Can men and women actually "romantically" bond with each other?

[CactusMonster]

[font=Arial,Verdana,helvetica]Generally women are even more social than men. After something bad happens a woman quickly rushes to talk to all of her female friends to get support where as a male can isolate himself and grief alone.[/font]

[font=Helvetica,Arial,Verdana,sans-serif]I don't believe that romance love between a man and woman exists. I honestly can't see how a man and a woman could actually have a special type of bond with each other. Women tend to be more emotional than men are, and thus bond more with other women in a special way that they can't with men. Men on the other hand are not that emotional, and thus can't bond with other men in a special way.[/font]

[font=Helvetica,Arial,Verdana,sans-serif]Like in general women are more comfortable in being around with other women than they are with men. They have a type of bond that usually men with women won't really have, or with men and men. Women are very unique creatures, and tbh women feel a lot safer in general with other women than they do with men if either are alone with each other. I believe it is easier for women to trust other women more than it is to trust a man. Women in general are very sociable with each other, so if something goes wrong they like to speak about it to each other. This is a way to develop trust among women. Women often relate their problems with other women which makes them feel more connected in a way.[/font]

[font=Helvetica,Arial,Verdana,sans-serif]There is an old saying that is "girls always have to stick together".[/font]

[font=Helvetica,Arial,Verdana,sans-serif]So how can a man and woman have a special type of bond with each other if women have a special type of bond with each other while men don't?[/font]

[font=Helvetica,Arial,Verdana,sans-serif]So if what I'm saying is true, then it would explain why so many men and women couples break up or have a divorce in today's society[/font]


[font=Arial,Verdana,helvetica]The friendship of males and females can hardly be as good as a female to female relationship from a woman's point of view.[/font]

Also men and women are both mentally and physically different from each other, so that makes it harder for me to see how they could have a special bond with each other.

 

[ardour]

Emotional intimacy is different in romantic relationships because the bond is conditional on each party remaining attracted to the other (at least up until middle age). On top of that there are restrictive gender roles at play here. In order to be attractive a man must remain confident and masculine most of the time ( 'hold frame' in PUA/Red Pill speak), which allows him a lot less room to lean on his partner than he might a friend or relative. You'll never be able to trust a partner the same way you could a lifelong friend, it's a different kind of thing.

As for men and women just being platonic friends, we're not so different that it's impossible.

 

[Bored]

I don’t necessarily agree. One of my best friends is male. I’ve always been far more comfortable and open with him than I have with any other friend. Yes, most females typically have more open hearted conversations. And yes, that could involve some internal wiring.  But many men are capable of being emotional. And some females don’t enjoy emotionally driven conversations. Society has played a role in these stereotypes but I’d like to think we’ve gotten passed assigning emotional depth at birth.

I wouldn’t be too quick to generalize.

And as far as platonic Vs. romantic relationships go: The male friend I’ve referred to above would be everything I could hope for in a romantic partnership if he was interested. He’s not hyper masculine and very much in touch with our emotional bond. For me it would actually be easier if he was a little more caveman because then maybe I could just be his friend instead of wanting more.

 

[Sci-Fi]

Emotional intimacy is different in romantic relationships because the bond is conditional on each party remaining attracted to the other (at least up until middle age). On top of that there are restrictive gender roles at play here. In order to be attractive a man must remain confident and masculine most of the time ( 'hold frame' in PUA/Red Pill speak), which allows him a lot less room to lean on his partner than he might a friend or relative. You'll never be able to trust a partner the same way you could a lifelong friend, it's a different kind of thing.

As for men and women just being platonic friends, we're not so different that it's impossible.

Would you just stop with this kind of crap. It's all you ever do, you flock to these threads and constantly take shots at women and cling to your ancient views of masculinity. Knock it off.

 

[Xpendable]

Or just close the thread as usual. Are you ever going to learn anything?

