Controversy of woman have it easier

[Equinox]

I gotta admit, at first I was worried that this would turn into another "Firebird and his friend against the rest of the forum" showdown, but after reading your latter posts, Senamian, I'm relieved. Maybe he'll listen to common sense when it comes from someone he knows? I sure hope so. There are actually members considering leaving this forum because they find his forum bullying too much, and I'd hate to see that happening. If I could choose, I'd definitely prefer to keep the nice people instead of the kid who does nothing but insult everyone simply because they disagree with him.

I actually PM'd him in here, apologizing for letting my temper get the better of me, and explaining in detail why I found his words so offensive. He replied by bashing me in a random thread, completely off topic. Reading your recent post updates, Senamian, I'm now even more convinced that I'm right: He might be lonely, but if he is, it's his own damn fault. People won't be friends with someone who is rude, obnoxious and call them an ***** when they won't accept brainwash ********.

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This is where girls get an advantage. If you are attractive, all you really have to do is be around men to get a man. Hence why being shy is not a deal breaker for girls.

Yes, but ... This has nothing to do with gender, but with attractiveness. If you are attractive, all you really have to do is be around girls to get a girl. A shy, but attractive man is no worse off than a shy, attractive girl, so girls in general have no advantage here. I've seen it countless times; some cute, quiet guy getting hit on by several girls within minutes. This applies to men and women alike.

 

[Felix]

This is why there are a lot of guys on here who have never had a girlfriend. We are victims of the dark side of our advantage, we have to approach. This is where girls get an advantage. If you are attractive, all you really have to do is be around men to get a man. Hence why being shy is not a deal breaker for girls.

Well that's just the way it goes. It's also the consequence of what we as men want.

And being a guy, I have been approached by girls...Not so many times as a girl would, but... I guess what I'm trying to say is... This is not so black and white my friend.

 

[Senamian]

THANK YOU Equinox. He just... won't listen. Hey I beared my damn heart to him and he is turning me right down. I'm trying but THAT GUY ON YOUTUBE obviously has his mind heart and soul. So no he wont listen to me. No matter what I say.

you know, I met some really shy and quiet guys who are: homely, have some deformity (wheel chair, genetic disease attacking the nerves, giantism (there's one dude who's REALLY tall.... ) and somehow they get into the group I am with (bunch of loud weirdos with nothing else to do xD ) and we get along nicely. We think they are cute...because they are just nyawww so quiet and shy and nyaww!!!! LOL. So it's not that we are against the quiet and shy. We are just against those who just... don't want to believe us or accept comments.
Also as awkward it is to talk to a quiet and shy guy.... Personally I like them better because it gives me the thought that they aren't going to be obnoxious or complete dicks (no offense to those who are outgoing and like to talk... I know quite a number who are awesome people)
I've also come to notice that when I am pissed off or annoyed/frustrated I can type over 100 words per minute. Scary.

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Hey! You know, just to rival the "girls have it easier" thinger... You know my twin and I have the SAME problem? He's a guy, and I am a girl. we haven't been able to keep a relationship, or if we did have a relationship we dislike being in that relationship just don't want to hurt anyone's feelings by saying "hey let's go back to being friends"

so... for us, it's 1-1. We both have problems... for different reasons yes, but the same problems. And we are identical NOT visually (other than eyes) but we act and think the same. He's a better speaker than I am, he is more optimistic...

 

[TheSolitaryMan]

This is where girls get an advantage. If you are attractive, all you really have to do is be around men to get a man. Hence why being shy is not a deal breaker for girls.

Yes, but ... This has nothing to do with gender, but with attractiveness. If you are attractive, all you really have to do is be around girls to get a girl. A shy, but attractive man is no worse off than a shy, attractive girl, so girls in general have no advantage here. I've seen it countless times; some cute, quiet guy getting hit on by several girls within minutes. This applies to men and women alike.

Gosh, I'm afraid for the first time ever I have to disagree slightly Equinox. Has anyone got a record book we can jot that down in? Lovely

It is kind of true both ways for attractive people, but I'd say women still have a slight edge.

I don't want to come across arrogant, but while I myself am really down on my image, other people do say I'm attractive.

Regardless of this, I'm obviously GF-less. I've had about 11 or so girls show interest in me without my prompting over just a few years, so logic dictates I should not have such chronic loneliness problems. Here's the difference between guys and girls: my shyness renders my attraction weaker as a guy.

An attractive girl will attract guys for her looks, then her shyness is also kind of a positive trait much of the time too - she must simply gather the guts to say "yes" to the right guy. A girl being shy is not unattractive.

