Anyone in their 30s and still single?

[ITellYouHhwut]

Recently had a  friend of a friend come on to me. First bit of interest from a woman.  I like her as a  person,  but end of the day  I couldn't find her attractive, given that she's very overweight,  on antidepressants,   has an obvious drinking problem and seems to lead an unhealthy lifestyle. Kind of a shock to realize  my options are limited to women  I can't be interested in.

Had this exact same thing happen to me recently. A chick I cannot find attractive in the slightest has been coming around, because I hired her to work on the farm. I don’t think she “LIKES ME” likes me, but she’s definitely showing me more attention than any woman ever has. It’s not that she’s not a nice girl. She’s sweet as can be, and I don’t mind her company, but I cannot find myself attracted to her. After work the other night, I jokingly said she should stay after work and play super nintendo with me, and she took it seriously. She ended up staying for quite a while. We didn’t do anything. I didn’t even touch her. Not sure what her deal is. But regardless, she’s a single mom, which earns her an immediate disqualification.

I look at women almost like cats. Only under very particular circumstances can they, quote-unquote, “love” you. But for the most part they are not geared towards being loving companions to men, nor seek companionship in itself. Men are seen/treated as disposable to women, and women can do without us emotionally, just like cats can do without human companions. Women can go along with the marital/relationship expectations of society so long as it secures them the resources and protection of a man. But if you were to remove or limit those resources and protection, you find that women don’t really need men in themselves. This is of course not true of all women, but it is generally true.

That’s what puts men at a disadvantage, because unlike women, we men base our entire world, our entire worth as human beings, on what women think of us. If women reject us, we don’t feel like worthy human beings who deserve to live. We seek women in/of themselves. It’s them that we want, not money or resources or protection. We just want them, and we want them to love us. But I don’t think women can be companions with men in that way. They simply don’t love us like we love them. Men in/of themselves don’t really matter much to women. This is so obvious too when you look at them, and observe their behavior in daily life. I see no compassion or empathy in their eyes. Just stone cold self-centeredness. It’s really no skin off their back if men are suffering, or feeling unloved or unwanted in a society that encourages women to reject relationships with them, reject family/children as “oppression/burden”, and run roughshod over men. Women seem to be handling that societal change just fine, not really having any second thoughts about it. Just like cats. They don’t really need you, unless the situation calls for it.

 

[iAmCodeMonkey]

That’s what puts men at a disadvantage, because unlike women, we men base our entire world, our entire worth as human beings, on what women think of us. If women reject us, we don’t feel like worthy human beings who deserve to live.

Uh, no "we" don't "base our entire world on what women think of us." Maybe you do though, in which case you should probably see a therapist. That is really not a healthy mindset to have.

Newsflash: Not every man, or woman for that matter, thinks exactly the same. Neither gender is a monolith. Everyone of us is an individual at the end of the day and should be treated as such. No one is obligated to be attracted to anyone else.

 

[ardour]

^But there a patterns. and the fact is women is, or at least younger women, have on average far more choices apparent to them in the dating world and can more easily afford to take a detached attitude, to "not care" - or not bother pretending to care - and still find someone.

 

[ITellYouHhwut]

That’s what puts men at a disadvantage, because unlike women, we men base our entire world, our entire worth as human beings, on what women think of us. If women reject us, we don’t feel like worthy human beings who deserve to live.

Uh, no "we" don't "base our entire world on what women think of us." Maybe you do though, in which case you should probably see a therapist. That is really not a healthy mindset to have.

Newsflash: Not every man, or woman for that matter, thinks exactly the same. Neither gender is a monolith. Everyone of us is an individual at the end of the day and should be treated as such. No one is obligated to be attracted to anyone else.

I might be exaggerating the point, but what I’m saying is not far from true. Yes, men generally base their worth as human beings on whether or not women accept/desire them. We are programmed to be that way to some degree. 

And yes, women generally don’t seek men as ends in themselves, and they don’t really care much about men outside particular circumstances. They see men more as means to an end, rather than ends in themselves. Men are dispensable/disposable. Therefore, women are very analogous to cats in that way.

 

[ahsatan]

Cats are very compassionate , kind , loving, loyal. I love it when people talk about cats when they don't know **** about them.

 

[ITellYouHhwut]

Cats are very compassionate , kind , loving, loyal. I love it when people talk about cats when they don't  know **** about them.

But you admit women aren’t?

 

[TheRealCallie]

Can you please keep your woman hating ******** to your own damn threads? You know, if you weren't so negative and didn't bash women all the damn time, maybe someone would give you a chance.

 

[iAmCodeMonkey]

Can you please keep your woman hating ******** to your own damn threads? You know, if you weren't so negative and didn't bash women all the damn time, maybe someone would give you a chance.

^ THIS.

