Avoiding people - because of what they said

[MisterLonely]

IDK, are the people that you are avoiding ones you would come across on a regular basis?

No, but people that live within the neighborhood. Can't really predict when I will see them. Which causes more anxiety. Which I can do without.  

I wish I can simplfy all my issues and break it down to say its because...I DONT HAVE A LIFE.  and I wouldn't be entirely wrong. Just part of the puzzle.

You've talked a bit about obsessive behavior, and this for one I would say qualifies.. you might call it a symptom but I truly think it's part of the root of your problems, I wish I could tell youto do this or do that and you'll be "fixed" but noone can do that, you'll need to fix that for yourself.

I think you focus too much on the things you want right now and not enough on what needs to happen to actually be able to achieve what you want.

What about lack of sex life?

I can understand that can be frustrating, and allot of people have already given you allot of advice on the subject, I can not help you there because I'm not looking for meaningless sex, but even when looking for a "casual" hookup people don't just pick another person by the draw of a hat, they will ALWAYS look for someone that interests them, they find trustworthy, charming, goodlooking and who knows what else.

So again I would say that you're failure to find sexual release without having it involve your wallet stems from the deep-seated issues at your very core, the anxiety, the negative self-image and more.

You are treating your issues like it's a footrace, you're quick to start and cover the 100 meters like a pro, only to find out you're in a marathon at that point..... Treat life as a marathon, work up to reach your goal because it's not easy and it isn't for any of us! 
It take allot of hard work and preperation and even then you'll have to push yourself to reach the finish line!

 

[MisterLonely]

Some sick lady 2 years ago said her sister thought i was a guy wanted in bank for suspicious activity. Thought i was guy in photo. Looked nothing like me. Don't even know how her sister knows me she is like 60 this lady. Now how does her sister know me. I never liked this woman to begin with. Now I leary evry time I step outside I might run into her and it will set me back in a depressiiom and anxitey.

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I mean she is a despicable woman. But made things worse
After she said this

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So the guy in the photo looked nothing like you and this woman for whatever reason thought it was you? Ok, I'm trying to understand this. What you should have done instead of fretting over it and getting all worked up is wait for the next time you saw this woman and then inform her that it is time for her to get her eyes examined and after that to leave you the hell alone.

You said you don't like this woman and she is despicable. Keeping that in mind why -WHY- have you paid so much attention to her? And why for one second did you stop and listen to what she said and let her bother you? There are idiots like this all over the place. People who just can not help saying something about someone because they know that their words can hurt you. Laugh in her face the next time you see her and then go tell her to play in traffic.

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Thanks, shy. Thats great reasoning. But it all plays into issues with other topics I posted here. Such as...

 being confused with others, compared to others. Not meetting women. No outlets.  Sexual frustration to the boiling point. No real life people to vent on these issues I post here other than my brother. And he is getting burnt out hearing it. And repeating the same thing over and over. I gave a few reasons why these things seem to be so significant.  And that is just a few.  Yes. Weakness. Weak self-image. Identity..you name it. Do I really need a psychologist to tell me all what O said. I tthink we are own best psychologists 

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I'd just like to point it out to you that you talk about not having anyone to talk to besides your brother and then about not needing a psychologist in the very same post here...

I agree that we know ourselves better than any other out there, but we also lie to ourselves more than any other out there...  When it comes to the mind one thing I can guarantee you, it's very effective at fooling itself into thinking it's fine and everything and everyone else is at fault.

In some cases I'd think it wise to get a second opinion, in this case it wouldn't just be for yourself either, the relationship with your brother would also benefit from it a great deal, because if he does burn out are you going to blame him for not being there, and is he going to blame you for putting somuch pressure on him?

 

[Restless soul]

Some sick lady 2 years ago said her sister thought i was a guy wanted in bank for suspicious activity. Thought i was guy in photo. Looked nothing like me. Don't even know how her sister knows me she is like 60 this lady. Now how does her sister know me. I never liked this woman to begin with. Now I leary evry time I step outside I might run into her and it will set me back in a depressiiom and anxitey.

---

I mean she is a despicable woman. But made things worse
After she said this

---

So the guy in the photo looked nothing like you and this woman for whatever reason thought it was you? Ok, I'm trying to understand this. What you should have done instead of fretting over it and getting all worked up is wait for the next time you saw this woman and then inform her that it is time for her to get her eyes examined and after that to leave you the hell alone.

You said you don't like this woman and she is despicable. Keeping that in mind why -WHY- have you paid so much attention to her? And why for one second did you stop and listen to what she said and let her bother you? There are idiots like this all over the place. People who just can not help saying something about someone because they know that their words can hurt you. Laugh in her face the next time you see her and then go tell her to play in traffic.

