internet friends, but the virtual hugs just aren't as good as real ones.

I don't remember the last time I made a new friend. I have about 2 or 3 friends that I've had since school and they've pretty much been it. They've been my friends since kindergarten so I havn't made a friend in real life for 16 years.

I can't even make friends with people; I don't know how I could ever find a girlfriend. I don't know how. My dad told me to go to a library and just start talking to women. I like how he makes it seem so easy. I'm just feeling pretty down right now. I don't think I'll ever get to hold a woman's hand in a movie or snuggle on the couch.

 

[cheaptrickfan]

I'm good at making acquaintances and "surface friends," but I have a hard time really trusting people though, so true friends are difficult for me to come by.

I'm also kind of bad at keeping in touch with the friends that I do have. I've traveled a lot and I used to work in Academia, which generally has a high turn-over rate; people are always moving on to other colleges, going back to their countries if they're international students/faculty etc. It's easier to maintain contact with email, but I amaze even myself at how bad I am at simply replying.

 

[jjam]

I'm sitting here in a very good mood (thanks to the great sounds of music - Van Hunt right now), but just thinking about stuff. Nothing's really bringing me down, again, because of the music. Anyway, the thought of the moment was how I am good at being friendly to people, and people to me, but that's about the extent of it usually. Somewhere, there's a turnoff or a fear that keeps things from going further. I don't know if I'll ever solve the riddle.

 

[PoWer2tHePeOpLE]

i'm pretty sure a mouldy cabbage would be better at making friends than me.

some of those cabbages have one hell of a personality.

i hate them.

 

[Maddi_Rose]

Definitely in the same boat...I can make aquaintances who know my name, a little about me, and can make some kind of conversation. It never seems to go any farther though. I don't know if I'm just not interesting enough to them to be a close friend or what.

It's definitely painful when I look around a classroom and everyone is talking with obviously good friends, and I'm talking to no one.

 

[Thomas Crystalstick]

I'm fortunate enough to not have moved away from the one real friend I made in middle school otherwise I'd be in the exact same boat. It's like, you grow up and other folks you meet talk about the stupidest honeysuckle sometimes to the point where you want to smash them with a brick or otherwise cannot relate in the slightest to what they are talking about. People your own age are living in a different reality and you feel as if you've been born in the wrong society or time period or something.

Haha... Maybe it's like you're trying to find a place to dig in the ground, but every spot you find is too rocky, or too close to the water, or there's a hornet's nest under the soil.

 

[sadnessBecomesMe]

I have to laugh at this forum only because it seems to me that the only people looking at this question all have the same problem, and such no one knows the answer.

Sorry to disappoint I have the same problem to and it is also mystery to me why I have hardly any friends. What really insults me though is when I see other people of whom come off like total fruit loops or completely lackluster and are popular enough. I have that weird habit of acquiring friends one week and totally getting dumped the next, and its not that there is something mysteriously weird about me.

I suppose I'm crazy but I feel like this might be a problem dealing with brain damage or maybe an impairment such as chemistry. I'm going to spend my college education and probably my life to trying to find a way to regrow and manipulate nerve cells so that I can fix myself and others like me.

 

[Zackarydoo]

I'm no good at making friends either. I try and try and try, and I manage sometimes to make friends online, but they rarely last. I won't say they never last because that'll be like condemning my current few online friends to the rubbish tip! I can't help worry though, deep down, that in a few month's time I'll no longer have any of my current friends left. It seems like a never-ending cycle with me and I never understand what goes wrong. People just seem to go off me and stop writing to me without explaining what's wrong. So I'm forever coming to forums like this, trying to find new friends. I used to be looking for more than a friend too but at the moment, I'm in an odd long-distance 'more than friends' situation so I don't feel it would be right to look for someone else in that way at the moment.

 

[303]

New here, first post.

I have so much problems making friends, but in the end I tend to believe that it's my fault. I'm not outgoing and I have a very hard time keeping a conversation going. I'm so scared of even talking to anyone that I don't already know. And speaking of people that I know, it's mostly only family.

I don't have one single real friend, I never have. Like a lot of people here, I just know people but I'm not really friends with them, we don't ever hangout at all. I'm 30 years old, I find myself to be an attractive male but I'm just so scared to talk to anyone.

When I do talk to people it always turns into bad things. They always get a bad vibe from me, they find me uninteresting and such. I've come to accept it. Most of my own family I can't even talk to.

Whatever, this is something new for me so I guess I'll see how it goes.

 

[Remedy]

I used to do fairly well at making friends when I was younger and it was no problem at all. But as I got older it just started getting so difficult like I lost the ability to hold conversations and just became extremely shy. I think sentences come out wrong or I just act to weird around people for anyone to like me with my conssistent shyness. Sorry I don't have the answer to this problem but I sure can relate =/.

 

[303]

I used to do fairly well at making friends when I was younger and it was no problem at all. But as I got older it just started getting so difficult like I lost the ability to hold conversations and just became extremely shy. I think sentences come out wrong or I just act to weird around people for anyone to like me with my conssistent shyness. Sorry I don't have the answer to this problem but I sure can relate =/.

You really explained just how I feel. If I manage to get a sentence out then it also comes out all wrong. And I have been called weird by so many people that I've become used to it. Whenever I start a conversation with someone new I almost always explain to them how shy I am and that they will probably think I'm weird. It actually helps a bit at first, but then I'm right back where I was before.

 

[trinitygirl]

I must admit I'm also pretty bad at making friends. The problem for me is approaching people. I can't bring myself to do it..no matter how hard I try..sometimes I worry..I am so awkward..how am I supposed to survive out in the world? It's weird because when I was younger I was also fairly outgoing ( being a performer and whatnot) but as I got older I just ot more uncomfortable with the whole socializing thing.

 

[packyourbags]

hey everyone... i don't know what to say even, i mean... i am ok at talking to people, but actually coming up to someone and saying - hey, you are awesome - let's be friends... X( i will shoot myself before i will acquire sufficient courage for that.
and then the opportunity to befriend that person goes away and i am left wondering.

GAH!!!!

 

[Janjara]

Heh, I remember someone who said something similar to me at a theme park when I was younger. We ended up going on one of the rides together - he got a bit scared and started holding on to me.

It was one of them rollercoasters where they take a picture at a specific point (normally a fast section) and there he was with his eyes closed, gripping my arm.
It was a funny photo ^^

 

[Sociallyawkward401]

ya, me too. no close friends. i seem to offend people easily. i think im just socially retarded. a couple of kids in one of my classes used to talk to me a lot and now they dont talk to me at all. not really sure what i did. that happens to me a lot.

honestly, im just getting used to it and accepting my place in the big cosmic picture. life is all about balance. someone has to balance out the social freaks. guess im it.
once you accept it, it really isnt that bad anymore.

---

Yeah it seems i have friends and they say that there my best friends but they never act like it im in a social club and its supposed to be like a "family" but i end up getting ignored all the time Its starting to bother me an therapy's out of the question Because i aint got money

 

[Arsenic Queen]

There's a problem that occurs sometimes when an attraction exists between friends of opposite genders. This can make friendship difficult and raise conflicts of interests when one of the two has relationship problems or other similar situation.

As for my personal response to the original question, yeah I guess it's difficult for me to trust and let people become my friends. Especially if jealousy issues get in the way.