 

[Bored]

Recently had a  friend of a friend come on to me. First bit of interest from a woman.  I like her as a  person,  but end of the day  I couldn't find her attractive, given that she's very overweight,  on antidepressants,   has an obvious drinking problem and seems to lead an unhealthy lifestyle. Kind of a shock to realize  my options are limited to women  I can't be interested in.

Had this exact same thing happen to me recently. A chick I cannot find attractive in the slightest has been coming around, because I hired her to work on the farm. I don’t think she “LIKES ME” likes me, but she’s definitely showing me more attention than any woman ever has. It’s not that she’s not a nice girl. She’s sweet as can be, and I don’t mind her company, but I cannot find myself attracted to her. After work the other night, I jokingly said she should stay after work and play super nintendo with me, and she took it seriously. She ended up staying for quite a while. We didn’t do anything. I didn’t even touch her. Not sure what her deal is. But regardless, she’s a single mom, which earns her an immediate disqualification.

I look at women almost like cats. Only under very particular circumstances can they, quote-unquote, “love” you. But for the most part they are not geared towards being loving companions to men, nor seek companionship in itself. Men are seen/treated as disposable to women, and women can do without us emotionally, just like cats can do without human companions. Women can go along with the marital/relationship expectations of society so long as it secures them the resources and protection of a man. But if you were to remove or limit those resources and protection, you find that women don’t really need men in themselves. This is of course not true of all women, but it is generally true.

That’s what puts men at a disadvantage, because unlike women, we men base our entire world, our entire worth as human beings, on what women think of us. If women reject us, we don’t feel like worthy human beings who deserve to live. We seek women in/of themselves. It’s them that we want, not money or resources or protection. We just want them, and we want them to love us. But I don’t think women can be companions with men in that way. They simply don’t love us like we love them. Men in/of themselves don’t really matter much to women. This is so obvious too when you look at them, and observe their behavior in daily life. I see no compassion or empathy in their eyes. Just stone cold self-centeredness. It’s really no skin off their back if men are suffering, or feeling unloved or unwanted in a society that encourages women to reject relationships with them, reject family/children as “oppression/burden”, and run roughshod over men. Women seem to be handling that societal change just fine, not really having any second thoughts about it. Just like cats. They don’t really need you, unless the situation calls for it.

Who the hell are both of you to go around saying women are the cold, indifferent, superficial ones? Both of you are sitting here disqualifying women based on looks, medical history, and single mom status who have been nice to you and showed interest.

 

[ardour]

Recently had a  friend of a friend come on to me. First bit of interest from a woman.  I like her as a  person,  but end of the day  I couldn't find her attractive, given that she's very overweight,  on antidepressants,   has an obvious drinking problem and seems to lead an unhealthy lifestyle. Kind of a shock to realize  my options are limited to women  I can't be interested in.

Had this exact same thing happen to me recently. A chick I cannot find attractive in the slightest has been coming around, because I hired her to work on the farm. I don’t think she “LIKES ME” likes me, but she’s definitely showing me more attention than any woman ever has. It’s not that she’s not a nice girl. She’s sweet as can be, and I don’t mind her company, but I cannot find myself attracted to her. After work the other night, I jokingly said she should stay after work and play super nintendo with me, and she took it seriously. She ended up staying for quite a while. We didn’t do anything. I didn’t even touch her. Not sure what her deal is. But regardless, she’s a single mom, which earns her an immediate disqualification.

I look at women almost like cats. Only under very particular circumstances can they, quote-unquote, “love” you. But for the most part they are not geared towards being loving companions to men, nor seek companionship in itself. Men are seen/treated as disposable to women, and women can do without us emotionally, just like cats can do without human companions. Women can go along with the marital/relationship expectations of society so long as it secures them the resources and protection of a man. But if you were to remove or limit those resources and protection, you find that women don’t really need men in themselves. This is of course not true of all women, but it is generally true.

That’s what puts men at a disadvantage, because unlike women, we men base our entire world, our entire worth as human beings, on what women think of us. If women reject us, we don’t feel like worthy human beings who deserve to live. We seek women in/of themselves. It’s them that we want, not money or resources or protection. We just want them, and we want them to love us. But I don’t think women can be companions with men in that way. They simply don’t love us like we love them. Men in/of themselves don’t really matter much to women. This is so obvious too when you look at them, and observe their behavior in daily life. I see no compassion or empathy in their eyes. Just stone cold self-centeredness. It’s really no skin off their back if men are suffering, or feeling unloved or unwanted in a society that encourages women to reject relationships with them, reject family/children as “oppression/burden”, and run roughshod over men. Women seem to be handling that societal change just fine, not really having any second thoughts about it. Just like cats. They don’t really need you, unless the situation calls for it.

Who the hell are both of you to go around saying women are the cold, indifferent, superficial ones? Both of you are sitting here disqualifying women based on looks, medical history, and single mom status who have been nice to you and showed interest.