 

[Puddled Duck]

[font=Arial,Verdana,helvetica]Generally women are even more social than men. After something bad happens a woman quickly rushes to talk to all of her female friends to get support where as a male can isolate himself and grief alone.[/font]

[font=Helvetica,Arial,Verdana,sans-serif]I don't believe that romance love between a man and woman exists. I honestly can't see how a man and a woman could actually have a special type of bond with each other. Women tend to be more emotional than men are, and thus bond more with other women in a special way that they can't with men. Men on the other hand are not that emotional, and thus can't bond with other men in a special way.[/font]

[font=Helvetica,Arial,Verdana,sans-serif]Like in general women are more comfortable in being around with other women than they are with men. They have a type of bond that usually men with women won't really have, or with men and men. Women are very unique creatures, and tbh women feel a lot safer in general with other women than they do with men if either are alone with each other. I believe it is easier for women to trust other women more than it is to trust a man. Women in general are very sociable with each other, so if something goes wrong they like to speak about it to each other. This is a way to develop trust among women. Women often relate their problems with other women which makes them feel more connected in a way.[/font]

[font=Helvetica,Arial,Verdana,sans-serif]There is an old saying that is "girls always have to stick together".[/font]

[font=Helvetica,Arial,Verdana,sans-serif]So how can a man and woman have a special type of bond with each other if women have a special type of bond with each other while men don't?[/font]

[font=Helvetica,Arial,Verdana,sans-serif]So if what I'm saying is true, then it would explain why so many men and women couples break up or have a divorce in today's society[/font]


[font=Arial,Verdana,helvetica]The friendship of males and females can hardly be as good as a female to female relationship from a woman's point of view.[/font]

Also men and women are both mentally and physically different from each other, so that makes it harder for me to see how they could have a special bond with each other.

Bond with them?.

I’ve bonded with lots of people, think they just fancied getting off or a holiday in Majorca.

 

[TheSkaFish]

Emotional intimacy is different in romantic relationships because the bond is conditional on each party remaining attracted to the other (at least up until middle age). On top of that there are restrictive gender roles at play here. In order to be attractive a man must remain confident and masculine most of the time ( 'hold frame' in PUA/Red Pill speak), which allows him a lot less room to lean on his partner than he might a friend or relative. You'll never be able to trust a partner the same way you could a lifelong friend, it's a different kind of thing.

As for men and women just being platonic friends, we're not so different that it's impossible.

This isn't any kind of hate speech. This is just one person's opinion, shaped by their experiences. This is a viewpoint that someone's life experience might draw them to conclude. Someone else's experience might be different.

I don't see what the problem is here.
At least, I don't see the problem with the post. I see the problem as it relates to other things, which I feel is itself a problem. But that's just me.

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Or just close the thread as usual. Are you ever going to learn anything?

True that, X.

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And as far as platonic Vs. romantic relationships go: The male friend I’ve referred to above would be everything I could hope for in a romantic partnership if he was interested. He’s not hyper masculine and very much in touch with our emotional bond. For me it would actually be easier if he was a little more caveman because then maybe I could just be his friend instead of wanting more.

This is cool and all, but for me and a lot of other guys, this is the exception, not the rule. It's how we wish it could be, but a lot of us have never met or even heard of anyone who feels the same way you do, and have experienced nothing but the opposite. I'm not saying I don't believe you or that this is wrong, just offering a different perspective.

 

[harper]

Do a hitch in the military, and you'll learn a lot about the depth to which we can bond, and with what sorts of people. Adversity may be the best proving ground for all sorts of human tendencies.

 

[ShellShock]

Can men and women actually "romantically" bond with each other?

NO.

And judging by your entire post, can you see the reality outside the box of stereotypes and black and white thinking? Doesn't look so.

 

[Yeti1980]

I have to say I disagree with the original post and that actually the complete opposite may be true.

