Check up

[ztyu123]

Do you checkup, keep tabs on, cyberstalk an ex? Why do you do it? Are you waiting for them to expose a vulnerability for you to swoop back into their lives, hoping for another chance?

 

[Colster]

Some of us check on our ex's for the sake of our children. It sometimes means swallowing one's pride, and occasionally helping someone whom you grossly detest, so that your children can be best supported, and emotionally nourished. Likewise, if we can move pieces in the peripheral areas, to make things easier, then you do so, unacknowledged.

 

[Sarah G]

I'm not really bothered about my exes.
One of them from a long time ago I do Google occasionally to see if he ever got out of prison but he might have changed his name or gone totally off-grid.
My ex gf is on my FB so I know she's doing alright.
My ex husband isn't on any social media and doesn't want communication with me which is fine. I ask my son how he is now and then and he's not okay but that's life.

There's a reason they're exes, no point looking back, I'm not going that way.

 

[ewomack]

I used to "cyberstalk" out of curiosity, but I haven't for a long time. Though I can honestly say that I have never "checked up" on my ex-wife and I don't know whether she's alive or dead at this moment. I hope she's well for her own sake, but it's no longer my business. I'm very happy that we didn't have children.

I did do a little bit of searching on some of my older girlfriends and I did locate a lot of them. To my surprise, many of them had moved far away, so I didn't have to worry about running into them anymore. Cyberstalking really paid off in those cases. One woman I couldn't find anywhere, absolutely zero trace, even considering that she might have married and changed her name, which made me wonder whether something had happened to her. I'll likely never know. Sometimes it's just interesting to find out what happened to people you once knew intimately, people who you once kissed, saw naked, and once thought would stay in your life forever but didn't. It's hard to completely break a connection to someone who you once had deep and complicated feelings for, even if they ended up betraying you.

I didn't do any of this to "get them back" or to "get back into their lives." It was mostly out of sheer curiosity and, honestly, some internet searching practice. For me, once a relationship ends it pretty much stays that way, especially when it ends badly. I don't want people who treated me badly back in my life. I'd rather be alone, honestly. But that doesn't mean they don't come up in my head once in a while, triggering a little curiosity demon...

 

[CenotaphGirl]

I don't cyber stalk my ex, I just call his brother when i'm being nosey lol
My heart cant take his pics constant pics with ... all the slu...I mean..."women".

 

[SecondStarTotheRight]

No.

 

[HelloNewman]

I see my ex at funerals, graduations, etc. I am cordial for my kids and grandkids.

 

[Abstamyous]

There's one from my teenage years, that I check on every year when it's his birthday. Mostly because I hope he's still alive and happy.

I have negatively looked people up, and felt hurt by their new lives. But it really isn't my business, and they don't exist to hurt me. And I would hate to be on the other end of that, where someone is so angry and checking on me.

 

[4No1]

No. I don't care.

 

[Sunless Sky]

Maybe if I am fresh off of a break up yeah but not much later on. Its just so tiring and a bit masochistic to keep tabs on an ex. Like you want punishment. Either that or you want to see someone you used to care about having a crappy time without you so you can feel better about yourself.

 

[NoxApex(N/A)]

I only really talk to one of my exes still, and even then, it's pretty sparingly.
We have a sort of distant platonic friendship after I broke up with her.
I appreciate her company and personality, but also I keep her at an arm's distance because she can be really frustrating sometimes.

As far as feelings go?
I love her, but I'm not in love with her.
I care about her as a person because she is very sick, both mentally and physically.
But I'd never "go back" to her, not romantically or sexually, anyhow.
We've considered living together again a few times, but also like I said, she's frustrating to me, sssooo I'm on the fence about it. There'd be good points and bad points to that, and that's kind of the trouble with living with anyone, right?

 

[HelloNewman]

I love her, but I'm not in love with her.

I relate to this

 

[idaniel]

I am friends with one ex. She has pulled me out of some jams, and she has helped me through some health issues. No romantic feelings. We grew apart. I don't hope for another chance. I do hope she finds happiness again. And truth be told I used to live a really isolated life after we split. I mean it was at the point that nobody would have known if something bad happened to me. She was the only person at the time who cared to check on me. So for that I am grateful.