On the other hand, a good looking guy will be approached by girls, but ultimately he will be the one "leading" the relationship, so if he doesn't have the confidence or drive to do that, he will not get anywhere with girls surprisingly often, even if he's exceptionally nice looking.

Men are seen as attractive when they are confident, self-assured and level-headed. These are all the sorts of qualities that drive a relationship on, so if a girl senses a man doesn't (yet) have these, he's in a bit of trouble.

That's what my experience has dictated anyway. You can check any other of my romance threads on here to immediately see that my personality is that of a pansy, thus backing up this theory

 

[Senamian]

SolitaryMan, if you are like how you speak (type?) I don't seeing anything wrong
Although I admit it's harder to see confidence in a shy guy. But seeing a shy girl seems "natural" if that makes sense....
Level-Headed is always good on either side lol. It annoys me to see a girl who bursts at everything...same goes for a guy. Self-Assured, I know many guys who aren't really...confident anyways, but what I like about being me, is that I see that, sure, but I see more than the "wrapper" One thing though, is I don't exactly have... the feeling of sympathy for people who cry.... Guy or girl. I just... I dunno I try ;( so people see me coming across as "arrogant" or uncaring.

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"buying into skeptics skeptics messing with the confidence in my eyes"
"Am I gonna turn out fine oh you'll turn out fine. Fine, you'll turn out fine but you gotta keep your head up"

Hey Firebird, maybe you should actually listen to the WORDS of this song. Not the rythme of the song... but what it SAYS. you know, sort of like people. Can't just judge them by what they LOOK like, but you can sure as Hell judge them by the words they tell ya. Especially when they repeat someone else's words and don't use their own... Because then they show you that they don't have confidence in their own words, and use a skeptic's words to make them feel better.

 

[Equinox]

Whoah, wait, wait ... You're a dude, who is shy, and who's been approached by 10+ women over just a few years; and you believe shy women have an edge over shy men? Sorry, I ain't byin' it. In my case, as a shy and not completely butt-ugly girl, you can easily reverse those numbers; I've been approached by just a few guys over the past 10+ years.

The only thing I ever hear/read from guys is "Nothing's more attractive than a girl with confidence" and "shy girls seems a bit weak and boring". Okay, I've heard a few say that shyness in girls is cute, but not the majority; far from it. And only up to a certain degree.

I do see your point, and in a theoretical way I can agree with it. Based on my own experiences and observations, however, I can not.

 

[TheSolitaryMan]

Whoah, wait, wait ... You're a dude, who is shy, and who's been approached by 10+ women over just a few years; and you believe shy women have an edge over shy men? Sorry, I ain't byin' it. In my case, as a shy and not completely butt-ugly girl, you can easily reverse those numbers; I've been approached by just a few guys over the past 10+ years.

The only thing I ever hear/read from guys is "Nothing's more attractive than a girl with confidence" and "shy girls seems a bit weak and boring". Okay, I've heard a few say that shyness in girls is cute, but not the majority; far from it. And only up to a certain degree.

I do see your point, and in a theoretical way I can agree with it. Based on my own experiences and observations, however, I can not.

Well, to be fair those "few years" were my early-mid teens, so those girls were probably insane with hormones and stuff rather than consistent variables

(Good lord, it's starting to sound like a lab report. Sigh.)

Anyway, I guess I must be in the minority of guys, because shyness in girls is kind of hyper awesome. So is confidence in girls. Hmm :\

Confidence is immediately attractive, but I think shyness often implies that a girl is more innocent and perhaps more...I dunno, loyal? Some super-confident girls aren't so awesome because they would clearly jump into bed with anything with a heartbeat.

Maybe some girls feel the same way about shy guys? I'm not sure.

I don't think it's possible to definitely draw any conclusion because one gender is always missing the experience of the other, so now I'm confused and rambling and need food

 

[Equinox]

Personally I don't think it's possible to definitely draw any conclusions because we're focusing on genders in general, instead of individuals. There are women. There are men. They're both people. They both have individual beings with different personalities. Some girls will have it easy, some won't. Some guys will have it easy, some won't. There's nobody to "blame"; it's nobody's "fault". The only person we can possibly blame for being single, is ourselves, really, and that has nothing to do with whether our reproductive organs are on the inside or outside.

 

[Limlim]

I do see a lot more posts about lonely dudes wanting girlfriends on sites such as this one than I do from girls, but that could also just mean guys are more predisposed to bitching about it online.

