Big Girls

[putter65]

What is your profile like? If it's not loaded with interesting things about yourself then the only thing women will have to evaluate you by is your photo. Make sure you have tons of info about your hobbies, world view, likes and interests. Not just the generic "I like music" kind of thing. If you aren't already, try being more specific.

Very specific. Here is an excerpt.

Oh, it's very specific. Here is an excerpt

I enjoy all sorts of movies except Anime. Just never could get into those. My favorite genres of movies are (in no particular order) SciFi, Action, and Drama. Some of my top movies are Star Trek (all), Green Mile, and Shawshank Redmption.

I'm not a big fan of reality TV except for The Amazing Race and Hells Kitchen. Survivor just keeps recycling the same stuff. The only sitcom I really enjoy is The Big Bang Theory, but oh do I love that one. Some of my other preferred shows are CSI (all), Revenge, Falling Skies, Fringe, The Event, Californication, and Breaking Bad.

I love books in the style of Arthur C Clarke, Tom Clancy, John J Nance, Michael Crichton, and Steven King. A good friend turned me on to The Hunger Games series and I enjoyed it as well.

My true music love is 80s. Yes, I know that's the era of hair bands but I grew up with that. I also like the hard rock bands from that era. While most of my classmates were listening to Depeche Mode and Missing Persons, I was rocking to Judas Priest, Iron Maiden, Motley Crue, and Bon Jovi (before they went commercial). I also enjoy classic rock (Journey, REO, Stys, Foreigner, Stones, Rush), Blues, and some NEW country (not the twangy old stuff).

I enjoy a varied palette and prefer eating at indie restaurants instead of established chain restaurants. Not too big into Indian food, but maybe my only experience was at a not-so-good restaurant. Always open to new experiences as long as it's not something they would be serving on Survivor or Fear Factor. I am also a pretty accomplished grill master. There is nothing like a good bacon wrapped filet mignon with some grilled colored sweet peppers.

that's a good profile, women should be interested.

You wouldn't exactly know that unless you were a woman. But thanks for telling us who we would be interested in.

Anyway... Honestly, I read that, and it felt like I was reading stats. As if I were listening to Mike and Mike, and they were posting stats of a player. To me - and you can take this any which way you decide - it shouldn't feel like I'm reading to know about you. To me, it should be casual, and that is not casual. Learning all the shows you like and all the music you like and whatnot is something you learn as you get to know someone. It's almost like a monotonousness list of who you are. Very robotic.

And like I said, you can take that any which way you want. That's just my thought, as a woman reading it, what it's like. I'm certain not all women would read that and think the same. It's very possible for someone to read that and think that they have a lot in common with you.

well done Vanillacreme, your on my ignore list !
You are not a very nice person !

 

[Trent]

she's right

no one wants to read an in-depth analysis (stats) of your every dislike, like, and "favorite" thing in life

they want the cliff's notes

the highlights

a little allure

come on yall, this is about attraction

what part of that screams "appealing"?

should a woman be appealed by your like or dislike of a particular tv show?

lol

 

[theraab]

A few months ago I was on eharmony and I had a fair number of women make first contact (something like 27 or 28) - I am not a particularly good looking guy (I'm not ugly either, I'm average looking) - I'm putting this here so that you (ATL) can see how it is different from yours - notice that it is not just a list of things I like - hopefully this helps. The layout of the profile is different on eharmony but here is what I had:

In my own words
The one thing I am most passionate about:
I love solving puzzles, whether it is an actual game-like puzzle (such as a crossword), or figuring out how something works so that I can fix it, or troubleshooting the computers at work when they have problems (which, although not my job, somehow always becomes my job).
The most important thing I am looking for in a person is:
Sincerity - at least you always know where you stand, and how they feel with someone who is sincere.
The most influential person in my life has been:
My older brother Andrew - we have always been there for each other. When one of us has hit a tough spot in their life, the other one is there.
The three things which I am most thankful for:
My family
The opportunities I have had in my life
My health
Three of my best life-skills are:
Making improvements and repairs around the house
Remaining calm yet resilient during a crisis
Finding pleasure and contentment in simple things
The things I can't live without are:
My dog Maggie
My tools
My golf clubs
There isn't much I can't live without.
The first thing people notice about me:
Probably my voice - it is sometimes loud (although I usually am mindful of this). It is loud enough that I once used it to stop a guy from mugging someone.
A little more about me:
I think you can get a pretty good sense of who I am from what is here. If you think we might be happier together than apart, then contact me. If not, that's fine too, I hope you find what you're looking for.
My interests
I typically spend my leisure time:
Playing golf; watching movies; watching football; woodworking; I also like silly little things that I used to think were so corny like sipping hot apple cider when it is just starting to get cold in the fall and making gingerbread houses for Christmas and picnics in Spring and things like that - these things sound pretty nice at this point in my life - if these kinds of things sound good to you too, send me a message.
The last book I read and enjoyed:
I read a book on cuckoo clock repair.

