Are You Just Playing Games Here To Avoid More Serious Chat

[Minus]

I can say without a doubt I am here for the more serious conversation. I also don't enjoy too much small talk and too much banter. Still trying to find a right balance to be honest.

But yeah, personally, I have noticed some threads don't get much replies or any sometimes especially if the poster isn't a regular. And this is purely based on my own observation (probably an unpopular one) certain posters get a lot more attention on their threads. Perhaps it's my own issue with feeling left out but it can seem a bit like a high school clique at times.

I don't doubt it at all. That seems to be common on forums and possibly other types of social media. My attention was drawn to it a number of years back on a different forum. I had made a post and it drew no notice at all. Nothing unusual.

A couple days later a different user posted the very same thing I had. There was not a comma or a periods difference between the two posts, yet theirs quickly drew a half dozen responses.

Since the only difference was the username posting it, it appears to me that is the draw for some people. Who know, while it is far from ideal, maybe it is to be expected.

 

[TheSkaFish]

you know… i’ll be honest… so many ppl randomly messaged me about you I got paranoid and thought you put them up to it its just not right. Glad you know this was happening.

I dont think i’ve always seen eye to eye with everyone but I am happy theres different types, before I read randomguys and Finished posts I think … prepare myself to laugh, Callie or Claudia brace yourself for some home truths or a frying pan? Lool Ska fish and Apexie something so intelligent it’ll fry my brainnn anddd everyone else what a lottery!

Awww. Thanks for the shout-out!

Sorry for the fried brains though!

 

[user 139760]

Yeah I regret coming back here and sharing my opinion now. Nothing to do with Callie disagreeing with my opinion. In fact I agree with the things she has said. It's just something I see happening time and time again in threads but I think I will keep it to myself and it will die with me. Time to leave again I guess. I'm fine on my own. In fact I am used to it!

I concur with what I've read here. I missed the grumpy cat.

 

[Claudia1794]

I tried talking about something serious and I was told to seek out some survivor support BS. I realized then that sad and lonely people are just as cold and self centered as me and most people.

 

[okidoke]

@Claudia1794 why is “survivor support” BS? I don’t know your situation but couldn’t have the comment been genuinely trying to give you some advice?

 

[Claudia1794]

@Claudia1794 why is “survivor support” BS? I don’t know your situation but couldn’t have the comment been genuinely trying to give you some advice?

Yes

 

[Finished]

I have frequent headaches. I have a bad one right now. Reading and really thinking about a response can be difficult to do sometimes. I also joke around a lot. So, I have to be careful with the way I word things so they don't come off as a joke when I'm trying to be serious. Lately I just want to type something fast and move on. But, I do try to comment on discussion threads as well.

 

[Unsigned]

@okidoke
I for one, have no issues whatsoever with serious talk.
Here ya go:
- I was treated lower than dirt and less then human by the kids in school from the 1st day of kindergarten till the day I graduated HS.
- I am an alcoholic
- I am a "whore chaser"
- On rare occasions I pop pills I have leftover from surgeries
- Never had a GF, never even been on a free date and never had a female I find attractive show 1 microgram of attraction towards me
- I know who/what I am and at least I don't subject others to my problems - I wish I could say the same about them...

 

[Abstamyous]

Whenever someone posts in the music thread, I fantasize about hanging out with them and just listening to great tunes. And I do think it's pretty cool people can keep up with the games, I'm usually too slow or can't think of anything to post. Certainly the less heavy part of the forum, which I think is just as important as the rest.

As for serious conversation, that's kind of died off for me. I've killed most of it myself, due to attachment issues and general disappointment. I live through other people's comments now, and often feel "you're damned if you do and you're damned if you don't." In general, I don't think people here are valued as a whole, and there's too much bickering. I had my time of being involved in that crappy vibe stuff, so you can take this as BS if you want.

I give it to the people who do keep it active, you give a lot to think about.

 

[TheSkaFish]

Whenever someone posts in the music thread, I fantasize about hanging out with them and just listening to great tunes.

I definitely get that

there's too much bickering. I had my time of being involved in that crappy vibe stuff

And this too. Sometimes I get so caught up in the bickering, anger at someone's worldview, that I forget my actual life - my actual problems, my actual desires, what's really important to me, for good or ill.

There have been times where I've gotten so caught up in arguing that it's like...I haven't had a conversation about something like my interests, or just something that isn't problems or stuff I hate, in months. I've neglected to see how people are doing, and to have enough that I'm doing, to say something interesting back. I realize that it's been a while since I've had a chat, just to chat.

I have to constantly remind myself of this to start to break the habit.