In my experience, although women chat and socialise etc it's no guarantee that there is actually a strong/deep/trusting friendship there. I've often experienced it in my workplace, the girls get along like a house on fire face to face, but behind each other's backs they say all kinds of catty and unnecessary things. Some women even seem to have a "keep your enemies closer" kind of approach to friendship, where the person they are supposedly close with is in fact some kind of rival.

I'm not saying that women can't have deep friendships, just that an outward appearance of one isn't necessarily a sign of anything deeper.

As for a romantic bond, I can tell you from first hand experience that it is truly possible. My parents have been married since 1960 and they still very much love each other, I'm also happily married and we have a loving and cosy kind of relationship. Please don't discount the possibility of true romantic love and/or friendship with the opposite ***, while it's true that we don't always completely understand each other, the sexes do also massively complement each other when you find people you click with.

 

[harper]

I have to say I disagree with the original post and that actually the complete opposite may be true.

In my experience, although women chat and socialise etc it's no guarantee that there is actually a strong/deep/trusting friendship there. I've often experienced it in my workplace, the girls get along like a house on fire face to face, but behind each other's backs they say all kinds of catty and unnecessary things.

There's an old bit that goes,  "Men insult each other, but they don't mean it... Women compliment each other, but they don't mean it."   :O)

Your posts are always thoughtful, Yeti-- it's always a pleasure to see what you have to say.  Hope you're doing well, as we head into Autumn.  Already.  Yikes.

 

[Diagnosed]

[font=Helvetica, Arial, Verdana, sans-serif] "[/font]Women [font=Helvetica, Arial, Verdana, sans-serif]tend to be more emotional than men are, and thus bond more with other women in a special way that they can't with men."[/font]​

[font=Helvetica, Arial, Verdana, sans-serif]Well, I'm not assured that us so. I've been watching Too many ppl behaving another way. E.i., when my ex wife broke her arm, she didn't cry or shed tears (but me). Whe I lifted her up to carry her to the hospital, she told me she could walk herself (with her brokenhearted bones). So I've seen Too many odds things: yesterday I stayed near a police station and there was a man talking to His friend saying, "my ex wife hit me! She tore this pant I'm wearing (...). And that man told His friend he's having another woman... when I looked at her, I saw she was taller than all of us.[/font]​

[font=Helvetica, Arial, Verdana, sans-serif]I'm not sure who was more emotional or talkative.[/font]​

[font=Helvetica, Arial, Verdana, sans-serif]I wish i had a woman like those, but I'm unwilling to pay the price. It's not only the risk of heartbreaking, but the risk of making an emotional investment that , at the long run, would end up at loneliness, deception, cheating, since life helped me believed I could be loved, that I could love UNCONDITIONALLY ; but this is a lie. All relationships are conditional and, If a person doesn't have what the other needs, she/he will Go to the next door opened.[/font]​

[font=Helvetica, Arial, Verdana, sans-serif]Elton John has a song that helps me understand the issue of communication and interaction:[/font]​

[font=Helvetica, Arial, Verdana, sans-serif]"You can't shoot down the moon. Some things never change. We can build a bridge between us, but the empty space remains..."[/font]​

[font=Helvetica, Arial, Verdana, sans-serif]Such EMPTY space is out there and here. Words would make a bridge, a hope a connection, but our souls are like ghosts, trying to find a mirror, a similar soul to cling to.[/font]​

[font=Helvetica, Arial, Verdana, sans-serif]I'm thankful God (or life) made women, whatever unachievable "thing" they are.[/font]​

 

[Bored]

[quote pid='909155' dateline='1568222860']

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And as far as platonic Vs. romantic relationships go: The male friend I’ve referred to above would be everything I could hope for in a romantic partnership if he was interested. He’s not hyper masculine and very much in touch with our emotional bond. For me it would actually be easier if he was a little more caveman because then maybe I could just be his friend instead of wanting more.

This is cool and all, but for me and a lot of other guys, this is the exception, not the rule.  It's how we wish it could be, but a lot of us have never met or even heard of anyone who feels the same way you do, and have experienced nothing but the opposite.  I'm not saying I don't believe you or that this is wrong, just offering a different perspective.
[/quote]




Thank you for such a lovely compliment.    