---

Thanks, shy. Thats great reasoning. But it all plays into issues with other topics I posted here. Such as...

 being confused with others, compared to others. Not meetting women. No outlets.  Sexual frustration to the boiling point. No real life people to vent on these issues I post here other than my brother. And he is getting burnt out hearing it. And repeating the same thing over and over. I gave a few reasons why these things seem to be so significant.  And that is just a few.  Yes. Weakness. Weak self-image. Identity..you name it. Do I really need a psychologist to tell me all what O said. I tthink we are own best psychologists 

---

I'd just like to point it out to you that you talk about not having anyone to talk to besides your brother and then about not needing a psychologist in the very same post here...

I agree that we know ourselves better than any other out there, but we also lie to ourselves more than any other out there...  When it comes to the mind one thing I can guarantee you, it's very effective at fooling itself into thinking it's fine and everything and everyone else is at fault.

In some cases I'd think it wise to get a second opinion, in this case it wouldn't just be for yourself either, the relationship with your brother would also benefit from it a great deal, because if he does burn out are you going to blame him for not being there, and is he going to blame you for putting somuch pressure on him?

---

I hear you. I might consider a psychologist. But my brother is a smart guy and told me more than a psychologist would have said. And has been more helpful i think

 

[Restless soul]

If someone who comes to starbucks lets say once in a while.
And they say they always see you? Is that something to freak out over??

 

[MisterLonely]

If someone who comes to starbucks lets say once in a while.
And they say they always see you? Is that something to freak out over??

No, it means someone remembered you, if they come there once every week and you are always there when they come, it's true and nothing out of the ordinairy. Next time you see him/her say hi.

 

[MisterLonely]

Some sick lady 2 years ago said her sister thought i was a guy wanted in bank for suspicious activity. Thought i was guy in photo. Looked nothing like me. Don't even know how her sister knows me she is like 60 this lady. Now how does her sister know me. I never liked this woman to begin with. Now I leary evry time I step outside I might run into her and it will set me back in a depressiiom and anxitey.

---

I mean she is a despicable woman. But made things worse
After she said this

---

So the guy in the photo looked nothing like you and this woman for whatever reason thought it was you? Ok, I'm trying to understand this. What you should have done instead of fretting over it and getting all worked up is wait for the next time you saw this woman and then inform her that it is time for her to get her eyes examined and after that to leave you the hell alone.

You said you don't like this woman and she is despicable. Keeping that in mind why -WHY- have you paid so much attention to her? And why for one second did you stop and listen to what she said and let her bother you? There are idiots like this all over the place. People who just can not help saying something about someone because they know that their words can hurt you. Laugh in her face the next time you see her and then go tell her to play in traffic.

---

Thanks, shy. Thats great reasoning. But it all plays into issues with other topics I posted here. Such as...

 being confused with others, compared to others. Not meetting women. No outlets.  Sexual frustration to the boiling point. No real life people to vent on these issues I post here other than my brother. And he is getting burnt out hearing it. And repeating the same thing over and over. I gave a few reasons why these things seem to be so significant.  And that is just a few.  Yes. Weakness. Weak self-image. Identity..you name it. Do I really need a psychologist to tell me all what O said. I tthink we are own best psychologists 

---

I'd just like to point it out to you that you talk about not having anyone to talk to besides your brother and then about not needing a psychologist in the very same post here...

I agree that we know ourselves better than any other out there, but we also lie to ourselves more than any other out there...  When it comes to the mind one thing I can guarantee you, it's very effective at fooling itself into thinking it's fine and everything and everyone else is at fault.

In some cases I'd think it wise to get a second opinion, in this case it wouldn't just be for yourself either, the relationship with your brother would also benefit from it a great deal, because if he does burn out are you going to blame him for not being there, and is he going to blame you for putting somuch pressure on him?

---

I hear you. I might consider a psychologist. But my brother is a smart guy and told me more than a psychologist would have said. And has been more helpful i think

---

I'm not trying to tell you to go see a psychologist, but is this speculation or fact, because if you haven't tried how can you know?

 

[Restless soul]

So the guy in the photo looked nothing like you and this woman for whatever reason thought it was you? Ok, I'm trying to understand this. What you should have done instead of fretting over it and getting all worked up is wait for the next time you saw this woman and then inform her that it is time for her to get her eyes examined and after that to leave you the hell alone.

You said you don't like this woman and she is despicable. Keeping that in mind why -WHY- have you paid so much attention to her? And why for one second did you stop and listen to what she said and let her bother you? There are idiots like this all over the place. People who just can not help saying something about someone because they know that their words can hurt you. Laugh in her face the next time you see her and then go tell her to play in traffic.

Thanks, shy. Thats great reasoning. But it all plays into issues with other topics I posted here. Such as...

 being confused with others, compared to others. Not meetting women. No outlets.  Sexual frustration to the boiling point. No real life people to vent on these issues I post here other than my brother. And he is getting burnt out hearing it. And repeating the same thing over and over. I gave a few reasons why these things seem to be so significant.  And that is just a few.  Yes. Weakness. Weak self-image. Identity..you name it. Do I really need a psychologist to tell me all what O said. I tthink we are own best psychologists 

I'd just like to point it out to you that you talk about not having anyone to talk to besides your brother and then about not needing a psychologist in the very same post here...