 

[roguewave]

Oh, I know I have no "game" per se. Ever since college I was in relatively long relationships and never learned to flirt. I absolutely can not start up a conversation with a women I don't already know, plain and simple.

I've been on dating sites for about 18 months and have had a total of 4 dates, get almost no replies to emails I send, and never get unsolicited email from women. Since dating sites are pretty much visual only, there is really only one conclusion. I send email, a woman looks at my picture, and decides I'm unattractive and doesn't reply. If women on a dating site do this, women in the "real world" would be the same way. Hence, my opinion.

I would challenge that conclusion. Women on a dating site are there because they haven't had luck finding a man in real life, or because, like you said, they are looking for a certain exterior. The latter group of people may or may not be there primarily for hook ups.
What is your profile like? If it's not loaded with interesting things about yourself then the only thing women will have to evaluate you by is your photo. Make sure you have tons of info about your hobbies, world view, likes and interests. Not just the generic "I like music" kind of thing. If you aren't already, try being more specific.

I don't think that's necessarily true. After all, you can hardly tell anything about a person's exterior from an online profile. Everybody picks their best photos and you can't tell anything like body language or how that person 'feels.' What do you get with a dating site? Lots of text, which isn't to do with exterior. And what they say is only part of it... you can also tell how they 'speak' from the tone in which they write.

Another thing. My female friends who've tried online dating have always been bombarded by creeps - the kind who'll only comment on cleavage, make gross sexual remarks, not even bother to read profiles, and often get verbally abusive when turned down even gently.

Disclaimer: I've never used a dating site, but everyone I know who has, has had these sorts of results. Only one person I know has had success but she had to wade through human offal to get there. On top of that they're quite worried about, you know, getting in an unsafe situation and being murdered or assaulted or whatnot.

And I really hope people don't act the same irl as they do online, because I shudder to think about all those kids on xbox live getting turned loose in the world. (They're bad enough as it is)

I'm not sure why you picked apart my sentence to make it seem like I was saying that most women are on dating sites for superficial reasons. The first part of my sentence was me saying that a lot of women are on dating sites because they haven't been able to find a mate the old fashioned way, by being out and about in their every day lives.

With that said, dated sites are inarguably, HIGHLY visual dating aids.
And yes, you can tell a LOT about a person by their exterior. The outside is an advertisement for what is going on inside. Each and every article of clothing, every accessory, every enhancement (makeup, highlights, etc), and the lack of all of these things as well, makes a statement about their culture and frame of mind on that particular day [undefined=undefined]or the image they want you to see[/undefined]. If I am going around in sweats it communicates "I'm low key." If it's workout gear "I'm into fitness." If it's a ruffled dress, "I'm cute and feminine." If it's a suit "I'm invested in my career and and have business aspirations." [undefined=undefined]These messages may or may not reflect the actual feelings/personality of the person but it doesn't matter. Every exterior can be translated into a verbal description of the personality that the individual wishes to portray. [/undefined]
I also think that body language in photos is very revealing of a persons state of mind or of the state of mind they wish to project, even if they select their best photos.

 

[Trent]

excited to see this thread is still alive!

[youtube]VMnjF1O4eH0[/youtube]

 

[roguewave]

What is your profile like? If it's not loaded with interesting things about yourself then the only thing women will have to evaluate you by is your photo. Make sure you have tons of info about your hobbies, world view, likes and interests. Not just the generic "I like music" kind of thing. If you aren't already, try being more specific.

Oh, it's very specific. Here is an excerpt

I enjoy all sorts of movies except Anime. Just never could get into those. My favorite genres of movies are (in no particular order) SciFi, Action, and Drama. Some of my top movies are Star Trek (all), Green Mile, and Shawshank Redmption.

I'm not a big fan of reality TV except for The Amazing Race and Hells Kitchen. Survivor just keeps recycling the same stuff. The only sitcom I really enjoy is The Big Bang Theory, but oh do I love that one. Some of my other preferred shows are CSI (all), Revenge, Falling Skies, Fringe, The Event, Californication, and Breaking Bad.

