Dating websites

[Runciter]

The trouble with dating websites is the choice. It might sound like a great thing, to have a diverse choice, but it really isn't.

Consider a woman sitting in a quite bar one sunny afternoon. All she is doing is having a drink and reading a paper before continuing with her day. Now lets say you approach that woman and start chatting to her, because she had no expectations to meet someone, maybe she'll talk back. After a short time, maybe with some flirting, she is going to feel very flattered that someone even bothered and the chances of getting a date won't be too bad.

Now consider the same woman goes to the same bar at the same time, but on this day there is a difference. This day there are 30 men, all standing in a row who all want to talk to her. She walks up and down the line and maybe selects a guy or two to speak to. The thing is when she has a choice of 30 guys she is going to be much more critical and will dismiss you for minor flaws because "hey, there are 29 others, why settle for a guy with a funny mole on his face." Not only that, when she sits down to chat to the guys, she will be much more easily disappointed because in the back of her mind she will be thinking "I wonder if that other guy would have been a better choice."

Now I'm not saying women should have no choice, that they should just settle, but I am saying that too much choice, especially in the context of dating websites, is not a good thing. There is a video here that goes into more detail. The video has nothing to do with dating but all the information is completely transferable.

For the guys that do online dating, it just means you should realize that if 1/10 women found you attractive on the street, online that figure would be more like 1/50. So don't take rejection to heart, it's just a numbers game.

 

[CM Vader]

People subject themselves to the torture as there is always hope that someone will accept you for who you are.

And what are you?

You have to ask yourself that? What do you want to present yourself as? This doesn't mean lying, but it does mean showing people your best side, as opposed to the side that keeps on getting rejected.

I do it because I want to meet someone who loves me despite all my faults. I said in another thread that a made a mistake with my ex girlfriend who I still love but I want to move on. There is another girl out there who likes me surely? You just have to keep plugging away.

Now, there is one part of me that thinks my terrible luck with women is because I messed up an amazing chance to be happy. I genuinely think it's karma sometimes but that's life and I have to put up with it.

I don't know how to approach women online, it's weird. I'm far too honest I think. I can't transfer my personality in real life to an online dating website. I get told I'm charismatic a lot so that does improve my self confidence. I don't know what I'm trying to get at here but here is my plenty of fish profile.

Just enjoy it..

http://www.pof.com/viewprofile.aspx?profile_id=36267985

 

[LeaningIntoTheMuse]

You're lucky. I am 30, and still haven't had a girlfriend. You're ahead of me, surely.

It's great to have someone love you for who you are, but very few people will do that. The people who will, you should keep around.

Oh wait...I just saw your profile. Very well written, but take out the part about being a normal guy. Everyone is normal, and it just makes you sound insecure.

 

[CM Vader]

You're lucky. I am 30, and still haven't had a girlfriend. You're ahead of me, surely.

It's great to have someone love you for who you are, but very few people will do that. The people who will, you should keep around.

Oh wait...I just saw your profile. