Can men be faithfull in a long relationship?

[Sci-Fi]

Can? Sure. Will? Probably not. (imho >90%).  Depends on both ends of the stick + ego&needs involved.

Alas, the < 10% of faithful men fall victim to women who can't trust. It's understandable, but also just sad

Okay, not completely accurate here. In my experience it's relatively 50/50. I know both sides who have cheated and I would not say it leans one way more the other way. Like I said before its the PERSON not their ***. And when it comes to trusting it falls on both as well, once you've been burned whether in a relationship/friendship or whatever it can make it hard to trust a person not matter their ***.

It would be really nice to stop seeing comments like "oh it's 90% of men/women who cheat". Seriously? Those are extremely sexist and biased comments. Out of all the men/women someone knows the majority cheat? I doubt it.

 

[zero]

oh, sorry , I thought it was clear that it is a subjective opinion. I said "probably" and "imho". not a fact, not a statistic. can be completely ignored. as I will too the part about "extremely sexist and biased comments". facts can be read in reference literature, opinions are by definition something relative and personal. so again, sorry if it came across otherwise.
* I sure know now not to interfere in the serious discussions here anymore and keep it to game or just reading part*

 

[Somnambulist]

oh, sorry , I thought it was clear that it is a subjective opinion. I said "probably" and "imho". not a fact, not a statistic. can be completely ignored. as I will too the part about "extremely sexist and biased comments". facts can be read in reference literature, opinions are by definition something relative and personal. so again, sorry if it came across otherwise.
* I sure know now not to interfere in the serious discussions here anymore and keep it to game or just reading part*

It was clear to me as well. Please don't stop responding. I value your input very much.

 

[WhisprWriter]

The National Health and Social Life Survey gives these numbers for those who engage in infidelity

4% of married men                          
16% of cohabiting men                 
37% of dating men                    

1% of married women
8% of cohabiting women
17% of women in dating relationships

So roughly 40% men to 20% women are cheaters. There are multiple reasons for this, many involving society and the different roles, allowances, and pressures it puts on each gender. However at the end of the day it comes down to the individual. But for certain, there are plenty of faithful men, and plenty of faithful women for both genders to find. 

The difficulty is that cheaters work though manipulation and deception, and are usually pretty good at it. There are usually no initial red flags, so they can sneak into a relationship with you without you knowing that they have been/ are prone to cheating.

 

[EveWasFramed]

It's nice to see some actual statistics.

 

[MisterLonely]

It's nice to see some actual statistics.

One has to wonder though, how many of the people who enter that survey are 100% truthfull, how many can fill in the forms without their significant other seeing it, how many fill it in together as a couple?

Still, some statistics are better than just guessing!

 

[EveWasFramed]

It's nice to see some actual statistics.

One has to wonder though, how many of the people who enter that survey are 100% truthfull, how many can fill in the forms without their significant other seeing it, how many fill it in together as a couple?

Still, some statistics are better than just guessing!

Yes, that was my point. At least someone did a little research. 
However, for folks like Zero and myself, we have opinions that are based in the reality of our own experiences. So while there are statistics, it doesn't guarantee that they will apply to everyone, unfortunately.

 

[VanillaCreme]

I wouldn't even rely on statistics and such. They can be altered or inaccurate altogether.

 

[MisterLonely]

It's nice to see some actual statistics.

One has to wonder though, how many of the people who enter that survey are 100% truthfull, how many can fill in the forms without their significant other seeing it, how many fill it in together as a couple?

Still, some statistics are better than just guessing!

Yes, that was my point. At least someone did a little research. 
However, for folks like Zero and myself, we have opinions that are based in the reality of our own experiences. So while there are statistics, it doesn't guarantee that they will apply to everyone, unfortunately.

That is unfortunate, and I can understand something like that will alter your perception and limit your expectations of the opposite ***, also makes me think of a "funny" thought I once had about a bad luck lottery.

Everybody automatically enters the bad luck lottery, and everyone will win the grand prize at some point in their lives, some of us however just keep winning over and over again.... pretty stupid thought I know, but I thought it fitting for this occasion.

 

[Somnambulist]

Statistics are true ... until it happens to you.

(The statistics I find funniest are the ones about air travel being safer than driving a car. And how many people believe those statistics.)

 

[ardour]

The National Health and Social Life Survey gives these numbers for those who engage in infidelity

4% of married men                          
16% of cohabiting men                 
37% of dating men                    

1% of married women
8% of cohabiting women
17% of women in dating relationships

So roughly 40% men to 20% women are cheaters. There are multiple reasons for this, many involving society and the different roles, allowances, and pressures it puts on each gender. However at the end of the day it comes down to the individual. But for certain, there are plenty of faithful men, and plenty of faithful women for both genders to find. 