I love books in the style of Arthur C Clarke, Tom Clancy, John J Nance, Michael Crichton, and Steven King. A good friend turned me on to The Hunger Games series and I enjoyed it as well.

My true music love is 80s. Yes, I know that's the era of hair bands but I grew up with that. I also like the hard rock bands from that era. While most of my classmates were listening to Depeche Mode and Missing Persons, I was rocking to Judas Priest, Iron Maiden, Motley Crue, and Bon Jovi (before they went commercial). I also enjoy classic rock (Journey, REO, Stys, Foreigner, Stones, Rush), Blues, and some NEW country (not the twangy old stuff).

I enjoy a varied palette and prefer eating at indie restaurants instead of established chain restaurants. Not too big into Indian food, but maybe my only experience was at a not-so-good restaurant. Always open to new experiences as long as it's not something they would be serving on Survivor or Fear Factor. I am also a pretty accomplished grill master. There is nothing like a good bacon wrapped filet mignon with some grilled colored sweet peppers.

I agree with Vanilla in that it reads somewhat robotic, but I don't think that's necessarily a bad thing. Especially if the relationship you are looking for is one based on shared/similar interests. Since that is the type of relationship I am looking for (one in which we can actually do things together), I think it's a great profile. For a woman who wants to be romanced, she might not find it too enticing but for me, I just want someone who shares my interests. If that's you as well, then your profile seems perfectly suited to attract the type of mate you are looking for.

 

[LonelyInAtl]

I agree with Vanilla in that it reads somewhat robotic, but I don't think that's necessarily a bad thing. Especially if the relationship you are looking for is one based on shared/similar interests. Since that is the type of relationship I am looking for (one in which we can actually do things together), I think it's a great profile. For a woman who wants to be romanced, she might not find it too enticing but for me, I just want someone who shares my interests. If that's you as well, then your profile seems perfectly suited to attract the type of mate you are looking for.

Well, I'm looking for both a guess. Someone with common interests who wants to be romanced. I was raised to treat all women like ladies and learned proper etiquette at a young age. I like doing little things like stopping and picking flowers to bring to a woman, leaving little notes in unexpected places, and the "proper" things like opening doors, pulling our chairs, taking the shawl/coat, etc.

 

[roguewave]

I agree with Vanilla in that it reads somewhat robotic, but I don't think that's necessarily a bad thing. Especially if the relationship you are looking for is one based on shared/similar interests. Since that is the type of relationship I am looking for (one in which we can actually do things together), I think it's a great profile. For a woman who wants to be romanced, she might not find it too enticing but for me, I just want someone who shares my interests. If that's you as well, then your profile seems perfectly suited to attract the type of mate you are looking for.

Well, I'm looking for both a guess. Someone with common interests who wants to be romanced. I was raised to treat all women like ladies and learned proper etiquette at a young age. I like doing little things like stopping and picking flowers to bring to a woman, leaving little notes in unexpected places, and the "proper" things like opening doors, pulling our chairs, taking the shawl/coat, etc.

If you want both then you're off to a good start but you might want to get someone to edit it so it reads more smoothly. It's really hard to write a profile about yourself without starting most of the sentences with "I" (it's about you after all), but eliminating the "I" will make it more cohesive and smooth. If you are interested in romancing women then definitely add something to your profile to express that.
I don't know if any of these statements apply to you but they are just examples:
"I had a traditional upbringing and am looking for a lady who still enjoys letting a gentleman take her coat."
"Old-fashioned etiquette still resonates with me and I am looking for a lady who is looking to be with a gentleman."

Those are probably horrible but you get the idea. If you like my examples feel free to use them. I'll even take a shot at editing your profile if you are comfortable and think that I could help. You wouldn't have to use any of it of course if you didn't like it. I wouldn't be offended.

 

[SophiaGrace]

I agree with Vanilla in that it reads somewhat robotic, but I don't think that's necessarily a bad thing. Especially if the relationship you are looking for is one based on shared/similar interests. Since that is the type of relationship I am looking for (one in which we can actually do things together), I think it's a great profile. For a woman who wants to be romanced, she might not find it too enticing but for me, I just want someone who shares my interests. If that's you as well, then your profile seems perfectly suited to attract the type of mate you are looking for.

