Big Girls

[VanillaCreme]

Too bad women don't like big guys....

True, I think it would be pretty hard to find a female chubby chaser.

Ive dated my share of bigger guys. Seriously....not all women discount a guy if he's carrying extra weight.

Agree, Eve, and I'm one of them myself. We don't like bigger dudes? That's all I've ever wanted. Something about them is just so... warm.

 

[Doubt The Rabbit]

Too bad women don't like big guys....

True, I think it would be pretty hard to find a female chubby chaser.

Ive dated my share of bigger guys. Seriously....not all women discount a guy if he's carrying extra weight.

Agree, Eve, and I'm one of them myself. We don't like bigger dudes? That's all I've ever wanted. Something about them is just so... warm.

Actually I'd be more inclined to believe that more women overlook weight than men, to generalize a bit. Some women are drawn to the teddy bear appeal. I'd date a big guy as long as he measured up to the aforementioned independence, intelligence, personality, and *** drive. Also, he can't be offended by fat jokes if they're not aimed at him. I have a lot of them. And I'm fat. So I get to say them.


+points if he laughs with me.

 

[Trent]

Actually I'd be more inclined to believe that more women overlook weight than men, to generalize a bit. Some women are drawn to the teddy bear appeal. I'd date a big guy as long as he measured up to the aforementioned independence, intelligence, personality, and *** drive. Also, he can't be offended by fat jokes if they're not aimed at him. I have a lot of them. And I'm fat. So I get to say them.


+points if he laughs with me.

agreed. it is more socially acceptable for a girl to date a big guy than vice versa. look at all of the tv shows. it's always the balding older guy with forty to fifty pounds in his midsection sleeping with the younger, perfectly fit woman. this is society's acceptable standard.

i give kudos to women for likely being LESS wrapped up in appearances than men are. sure there are some "*******" out there who won't give you the time of day if you don't look like a male underwear model. but, by and large, this is NOT the norm.

if you've got personality and are sane, you are likely to get a date.

that being said, I LOVE THIS THREAD! woohoo!

 

[VanillaCreme]

if you've got personality and are sane, you are likely to get a date.

Sanity... I can't even say you have to have that... There are some days when I question if Jeremy has any sanity... That being said, sane or not, he can still fix things.

 

[Trent]

if you've got personality and are sane, you are likely to get a date.

Sanity... I can't even say you have to have that... There are some days when I question if Jeremy has any sanity... That being said, sane or not, he can still fix things.

i can fix things too. i think that earns me brownie points.

 

[LonelyInAtl]

if you've got personality and are sane, you are likely to get a date.

Based on personal experience, this is utter rubbish.

 

[Trent]

if you've got personality and are sane, you are likely to get a date.

Based on personal experience, this is utter rubbish.

the truth hurts, mate, and i'm sorry to go against your comfortable narrative.

your negative attitude is your problem, not your appearance.

i tended bar for quite a while, i watched fat dude after fat dude pick up HOT chicks all the time.

but these guys were go-getters, they were out there, they didn't hide indoors from the world complaining about the unfairness of life on the Internet.

i'm 6'4, 210 lbs, fairly buff and athletic, decent looking guy...

my GF of 12 years left me for a fat, unemployed dude off the Internet who has two kids he doesn't pay child support on...

the guy has "game" (verbal game, flirting, ability to connect, etc)

no one is denying that being overweight is a challenge that must be overcome or compensated for when searching for a mate.

what we are contesting is your contention that it is the ONLY factor and the ULTIMATE factor, like you say. if seems you are implying that NO women will give an overweight man a chance. and that is just simply not true and is an unfair generalization of an entire gender.

MY life experience proves the opposite of your claim. my ex walked away from a fit, employed, relatively successful man, who owned a nice home for a fat dude with absolutely nothing going for him. i must be the only person on earth this has happened to.

 

[roguewave]

It's true that many women (of all sizes) like bigger men. I have personally known a few girls who liked chubby guys. It's about the contrast and also feeling physically safer. Probably a lot of other reasons too. Be sure to keep yourself impeccably groomed, work on your character, hobbies, conversational skills, etc. You will attract people. You will.