 

[Diagnosed]

[font=Helvetica, Arial, Verdana, sans-serif]"I don't believe that romance love between a man and woman exists."[/font]

[font=Helvetica, Arial, Verdana, sans-serif]I do believe it exists... I'm trying to avoid hold/shaking hands with my therapist.[/font]

[font=Helvetica, Arial, Verdana, sans-serif]She's not a dream!  And an hour with her goes too fast. [/font]

 

[Rainbows]

Emotional intimacy is different in romantic relationships because the bond is conditional on each party remaining attracted to the other (at least up until middle age). On top of that there are restrictive gender roles at play here. In order to be attractive  a  man must remain confident and masculine most of the time ( 'hold frame' in PUA/Red Pill speak), which allows him  a lot less room  to lean on his partner than he might a friend or relative.  You'll never be able to trust a partner the same way you could a lifelong friend, it's a different kind of thing.

As for men and women just being platonic friends, we're not so different that it's impossible.

Are you actually believing this yourself? "Must remain confident and masculine"? What is this? Binary 101?

 

[MissBehave]

Emotional intimacy is different in romantic relationships because the bond is conditional on each party remaining attracted to the other (at least up until middle age). On top of that there are restrictive gender roles at play here. In order to be attractive  a  man must remain confident and masculine most of the time ( 'hold frame' in PUA/Red Pill speak), which allows him  a lot less room  to lean on his partner than he might a friend or relative.  You'll never be able to trust a partner the same way you could a lifelong friend, it's a different kind of thing.

As for men and women just being platonic friends, we're not so different that it's impossible.

Are you actually believing this yourself? "Must remain confident and masculine"? What is this? Binary 101?

I feel like I'm being important and valued when a male friend or bf leans on me and wants my help.
I certainly don't see it as weakness.

 

[ardour]

Are you actually believing this yourself? "Must remain confident and masculine"? What is this? Binary 101?

  If you’re open minded go look up Norah Vincent ‘s experience as a man in disguise (specifically her attempts to date) https://www.amazon.com/Self-Made-Ma...?keywords=Norah+Vincent&qid=1573523861&sr=8-1

 

[TheRealCallie]

Are you actually believing this yourself? "Must remain confident and masculine"? What is this? Binary 101?

It's nothing to do with what I want. I wouldn’t expect a bi woman with your politics to make an honest attempt to evaluate other ideas, given that people like you tend to have a very dogmatic, authoritarian  viewpoints that boil down to blaming straight cis males for everything wrong in society, including restrictive gender norms.   
 
 If you’re a little more open minded however, go look up Norah Vincent ‘s experience as a man in disguise (specifically her attempts to date) https://www.amazon.com/Self-Made-Ma...?keywords=Norah+Vincent&qid=1573523861&sr=8-1

You know, I never really understood why people have such a damn problem with what I say when others have no issue insulting the **** out of people and/or making assumptions about people they don't even know. 
Granted, on my first account, I did similar, but holy ****, at some point, you have to reevaluate yourself and ask yourself if it's time to grow up and stop with the childish ********.  For all that you (and others) like to call me a bully/troll/shamer/whatever, maybe you should look at what you write.

 

[ardour]

I wasn't trying to bully. I know that member's views, they've expressed them several times here so it's partly a statement of fact. I don't hate progressive ideals, but they're too often about virtue signalling.

That part's been deleted though. (Probably going to cop a ban anyway.)

 

[TheRealCallie]

Okay, but when was the last time she posted anything like that? How do you know she still feels that way? I don't recall the posts you are talking about, but did she flat out say that or is that just the way you interpreted it?
People change. I know that seems absolutely ridiculous to the people here, since they tend to only hold on to what they want and refuse to believe anyone can change, but it can happen. People grow, people change their views. I do believe I've noticed a few changes in your views this year.