Can't make a walnut tree produce oranges. *shrug*. Maybe some day, some one will want my nuts. LOL!!!!
If you want to feel better about being single and alone; you could do a youtube search for stories of men who have dated women with Border-line Personality Disorder. Seems to me it's on par with being psychologically tortured. Though, I'm sure none of that will help assuage the deep seated need for intimate emotional connection that both men and women have...
Society, as it is, right now, doesn't really give us a way to do this. Society basically either wants you dead, or in absolute service to it. It doesn't care what your needs are, or how you feel. If it did, they'd let you do drugs to ease the pain of your existence and they'd let you pay for companionship. The most successful relationships are built on monetary agreements. A high earning male with a female who likes to spend the money. These people get along, so long as they play by the rules of their roles. The male expects affection for his affection. And the female expects affection for her affection. And when two people can agree on that agreement and not break the contract, it's what you call a, 'happy marriage.' Marriage is a contract. It's history dates back to a time where women were of value to the family they were born into, precisely because of the dowry the family could get for their arrangement into a marriage. And in all honesty, I see no problem with arrangements like these, when they are mutually beneficial. I feel like a lot of lonely men AND women could benefit greatly from an arranged marriage (by some one who is SKILLED in doing so, not some ******* company who's interest is profit. A matchmaker should get paid for her services; but, that's a necessary side effect.). Imagine be matched with some one who is in the, 'ballpark,' of your physical appetite and also in the, 'ballpark,' of your mental and social temperment. That'd be ******* awesome! lol. Get a few dogs at that point and enjoy the game!
The problem we suffer from these days, is we want love. We want that, 'soul mate.' That some one who will complete us, or join us on our journey through life. That's hard. I do believe it happens; very, very rarely; and, even then, I'm sure it has it's challenges like all things. We also, or at least for me, don't know WHAT THE **** WE WANT! If two people who are very well matched, live next door to eachother; but, have no idea what they are looking for, and don't even know how to invite the other on a date, much less realize they need to be living together and watching Buffy The Vampire Slayer together, cuz they both love cheesy 90's culture; they are ******.
I guess my problem is, maybe, I'm too much of a goody two-shoes. I'm so convinced of my, 'goodness,' or, 'wanting to be good,' that I probably miss out on opportunities. Not that I think I need to be diabolical to achieve what I'm missing out in life. But, more so, that, I've never really learned how to tell a, 'good lie.' The kind of lie that can change some one's life for the better, and set them off in the right direction, without really, 'misleading,' them. Maybe I'm talking beyond my scope of experience, wisdom, or understanding; but, I guess I'm kind of soft. I don't think I used to be so soft. I used to be quite fearless and even fearsome at times.
However, going back to the previous paragraph's theme; I will elaborate. I paid a therapist for a few sessions a few years back. He ticked a lot of the right boxes as far as compatibility goes. We both seemed to have a profound understanding of certain things, albeit perhaps having gotten there and viewing that understanding a bit differently. However, it was clear to me that, he had arrived at much the same place, at some point, that I had arrived. Yet, I thought to myself, "Why does he get to have a 100$ an hour job, a wife, and kids," and I get to have heaps of suffering and live at home in my mid 30's? He was raised Mormon; but, at some point left that line of reasoning for things more like Buddhism, eastern thought, and non-theism. I had done the same thing, in my own way. I don't remember the question I asked him; but, the answer was that: he didn't tell his parents about leaving the Mormon faith. lol.
BASIC, SIMPLE, ****! If your parents aren't religiously tolerant, DON'T TELL THEM YOU'VE CHANGED FAITH! Or at the least, wait for it to slip out, once you are on your own and they can't control your life.
But me and this man had different life circumstances. What can be said about that? I was crippled in a way from the age of 12, so, I probably didn't stand a huge chance of escaping that. Maybe I did have an out, a few years later, and blew it, with my own mistakes; but, either way, every horse race has to have a winner. And ****, horse races are ******* fun! Never had a winning worse; but, damn, what a good time. Beer, if that's your thing. The element of uncertainty. Some risk, in more ways than one. Out doors. Fresh air. Horses! I mean, that's it.
But, I think, certain recipes, in life, like going to the races; need ingredients. You can go by yourself; but, if your lonely and depressed and shy, you'll probably just feel out of place. And, perhaps even worse, if you are comfortable going to the races by yourself, maybe you've got a gambling problem that's about to put you on the streets. But, with the right ingredients, the risks pay off, and in general, whether you win or lose, you get to have a good time...
As for me, I don't think I've the ingredients for anything more than sitting at home, wishing things were different. Instead of the fish owner, I'm the fish in the tank. But, nothing lasts forever... If my special some one was right in front of me, even on a daily basis, I'd probably be much too afraid to approach her. She would seem like a god, towering above me. She'd want to do things. She'd want to experience the world. And I'd be much too afraid of those things, much less, initiating the conversations necessary to start adventures.
I didn't used to have so many of the problems I've acquired recently. I don't like it.
Also, Bender22, I would wager, has some good points to make, and probably even advice to give (probably more so than my credit gives). As for me, I'm not really interested in, 'self-improvement.' I want the money; but don't want to put in the work to get it, or am convinced, rightly or wrongly, that the only way to get it, would go against my values. I do play the lotto here and there though, fortunately not as much anymore. Some guys are born into situations and born with natural talent to be skilled in the art of socializing and interacting with women. You do need practice. In your defense, though, I will say, society is against you on this one, and limits your access to practice with women; but, unfortunately, griping about the unfairnesses of life, is probably the least effective way at righting them, or getting the edge on them. I will say this, though; and, perhaps I'm wrong; but, some times, finding that, 'thing,' you are looking for, that connection, turns out to be the EASIEST thing you NEVER would have imagined. Like finding out the best chinese restuarant was literally two blocks away from you, and you just never knew it was there. The crap part about that is, you can't know what you don't know. The good part? Is, I think there is hope there.
Is it not a nice thought that the woman of your dreams, is some one you see at least once a week? You run into her quite often? She has noticed you before? OR She would notice you, if only you did something like change your attire up a bit, or, change your routine a bit? Or perhaps even, just have a happy accident that causes you both to be forced into a happy confrontation? When some one wants to tango, it's good to know how to dance up front!
I haven't seen nor heard another word from her since. Ha! ha! So, being repulsive to women has it's advantages. You can easily stop women from using you as a lopsided friend sponge. Just tell them you like them or are interested in them. They'll disappear very quickly. Then things can go back to being isolated and quite.