 

[LonelyInAtl]

Oh, I know I have no "game" per se. Ever since college I was in relatively long relationships and never learned to flirt. I absolutely can not start up a conversation with a women I don't already know, plain and simple.

I've been on dating sites for about 18 months and have had a total of 4 dates, get almost no replies to emails I send, and never get unsolicited email from women. Since dating sites are pretty much visual only, there is really only one conclusion. I send email, a woman looks at my picture, and decides I'm unattractive and doesn't reply. If women on a dating site do this, women in the "real world" would be the same way. Hence, my opinion.

 

[roguewave]

Oh, I know I have no "game" per se. Ever since college I was in relatively long relationships and never learned to flirt. I absolutely can not start up a conversation with a women I don't already know, plain and simple.

I've been on dating sites for about 18 months and have had a total of 4 dates, get almost no replies to emails I send, and never get unsolicited email from women. Since dating sites are pretty much visual only, there is really only one conclusion. I send email, a woman looks at my picture, and decides I'm unattractive and doesn't reply. If women on a dating site do this, women in the "real world" would be the same way. Hence, my opinion.

I would challenge that conclusion. Women on a dating site are there because they haven't had luck finding a man in real life, or because, like you said, they are looking for a certain exterior. The latter group of people may or may not be there primarily for hook ups.
What is your profile like? If it's not loaded with interesting things about yourself then the only thing women will have to evaluate you by is your photo. Make sure you have tons of info about your hobbies, world view, likes and interests. Not just the generic "I like music" kind of thing. If you aren't already, try being more specific.

 

[VanillaCreme]

It's about the contrast and also feeling physically safer.

It's true, I do feel safer. But for me, it was more of, "You're fat. I'm fat. See you in the kitchen." Having things in common includes a variety of things, so why not be fat together...

 

[ajdass1]

Oh, I know I have no "game" per se. Ever since college I was in relatively long relationships and never learned to flirt. I absolutely can not start up a conversation with a women I don't already know, plain and simple.

I've been on dating sites for about 18 months and have had a total of 4 dates, get almost no replies to emails I send, and never get unsolicited email from women. Since dating sites are pretty much visual only, there is really only one conclusion. I send email, a woman looks at my picture, and decides I'm unattractive and doesn't reply. If women on a dating site do this, women in the "real world" would be the same way. Hence, my opinion.

I would challenge that conclusion. Women on a dating site are there because they haven't had luck finding a man in real life, or because, like you said, they are looking for a certain exterior. The latter group of people may or may not be there primarily for hook ups.
What is your profile like? If it's not loaded with interesting things about yourself then the only thing women will have to evaluate you by is your photo. Make sure you have tons of info about your hobbies, world view, likes and interests. Not just the generic "I like music" kind of thing. If you aren't already, try being more specific.

I don't think that's necessarily true. After all, you can hardly tell anything about a person's exterior from an online profile. Everybody picks their best photos and you can't tell anything like body language or how that person 'feels.' What do you get with a dating site? Lots of text, which isn't to do with exterior. And what they say is only part of it... you can also tell how they 'speak' from the tone in which they write.

Another thing. My female friends who've tried online dating have always been bombarded by creeps - the kind who'll only comment on cleavage, make gross sexual remarks, not even bother to read profiles, and often get verbally abusive when turned down even gently.

Disclaimer: I've never used a dating site, but everyone I know who has, has had these sorts of results. Only one person I know has had success but she had to wade through human offal to get there. On top of that they're quite worried about, you know, getting in an unsafe situation and being murdered or assaulted or whatnot.

And I really hope people don't act the same irl as they do online, because I shudder to think about all those kids on xbox live getting turned loose in the world. (They're bad enough as it is)

 

[LonelyInAtl]

What is your profile like? If it's not loaded with interesting things about yourself then the only thing women will have to evaluate you by is your photo. Make sure you have tons of info about your hobbies, world view, likes and interests. Not just the generic "I like music" kind of thing. If you aren't already, try being more specific.