Well, I'm looking for both a guess. Someone with common interests who wants to be romanced. I was raised to treat all women like ladies and learned proper etiquette at a young age. I like doing little things like stopping and picking flowers to bring to a woman, leaving little notes in unexpected places, and the "proper" things like opening doors, pulling our chairs, taking the shawl/coat, etc.

Why the heck aren't you married yet?

 

[VanillaCreme]

so why not be fat together...

Because some people reach a point in their life and say "**** this".

I reached that point shortly before my divorce. I've lost over 100 lbs, my resting heart rate is 65-70, My LDL is 120, HDL is 80, and BP is around 125/85. My doctor has told me that I'm in better physical health than many of the "healthy LOOKING" people that he sees.

It's not about being fat in itself...

 

[TheSkaFish]

she's right

no one wants to read an in-depth analysis (stats) of your every dislike, like, and "favorite" thing in life

they want the cliff's notes

the highlights

a little allure

come on yall, this is about attraction

what part of that screams "appealing"?

should a woman be appealed by your like or dislike of a particular tv show?

Idk, maybe? I get how it sounds robotic and "stat-like", but if they see that you both really like the same thing, if the same thing makes you feel strong positive emotions and you see and appreciate the same qualities in something, you know that you at least have some starting point, some basis for talking. To me, I think that maybe you can start bonding over liking the same thing, having someone to share that enthusiasm with, and then gradually move from connecting over the tastes you like, to the things you like about each other. That makes sense to me, but it hasn't worked for me yet.

As for the allure stuff, that's what I've been saying all along - that attitude/view/personality isn't second nature to everyone. Not everyone is good at being witty or smooth-talk, not everyone has the instincts for it or naturally thinks like that, or has had lives that would cause them to view and respond to life that way. For me, that kind of talk is a little too close to a sense of smug superiority for my tastes, which I don't have the instincts for, or had the life experiences to make me view life that way.

---

Back on topic. I may have mentioned this at some point, but my favorite model (Lucy Collett/Vixen) is a big girl. I actually thought she was at her hottest, when she was at her biggest size. I don't know, I've always been drawn to chubby girls even since I was in my young teens, way before body acceptance was a thing like it is now. At some point I might have thought it was strange, but it's been pretty consistent over time - plus sized, full figured women are where it's at for me. I'm not a feeder-ist or anything weird like that - it's more like, a thick hourglass figure with big, soft curves, a fluffy stomach, and a cute round face turns me on like no other - especially confident, sexually aggressive chubby girls - I think my eyes would bug out and tongue would roll out of my mouth like that one cartoon wolf (that is just hotness though, just my physical fantasy - I could still find shy girls attractive in an endearing way, which I think counts for more emotionally). I do have upper weight limits at some point, but there's a range of body types I find hot, from simply curvy, up to and including what most would definitely consider big girls.

But, health and safety first. I'd never encourage someone to take up anything unhealthy just to turn me on, that's crazy. Anyway, yeah that's just how I feel about it.

 

[Aardra]

you are adept at the are of thread necromancy

please teach me

 

[Abstamyous]

^ he told you how the last time you posted that.

It's a forum with a billion different topics. Thank goodness someone is taking interest. Thanks Ska! The place gets pretty dull without your work.

 

[TheSkaFish]

^ he told you how the last time you posted that.

It's a forum with a billion different topics. Thank goodness someone is taking interest. Thanks Ska! The place gets pretty dull without your work.

No problem.  Now if only they would pay me for it!  

But really though, idk why people don't like reviving old threads, whether it's here or other places.  To me, if you don't have something so different to say that you feel like starting a thread from the ground up, it makes more sense to add to an existing thread.

 

[theablekingathelstan]

Why do I love big girls? eg. Samantha 38g.
If you have any thoughts, opinions, ideas ect on the subject of BBW's please post.

There is a bias against fat people in dating. But it’s not an absolute bias. People of all sizes can date or

 

[theablekingathelstan]

most of the population in Western society is overweight.
And a large proportion of them are married.
So there is hope out there.

 

[ardour]

Of course there's bias, but not only because of cultural conditioning as fat activists and the woke like to shout in everyone faces. We're hardwired to look for the biologically healthy norm in a partner...because fertility, and that won't change.

Yes of course everyone deserves a minimum of decency and respect, but if someone feels they can't date because of that then the course of action is obvious, and it's baffling that they would rather remain overweight, complain and politicize it rather than do something about it. If only other problems were as simple to address at that one.