You're suggesting attraction play no part in it for us, presumably because we’re male and not allowed  preferences. Pretty unoriginal double standard there. I'd like to know where i said women were superficial for not  dating men they felt no attraction toward just because those men were friendly.  That's basically the reverse of the creepy entitled incel mindset.

 

[Bored]

Recently had a  friend of a friend come on to me. First bit of interest from a woman.  I like her as a  person,  but end of the day  I couldn't find her attractive, given that she's very overweight,  on antidepressants,   has an obvious drinking problem and seems to lead an unhealthy lifestyle. Kind of a shock to realize  my options are limited to women  I can't be interested in.

Had this exact same thing happen to me recently. A chick I cannot find attractive in the slightest has been coming around, because I hired her to work on the farm. I don’t think she “LIKES ME” likes me, but she’s definitely showing me more attention than any woman ever has. It’s not that she’s not a nice girl. She’s sweet as can be, and I don’t mind her company, but I cannot find myself attracted to her. After work the other night, I jokingly said she should stay after work and play super nintendo with me, and she took it seriously. She ended up staying for quite a while. We didn’t do anything. I didn’t even touch her. Not sure what her deal is. But regardless, she’s a single mom, which earns her an immediate disqualification.

I look at women almost like cats. Only under very particular circumstances can they, quote-unquote, “love” you. But for the most part they are not geared towards being loving companions to men, nor seek companionship in itself. Men are seen/treated as disposable to women, and women can do without us emotionally, just like cats can do without human companions. Women can go along with the marital/relationship expectations of society so long as it secures them the resources and protection of a man. But if you were to remove or limit those resources and protection, you find that women don’t really need men in themselves. This is of course not true of all women, but it is generally true.

That’s what puts men at a disadvantage, because unlike women, we men base our entire world, our entire worth as human beings, on what women think of us. If women reject us, we don’t feel like worthy human beings who deserve to live. We seek women in/of themselves. It’s them that we want, not money or resources or protection. We just want them, and we want them to love us. But I don’t think women can be companions with men in that way. They simply don’t love us like we love them. Men in/of themselves don’t really matter much to women. This is so obvious too when you look at them, and observe their behavior in daily life. I see no compassion or empathy in their eyes. Just stone cold self-centeredness. It’s really no skin off their back if men are suffering, or feeling unloved or unwanted in a society that encourages women to reject relationships with them, reject family/children as “oppression/burden”, and run roughshod over men. Women seem to be handling that societal change just fine, not really having any second thoughts about it. Just like cats. They don’t really need you, unless the situation calls for it.

Who the hell are both of you to go around saying women are the cold, indifferent, superficial ones? Both of you are sitting here disqualifying women based on looks, medical history, and single mom status who have been nice to you and showed interest.

You're suggesting attraction play no part in it for us, presumably because we’re male and not allowed  preferences. Pretty unoriginal double standard there. I'd like to know where i said women were superficial for not  dating men they felt no attraction toward just because those men were friendly.  That's basically the reverse of the creepy entitled incel mindset.   It's not something any of us can control so in the end it doesn't matter what you think.   But if you think it unreasonable go have *** with someone you aren’t attracted to then, or someone who's lifestyle is completely incompatible with yours.

There’s no double standard. You can’t control attractions or unattractive. But you can control how you present your thoughts. After reading some of your other posts, it doesn’t take a genius to put 2 and 2 together to know you have these “women are only looking for men who aren’t me” bologna thoughts. 

Also, your first thought (usually your worst gut instinct) should stick. Enough of this editing over and over again. I can’t even comment to words you’ve directed my way when you keep changing them to make yourself look better.

 

[ardour]

It's not like I said any of this to her, or go around making callous comments in women's faces. And I think I mentioned this was the first bit of interest I received from anyone in over 22 years of adult life.

 

[LostintheBardo]

I don't see that either of them are being cold in this situation unless we want to say that the majority of women are cold because they won't date a man shorter than them which I also don't think is cold.

 

[ITellYouHhwut]

I think women are cold not necessarily in the malicious sense, but in the non-self-aware sense. They simply don’t possess empathy for men. They just simply don’t operate under the same set of goals as men. They don’t see men as companions. They see them as means to an end. The end being reproduction and post-natal support/protection/resources. So women “select” men. There is no denying that women view men as mostly disposable, and truth be told, men are disposable. We are the ones vying for them, not the other way around. So women really don’t give much of a damn about men.

 

[Sci-Fi]

I think women are cold not necessarily in the malicious sense, but in the non-self-aware sense. They simply don’t possess empathy for men. They just simply don’t operate under the same set of goals as men. They don’t see men as companions. They see them as means to an end. The end being reproduction and post-natal support/protection/resources. So women “select” men. There is no denying that women view men as mostly disposable, and truth be told, men are disposable. We are the ones vying for them, not the other way around. So women really don’t give much of a damn about men.

Knock it off, you've already been warned that this kind of crap doesn't fly here.


This thread has gone off topic and with the more recent gender bias/bashing comments it is being closed.