The difficulty is that cheaters work though manipulation and deception, and are usually pretty good at it. There are usually no initial red flags, so they can sneak into a relationship with you without you knowing that they have been/ are prone to cheating.

Edit: Nevermind...

 

[Tuathaniel]

The difficulty is that cheaters work through manipulation and deception, and are usually pretty good at it. There are usually no initial red flags, so they can sneak into a relationship with you without you knowing that they have been/ are prone to cheating.

"The type of men women seem to like"? Oh, give me a break. Enough with all this "all women like bad guys" crap. I don't know how many women you've personally talked to about this, but from all the female friends and acquaintances I've talked to over the years (and trust me, women do talk about these things), very few have preferred the "bad boys." Those who do, are typically the ones who aren't really into relationships themselves, and prefer to keep meeting new people. An overwhelming majority of those in relationships or marriages, have chosen nice, kind and caring guys (as far as they know).

 

[EveWasFramed]

The difficulty is that cheaters work through manipulation and deception, and are usually pretty good at it. There are usually no initial red flags, so they can sneak into a relationship with you without you knowing that they have been/ are prone to cheating.

"The type of men women seem to like"? Oh, give me a break. Enough with all this "all women like bad guys" crap. I don't know how many women you've personally talked to about this, but from all the female friends and acquaintances I've talked to over the years (and trust me, women do talk about these things), very few have preferred the "bad boys." Those who do, are typically the ones who aren't really into relationships themselves, and prefer to keep meeting new people. An overwhelming majority of those in relationships or marriages, have chosen nice, kind and caring guys (as far as they know).

I agree. Completely. Having lived this, I can attest to this being true, at least for me.

 

[Xpendable]

Is not that women prefer bad boys, is that they don't recongnize they're bad until is too late.

 

[ardour]

^..some are drawn to emotionally unavailable men because of low self-esteem. Obviously they're more likely to be cheated on in those situations.

 

[littlefish1555]

I don't mean to start another war here, but the title just made me crack up.

Anti-male sexism, much ?

However, I have always found interesting and useful, the comparison of human behavior to that of wild animals.

Male tigers will instinctively (and concurrently) mate with several females in neighboring territories, in order to spread their genes as much as possible. It seems logical for any animal species, from an evolution standpoint. They also take no part, other than physical protection of the territory, in the cubs' upbringing.

Female tigers, however, will only come into heat/season again once their conceived cubs have reached maturity (~2 years), unless a male stronger than her current mate invades her territory and kills her cubs. So, they are serial monogamists.

In other words, male tigers are more promiscuous than females

Does human behavior mirror this ? Do we men do the same, driven by the same instinct ? If so, how wrong is that ? I don't know.

I, personally, have never cheated on my women, and probably never will.

She did say she lives in Latin America and I think you have to take culture and machismo into the equation.  In lots of countries it's an unspoken norm for the man to have mistresses, and not everyone is in the position to Beyonce their way to independence and men in any culture where it's normal to lack respect for women capitalize on this fact.  Ours included.  I definitely don't think everyone cheats, but I do think it's common enough, someone said it's more about being selfish than anything else.

 

[littlefish1555]

Also, I'm sorry, but I seriously doubt only 4 percent of married men and 1 percent of married women cheat, in any country except maybe Mongolia (just a guess).

 

[DarkSelene]

^..some are drawn to emotionally unavailable men because of low self-esteem. Obviously they're more likely to be cheated on in those situations.

I would say people can be drawn to that because of low self-esteem.


I think it's truly not a question of gender. Infidelity happens for a lot of reasons and unless you have a history of the relationship itself it's very hard to know who really is at fault, although everyone involved has their own level of responsibility on the matter.
If someone is genuinely a bad person and a "cheater" I hardly think you wouldn't realize that something is up, unless you rushed through the entire process of getting to know that person and/or got blinded by feelings and was unable to be rational.
People often curse themselves with delusional expectations, seeing someone for who they could be instead of for who they are right now, if you end up being cheated by someone that you knew was emotionally unavailable/not trustworthy/...crappy? - it's your own fault.

 

[Restless soul]

Oh boy do I sure hope so. Did you see my comments in the other section

 

[Siku]

Can't we ever have a thread like this without the obvious subjective bitterness towards other genders. It's always the same few members being entirely hypocritical towards one another. It's so painfully obvious no matter how politically correct you try to come off as.

I know it's already been said but forget stats, this is human behavior. Regardless of gender or sexual preference.