I remember reading a few posts here from Jamais Vu and a few others where they mention sometimes its awkward to leave the house because they get hit on when they do and it makes them uncomfortable because they aren't interested or have significant others already. It makes me blink when I see stuff like that, the statement being so foreign to me, where the actual possibility exists every day for someone that they will be approached and flirted with, enough so that it even becomes a pain in the *** when trying to be social! It's like a whole other world to me.

Note this isn't supporting any particular point of anyones, just felt like contributing to the topic.

 

[Sprint]

This is the same for a lot of girls, except of course they hunt & seduce guys.

Again, I know girls like this also. I also know girls who brag about how many guys they can "get".

Deleted the ridiculous overquoting because it was doing my head in

This is so hard to explain. It's sort of a deeply ingrained social thing that manifests in the behaviour mostly of males.

Addressed this in that original post. Yes, some girls brag, but they are definitely in the minority. With guys, I'd say it's as big at max as a 50:50 split between those who haven't grown up and those that have, at least in my age range (20-30).

Also, every girl I've ever heard boasting has been talking about her boyfriend, not some guy she got smashed and had sex with on the weekend. I've never heard a girl ever boast about casual sex, but I've heard plenty talking about how hot their BF is.

Girls also look out for each other when on nights out. Why do you think this is? Because they are often less keen to have sex in general.

Guys on the other hand, are generally more keen to do that stuff. I've never heard of guys try to prevent each other from having sex in a club environment because they're worried about their friend.

This means, again, there are more loose males than loose females.

For many girls, virginity is still something positive (and I would agree there). Have you ever seen a girl be really viciously mocked because she hasn't had sex with someone? I don't think I ever have. The more slutty girls might tease them, but I've never seen a large group of people ever look down on a girl for being chaste.

Not so for men.

For guys, we are constantly fed this ******** by the media that we are nothing if we don't regularly get sex, so that leads to this sort of predatory behaviour you see in the ***** men.

I don't even subscribe to that stuff, but I still feel like a "lesser" male sometimes because I've never slept with a girl. That's how powerful a force it can be, to influence the feelings of people who don't even buy into it.

There are so many things in this post that I find inaccurate to what I've seen and experienced in my own life, that I don't even feel like addressing them all.

I would just wonder what planet you live on?? No offense, I mean it in a good way... but you just seem very naive about women in general. That again, is a good thing. I wish I was.

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Dk, leave him be. EVERYONE is allowed their opinion.

Excuse me, but I have every right to react to this garbage. So, no, I will not comply with your gag order request.

lol

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The title of this thread should have been "good cop - bad cop"

 

[Equinox]

I do see a lot more posts about lonely dudes wanting girlfriends on sites such as this one than I do from girls, but that could also just mean guys are more predisposed to bitching about it online.

A crucial point you bring out here. Dudes ALWAYS complain more than the ladies, if there's anything they're not happy with. Most girls keep stuff like that more private, and don't really feel like publicly whinining about lack of man attention. I don't know if it's a pride thing or a privacy thing - for me it's a little of both.

 

[Lonesome Crow]

Everyone have assets and liabilities...

Pretty chicks come on to me...but my spelling sucks?

verse a dude that won a spelling B constest cant get laid worth a ****?

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So on gose the same Old sttupid argument..
Intlelligent people are better people than shallow good looking people.lmao

Of corse...shallow people would say...
If you,re god damn smart..then why in the hell cant you get laid. LOL

 

[beans]

I didn't have time to go through all the replies on this thread, only read maybe first 2-3 pages. Look, it may be easier for an average girl to get sex , BUT.....she is not happy.

Girls are not thrilled when they managed to get sex. But guys are, regardless or how attractive the girl he slept with was. They'd go like 'Aaaah I got laid tonite.'

When a girl gets laid (with someone whom she doesn't love or like), she'll feel pretty ****** afterwards. It does not mean anything to a girl as it would to a guy.

So even though girls can get sex easily, it's not what they want. That's why it's common for girls to always complain about why guys only want them for their bodies and not what's inside. And it may even hurt them emotionally.

Guys may not get sex easily, but it's what they really want.

 

[Sprint]

I didn't have time to go through all the replies on this thread, only read maybe first 2-3 pages. Look, it may be easier for an average girl to get sex , BUT.....she is not happy.

Girls are not thrilled when they managed to get sex. But guys are, regardless or how attractive the girl he slept with was. They'd go like 'Aaaah I got laid tonite.'

When a girl gets laid (with someone whom she doesn't love or like), she'll feel pretty ****** afterwards. It does not mean anything to a girl as it would to a guy.

