Being rejected hurts

[Hawx79]

This really cute girl was really nice to me but when i started to feel too attached to her, she distanced herself from me! And the feeling of being rejected is just plain horrible.
I hate the feeling and cant stand it, but remaining single is also painfull, its like a catch 22....
Before i met her i was actually satisfied alone, not happy but doing ok in life and now that i got a taste of what its like being loved i cant seem to stop longing for it.

Please someone help i feel so alone and hopeless at the moment, it is as if ill never be able to cope again with being single.

 

[kamya]

Its ok dood. There are other fishies.

I need to ask if you ever actually told her your feelings. If you didn't then it wasn't really a rejection. It still sucks but next time try to tell her.

 

[TheSolitaryMan]

This really cute girl was really nice to me but when i started to feel too attached to her, she distanced herself from me! And the feeling of being rejected is just plain horrible.
I hate the feeling and cant stand it, but remaining single is also painfull, its like a catch 22....
Before i met her i was actually satisfied alone, not happy but doing ok in life and now that i got a taste of what its like being loved i cant seem to stop longing for it.

Please someone help i feel so alone and hopeless at the moment, it is as if ill never be able to cope again with being single.

Mate, I feel the same. I really detest being single at the moment. It's not like I'm "single", it's more like I'm just lonely and there's no way out. Very sick of feeling unloved.

However, try and look on this positively. How exactly did she "distance" herself? It's entirely possible you were not "rejected" as you believe, she was merely not ready for a relationship or...well, there could be many, many reasons.

Right now there is a girl I'm sure liked me, but now she is also distancing herself, or at least being more distant than she used to be. She might be going out with someone else, though I'm not certain.

Does that mean she "rejected" me? Hell no! She still looks at me a lot, smiles, all that kind of stuff. She probably still likes me deep down, just for whatever reason she feels unable to show that right now and I'd feel awkward asking her about it.

This girl of yours probably really liked you and may still do, she's just got something going on in her life right now which does not make her ready for a commitment. Or she's not sure what sort of commitment she wants.

Long story short, do not worry about it. It will be something to do with her mindset that caused this, probably not anything with how you conducted yourself.

Just continue being nice to her if you see her, try to improve your friendship and see what happens over time. Patience, as hard as it may be, is the key I think.

 

[Arcane]

Everyone's been rejected, you aren't alone ...

 

[Ak5]

You were single before, rejection hurts, but it isn't the end.

The only thing you can do is remain confident for another girl.

 

[Hawx79]

You were single before, rejection hurts, but it isn't the end.

The only thing you can do is remain confident for another girl.

No i cant stand another rejection...And as painfull and sad as it is for me, i need to accept ill be single forever, i wont be searching for someone however i will keep an open attitude towards it in case some girl may make the first move one me which is extremely unlikely.

 

[Ak5]

What you gotta accept is that rejection happens and it isn't the end. Take a break for a while, relax.

It might seem like it's impossible but it really isn't.

 

[TheSolitaryMan]

i need to accept ill be single forever

Thinking like this becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.

I feel like I'll be single forever right now, that doesn't mean I have to start thinking that I will be. As AK said, take a break from looking for a relationship for a month or two and then try again.

What's so bad about rejection to you anyway? It's not like you've "failed" in any way. Try not to get so attached to people before you truly know them.

 

[Hawx79]

What's so bad about rejection to you anyway? It's not like you've "failed" in any way. Try not to get so attached to people before you truly know them.

Thanks that is very good advice but to me she was the one i was truly in love with and now it feels ive been abandoned and amputated of a body part.

 

[TheSolitaryMan]

What's so bad about rejection to you anyway? It's not like you've "failed" in any way. Try not to get so attached to people before you truly know them.

Thanks that is very good advice but to me she was the one i was truly in love with and now it feels ive been abandoned and amputated of a body part.

Think though - how well did you really know her?

Did she lie with you watching a film and fall asleep in your arms? Did you sit together and watch the stars? Did you ever share a passionate kiss? Ever make love?

I'm not saying these things to make it hurt more, believe me I understand how it can feel. But I expect the answer to all those things is no.

This means that you did not "love" her. You simply had a strong attraction to her looks and her personality - something which I can guarantee you will feel towards other girls in the future at some point.

The exact same thing has happened to me recently. I spent 6 months finding a girl very attractive, but I did not ask her out. Now I'm not in a position to, whether she likes me or not.

I built up this thing in my head that she was really incredible and everything, but in fact it wasn't like I knew her that well. I still don't know her that well. It was mostly my mind's extrapolation from what I saw of her day to day.

It hurt for a while, but logically, I was never close to her when you think about it. Just as you were never technically close to this girl.

My sincere advice to you would be to try and stay detached a bit and not form these deep feelings for someone before you have them on your sofa, sat next to you or sleeping in your bed! That's the time when you can really open up your liking for someone and start to "love" them.

Any time before that asks for that horrible hollow feeling when you realise that the progress with the girl is not as advanced as your feelings.

I hope you feel better soon, I'm sure you will with time

 

[Hawx79]

TheSolitaryMan, you seem to know exactly what im going thru, thanks.