I agree that we know ourselves better than any other out there, but we also lie to ourselves more than any other out there...  When it comes to the mind one thing I can guarantee you, it's very effective at fooling itself into thinking it's fine and everything and everyone else is at fault.

In some cases I'd think it wise to get a second opinion, in this case it wouldn't just be for yourself either, the relationship with your brother would also benefit from it a great deal, because if he does burn out are you going to blame him for not being there, and is he going to blame you for putting somuch pressure on him?

I hear you. I might consider a psychologist. But my brother is a smart guy and told me more than a psychologist would have said. And has been more helpful i think

I'm not trying to tell you to go see a psychologist, but is this speculation or fact, because if you haven't tried how can you know?

I have. Briefly a few mmonths back. Wasn't diggin it. 
Afterall you see sosomeone for what 40 min a week. Gets dull pretty fast

 

[MisterLonely]

I have. Briefly a few mmonths back. Wasn't diggin it. 
Afterall you see sosomeone for what 40 min a week. Gets dull pretty fast

It takes time to build up a trust relationship with any person, I can understand when one of the people in that relationship is taking money from the other just to be there it would get dull pretty fast indeed!

 

[Restless soul]

I have. Briefly a few mmonths back. Wasn't diggin it. 
Afterall you see sosomeone for what 40 min a week. Gets dull pretty fast

It takes time to build up a trust relationship with any person, I can understand when one of the people in that relationship is taking money from the other just to be there it would get dull pretty fast indeed!

Yes. Although there is insurance. But right now it comes down to how useful i feel it will be. This site here might be just as useful to ne honest

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With you and dr callie

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Almost a group therapy type of feel here. Which is good
Never been to group therapy but I can imagine

 

[MisterLonely]

I have. Briefly a few mmonths back. Wasn't diggin it. 
Afterall you see sosomeone for what 40 min a week. Gets dull pretty fast

It takes time to build up a trust relationship with any person, I can understand when one of the people in that relationship is taking money from the other just to be there it would get dull pretty fast indeed!

Yes. Although there is insurance. But right now it comes down to how useful i feel it will be. This site here might be just as useful to ne honest

---

With you and dr callie

---

Almost a group therapy type of feel here. Which is good
Never been to group therapy but I can imagine

---

---

I should start thinking of some exercises then! and you should start listening to us 

 

[Restless soul]

I have. Briefly a few mmonths back. Wasn't diggin it. 
Afterall you see sosomeone for what 40 min a week. Gets dull pretty fast

It takes time to build up a trust relationship with any person, I can understand when one of the people in that relationship is taking money from the other just to be there it would get dull pretty fast indeed!

Yes. Although there is insurance. But right now it comes down to how useful i feel it will be. This site here might be just as useful to ne honest

---

With you and dr callie

---

Almost a group therapy type of feel here. Which is good
Never been to group therapy but I can imagine

---

---

I should start thinking of some exercises then! and you should start listening to us 

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Well please do. I am all ears. Review my posts and I am sure you can come up with something. That would be greatly appreciated

 

[Restless soul]

Haven't seen callie here today. Maybe i missed her

 

[nibbysaurus]

If you check her profile, you'll see that she's currently on a forum vacation. Details are in other threads. Hope this helps

 

[Restless soul]

If you check her profile, you'll see that she's currently on a forum vacation. Details are in other threads. Hope this helps

Is that so? Lol. She has a status..real cute

 

[nibbysaurus]

um. She's been banned. She hasn't been here since Wednesday

 

[BeyondShy]

If you check her profile, you'll see that she's currently on a forum vacation. Details are in other threads. Hope this helps

Is that so? Lol. She has a status..real cute

I got news for you. Everyone has a status.

 

[Restless soul]

What is this facebook? Let me check her profile now I am curious

 

[MisterLonely]

Hey restless,

I have a nice little simple exercise for you if your up for it that is, since one off you phobia's is people comparing you too others (others you find unactractive) I think it might help you to compare yourself to others, and not just the people you find attractive either.

Take some time this week on a morning off your choosing and buy a newspaper or magazine, one with adds and articles so you'll have "normal" people in it and models, compare yourself to at least 5 off each, look for similarities and not actuall looks, things like shape of the mouth and nose, color of eyes and style off hair, coly straight. stick to features and not actually try to grade any off them.

Write down the number of similarities and keep them seperated between the "normal" people and the models.

I would be very suprised if it turned out youcouldn't findany similarities at all!

 

[Restless soul]

A girl on a dating site told me I look like a dark haired eminem.
I don't look any thing like him. In fact better looking. I have stated this issue in the past here. What do I do about it??

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I found that very insulting

 

[AmytheTemperamental]

Get off dating sites. You are too sensitive for them right now.