So even though girls can get sex easily, it's not what they want. That's why it's common for girls to always complain about why guys only want them for their bodies and not what's inside. And it may even hurt them emotionally.

Guys may not get sex easily, but it's what they really want.

A lot of generalizations/stereotypes here that really don't apply.

 

[beans]

I was hoping for a hard question. I think that it is best summed up by saying. We guard the desire of the opposite sex. In the end both sides want something from the other in a "relationship". Men want sex and women want an emotional... equivalent? In the end men have the choice to give out their heart and women have the choice to spread their legs. It becomes a power struggle. I think in the end it is perception. I would be willing to wager that if a girl, most any girl, walked around... hell a park and asked guys if they would have sex with her she would have no trouble having sex. Same with men, if they walked around asking girls to marry them I am sure it would not find long to find a taker. However, if we switched roles, men ask for sex and women ask for a commitment, both are pretty much doomed to failure.

Sprint, even he agrees.

 

[Sprint]

I was hoping for a hard question. I think that it is best summed up by saying. We guard the desire of the opposite sex. In the end both sides want something from the other in a "relationship". Men want sex and women want an emotional... equivalent? In the end men have the choice to give out their heart and women have the choice to spread their legs. It becomes a power struggle. I think in the end it is perception. I would be willing to wager that if a girl, most any girl, walked around... hell a park and asked guys if they would have sex with her she would have no trouble having sex. Same with men, if they walked around asking girls to marry them I am sure it would not find long to find a taker. However, if we switched roles, men ask for sex and women ask for a commitment, both are pretty much doomed to failure.

Sprint, even he agrees.

I'm supposed to care that someone else agrees? lol To me that just means both of you are wrong

 

[Lonesome Crow]

I dont mean to be rude but....
I see plenty of what some would term
Ugly fats chicks...with babies and a husband or a BF.

Some of those dudes are what some people would term handsome or good looking..

Visa versa...
I ve seen plenty of beautiful women wiht fat hairy dudes ...

I think Lonely people in general just need to get out of the house more...youll be amaze to witness many many things thats contradicitng in your head..
Theres all kinds of possiblities.

Ive witness mean fat dudes thats really negative too. Bad looks and bad perosnalites.
Thats like 2 wrongs dont make a right.

 

[Sprint]

I didn't have time to go through all the replies on this thread, only read maybe first 2-3 pages. Look, it may be easier for an average girl to get sex , BUT.....she is not happy.

Girls are not thrilled when they managed to get sex. But guys are, regardless or how attractive the girl he slept with was. They'd go like 'Aaaah I got laid tonite.'

When a girl gets laid (with someone whom she doesn't love or like), she'll feel pretty ****** afterwards. It does not mean anything to a girl as it would to a guy.

So even though girls can get sex easily, it's not what they want. That's why it's common for girls to always complain about why guys only want them for their bodies and not what's inside. And it may even hurt them emotionally.

Guys may not get sex easily, but it's what they really want.

Ok let me rip it apart:

Look, it may be easier for an average girl to get sex , BUT.....she is not happy.

Yes they are lol. Most girls I know are happy when they have sex.

Girls are not thrilled when they managed to get sex.

Again, this is what I see... or else why would they brag about it so much??

But guys are, regardless or how attractive the girl he slept with was. They'd go like 'Aaaah I got laid tonite.'

I have heard this from far too many girls. Personally, I find it distasteful from all genders.

When a girl gets laid (with someone whom she doesn't love or like), she'll feel pretty ****** afterwards.

This is not the case usually. Girls usually sleep with guys they hardly know. Denial in 2011 doesn't help us control the ill effects this has on society (not knowing who the father of child(ren) are... STDs...etc.)

So even though girls can get sex easily, it's not what they want.

Better think again lol!

I could go on... but you get my drift. Trying to make it seem like girls are less inclined to want, enjoy, and have promiscuous sex is inaccurate. Either the case here is denial or naivete, but either doesn't erase the facts.

I wish it did!

 

[Felix]

I agree with Sprint. One friend of mine who is a GIRL is always happy after she has casual sex and tells us about it. But there are other girls don't like that, that need to be in a relationship. So... you can't put them all in the same box.

 

[beans]

I agree with Sprint. One friend of mine who is a GIRL is always happy after she has casual sex and tells us about it. But there are other girls don't like that, that need to be in a relationship. So... you can't put them all in the same box.

Of course in anything, there are exceptions. But I'm talking about the average girl. Maybe out of 10 girls, 2 or 3 feel happy after a casual sex. But guys like to look at that 2 or 3 and wish it was the same and even try to convince themselves that all girls feel the same.