Oh, it's very specific. Here is an excerpt

I enjoy all sorts of movies except Anime. Just never could get into those. My favorite genres of movies are (in no particular order) SciFi, Action, and Drama. Some of my top movies are Star Trek (all), Green Mile, and Shawshank Redmption.

I'm not a big fan of reality TV except for The Amazing Race and Hells Kitchen. Survivor just keeps recycling the same stuff. The only sitcom I really enjoy is The Big Bang Theory, but oh do I love that one. Some of my other preferred shows are CSI (all), Revenge, Falling Skies, Fringe, The Event, Californication, and Breaking Bad.

I love books in the style of Arthur C Clarke, Tom Clancy, John J Nance, Michael Crichton, and Steven King. A good friend turned me on to The Hunger Games series and I enjoyed it as well.

My true music love is 80s. Yes, I know that's the era of hair bands but I grew up with that. I also like the hard rock bands from that era. While most of my classmates were listening to Depeche Mode and Missing Persons, I was rocking to Judas Priest, Iron Maiden, Motley Crue, and Bon Jovi (before they went commercial). I also enjoy classic rock (Journey, REO, Stys, Foreigner, Stones, Rush), Blues, and some NEW country (not the twangy old stuff).

I enjoy a varied palette and prefer eating at indie restaurants instead of established chain restaurants. Not too big into Indian food, but maybe my only experience was at a not-so-good restaurant. Always open to new experiences as long as it's not something they would be serving on Survivor or Fear Factor. I am also a pretty accomplished grill master. There is nothing like a good bacon wrapped filet mignon with some grilled colored sweet peppers.

 

[putter65]

What is your profile like? If it's not loaded with interesting things about yourself then the only thing women will have to evaluate you by is your photo. Make sure you have tons of info about your hobbies, world view, likes and interests. Not just the generic "I like music" kind of thing. If you aren't already, try being more specific.

Very specific. Here is an excerpt.

Oh, it's very specific. Here is an excerpt

I enjoy all sorts of movies except Anime. Just never could get into those. My favorite genres of movies are (in no particular order) SciFi, Action, and Drama. Some of my top movies are Star Trek (all), Green Mile, and Shawshank Redmption.

I'm not a big fan of reality TV except for The Amazing Race and Hells Kitchen. Survivor just keeps recycling the same stuff. The only sitcom I really enjoy is The Big Bang Theory, but oh do I love that one. Some of my other preferred shows are CSI (all), Revenge, Falling Skies, Fringe, The Event, Californication, and Breaking Bad.

I love books in the style of Arthur C Clarke, Tom Clancy, John J Nance, Michael Crichton, and Steven King. A good friend turned me on to The Hunger Games series and I enjoyed it as well.

My true music love is 80s. Yes, I know that's the era of hair bands but I grew up with that. I also like the hard rock bands from that era. While most of my classmates were listening to Depeche Mode and Missing Persons, I was rocking to Judas Priest, Iron Maiden, Motley Crue, and Bon Jovi (before they went commercial). I also enjoy classic rock (Journey, REO, Stys, Foreigner, Stones, Rush), Blues, and some NEW country (not the twangy old stuff).

I enjoy a varied palette and prefer eating at indie restaurants instead of established chain restaurants. Not too big into Indian food, but maybe my only experience was at a not-so-good restaurant. Always open to new experiences as long as it's not something they would be serving on Survivor or Fear Factor. I am also a pretty accomplished grill master. There is nothing like a good bacon wrapped filet mignon with some grilled colored sweet peppers.

that's a good profile, women should be interested.

 

[LonelyInAtl]

that's a good profile, women should be interested.

Maybe if I was better in the looks department. And that's only about 1/2 of the profile so it's not just a "I like ***. I like music. Movies are fun" type of thing. Actually put a lot of thought into it and had it "reviewed" by some friends.

I doubt it really gets read a whole lot. Once they see the pictures they click "NEXT". LOL I wish they would let you see the web metrics about how long people spend on your profile page.

 

[VanillaCreme]

What is your profile like? If it's not loaded with interesting things about yourself then the only thing women will have to evaluate you by is your photo. Make sure you have tons of info about your hobbies, world view, likes and interests. Not just the generic "I like music" kind of thing. If you aren't already, try being more specific.