 

[Abstamyous]

I'd also like to add that I've done more comparing and complaining during conversations, than actual serious topics that could connect me to others. Its a work in progress, and certainly has me trying to avoid such rather than practicing on people who don't deserve that lol.

 

[Rohini]

I don't know..

For me it comes and goes - sometimes I like to discuss.. other times I like to play the games here and keep more to myself.. Just depends on my mood really. (oh and definitely enjoy the music thread... one of my favorites actually!)
I have to say though, I do feel a sense of comfort either way - when I'm just lollygagging around here in the wee hours of the AM and I can hop on and play 'keep one junk one" and see others playing too, I dunno, it almost feels comforting to me...

My 2 cents...

 

[user 139760]

Some people deal with loneliness in depression in different ways. For some, you feel the need to talk about it. For others, it's to think of something else. Still others will just ghost the forums and read us without engaging. Some are shy, some have major issues...frankly there are as many reasons as there are individuals in the world.
A lot of people are also put off by serious chatting on more difficult or personal topics. It's just the way they are wired. Everyone uses this place in a way they see fit. Participation isn't obligatory.

 

[user 190163]

I may not prefer playing or just reading, but I don't engage in deeper conversations mainly because of the realisation that words can be a powerful tool. They bring life, help, destroy and kill. Also, they can be pretty meaningless or accidentally hurtful if I don't really know someone or if I'm not known by someone. After all I'm more comfortable following others in silence.

 

[user 148069]

I don't doubt it at all. That seems to be common on forums and possibly other types of social media. My attention was drawn to it a number of years back on a different forum. I had made a post and it drew no notice at all. Nothing unusual.

A couple days later a different user posted the very same thing I had. There was not a comma or a periods difference between the two posts, yet theirs quickly drew a half dozen responses.

Since the only difference was the username posting it, it appears to me that is the draw for some people. Who know, while it is far from ideal, maybe it is to be expected.

Yes, that is unfortunately true for most social media. Perhaps I was hoping a bit more more from a loneliness forum but I guess people will be people. There was a poster here that I recalled who was in a dire situation, their posts didn't get many replies. This is my concern that posts like that just gets lost in all the noise. When I closed my account I didn't get to check on them if they are alright. If I can track the post down, I will try to bump it and hopefully they are still around to see it.

to @okidoke , @Richard_39, @TheRealCallie- thank you, I will try to hang around for a bit longer.

 

[ardour]

The irony of weaponizing one's own feelings to behave like a defacto mod and bully people out of a space. There's plenty of serious discussion.

 

[user 148069]

The irony of weaponizing one's own feelings to behave like a defacto mod and bully people out of a space. There's plenty of serious discussion. Some people just don't like some other people.

like twitter and tumblr you mean? I think I sort of get what you're trying to say but if you don't feel comfortable elaborating that is fine.
I hope that was not directed at me. I am very sorry for the last time I snapped at one of your posts.

 

[Minus]

Yes, that is unfortunately true for most social media. Perhaps I was hoping a bit more more from a loneliness forum but I guess people will be people. There was a poster here that I recalled who was in a dire situation, their posts didn't get many replies. This is my concern that posts like that just gets lost in all the noise.

Yes due to the nature of the forum it would be nice to see more involvement there though a number of us, while we sympathize, may feel that we have no wisdom or helpful advice to offer. On the other hand there is a small but fairly steady group that welcomes new people and helps them get oriented.

 

[okidoke]

I for one, have no issues whatsoever with serious talk.
Here ya go:
- I was treated lower than dirt and less then human by the kids in school from the 1st day of kindergarten till the day I graduated HS.
- I am an alcoholic
- I am a "whore chaser"
- On rare occasions I pop pills I have leftover from surgeries
- Never had a GF, never even been on a free date and never had a female I find attractive show 1 microgram of attraction towards me
- I know who/what I am and at least I don't subject others to my problems - I wish I could say the same about them...

I do feel for you. I've known a few people in your situation.

....... In general, I don't think people here are valued as a whole, and there's too much bickering. I had my time of being involved in that crappy vibe stuff, so you can take this as BS if you want.

That's unfortunate and a little disappointing considering I've just recently joined.

.........frankly there are as many reasons as there are individuals in the world.
A lot of people are also put off by serious chatting on more difficult or personal topics. It's just the way they are wired. Everyone uses this place in a way they see fit. Participation isn't obligatory.

For sure. I was just curious.

 

[Unsigned]

I do feel for you. I've known a few people in your situation.

Thanks.
I'm OK though.
There's much worse situations than mine.
I would have liked my life to have been different, but overall it's not unbearable.