Very specific. Here is an excerpt.

Oh, it's very specific. Here is an excerpt

I enjoy all sorts of movies except Anime. Just never could get into those. My favorite genres of movies are (in no particular order) SciFi, Action, and Drama. Some of my top movies are Star Trek (all), Green Mile, and Shawshank Redmption.

I'm not a big fan of reality TV except for The Amazing Race and Hells Kitchen. Survivor just keeps recycling the same stuff. The only sitcom I really enjoy is The Big Bang Theory, but oh do I love that one. Some of my other preferred shows are CSI (all), Revenge, Falling Skies, Fringe, The Event, Californication, and Breaking Bad.

I love books in the style of Arthur C Clarke, Tom Clancy, John J Nance, Michael Crichton, and Steven King. A good friend turned me on to The Hunger Games series and I enjoyed it as well.

My true music love is 80s. Yes, I know that's the era of hair bands but I grew up with that. I also like the hard rock bands from that era. While most of my classmates were listening to Depeche Mode and Missing Persons, I was rocking to Judas Priest, Iron Maiden, Motley Crue, and Bon Jovi (before they went commercial). I also enjoy classic rock (Journey, REO, Stys, Foreigner, Stones, Rush), Blues, and some NEW country (not the twangy old stuff).

I enjoy a varied palette and prefer eating at indie restaurants instead of established chain restaurants. Not too big into Indian food, but maybe my only experience was at a not-so-good restaurant. Always open to new experiences as long as it's not something they would be serving on Survivor or Fear Factor. I am also a pretty accomplished grill master. There is nothing like a good bacon wrapped filet mignon with some grilled colored sweet peppers.

that's a good profile, women should be interested.

You wouldn't exactly know that unless you were a woman. But thanks for telling us who we would be interested in.

Anyway... Honestly, I read that, and it felt like I was reading stats. As if I were listening to Mike and Mike, and they were posting stats of a player. To me - and you can take this any which way you decide - it shouldn't feel like I'm reading to know about you. To me, it should be casual, and that is not casual. Learning all the shows you like and all the music you like and whatnot is something you learn as you get to know someone. It's almost like a monotonousness list of who you are. Very robotic.

And like I said, you can take that any which way you want. That's just my thought, as a woman reading it, what it's like. I'm certain not all women would read that and think the same. It's very possible for someone to read that and think that they have a lot in common with you.

 

[Trent]

everybody should take it easy on the OP

he's just uber-excited to realize he likes bootylicious women

i remember that realization too

it was kind of like coming out of the closet

you just wanted to shout:

I LOVE ****S AND BUTTS! I LOVE BIG ****S AND BIG BUTTS EVEN MORE! COME AT ME, WORLD! I AM UNAFRAID!

 

[LonelyInAtl]

Anyway... Honestly, I read that, and it felt like I was reading stats. As if I were listening to Mike and Mike, and they were posting stats of a player. To me - and you can take this any which way you decide - it shouldn't feel like I'm reading to know about you. To me, it should be casual, and that is not casual. Learning all the shows you like and all the music you like and whatnot is something you learn as you get to know someone. It's almost like a monotonousness list of who you are. Very robotic.

Eh, not like anyone ever gets that far anyway.

 

[Parabolani]

everybody should take it easy on the OP

he's just uber-excited to realize he likes bootylicious women

i remember that realization too

it was kind of like coming out of the closet

you just wanted to shout:

I LOVE ****S AND BUTTS! I LOVE BIG ****S AND BIG BUTTS EVEN MORE! COME AT ME, WORLD! I AM UNAFRAID!

Wow someone remembered what this thread was about.

 

[LonelyInAtl]

so why not be fat together...

Because some people reach a point in their life and say "**** this".

I reached that point shortly before my divorce. I've lost over 100 lbs, my resting heart rate is 65-70, My LDL is 120, HDL is 80, and BP is around 125/85. My doctor has told me that I'm in better physical health than many of the "healthy LOOKING" people that he sees.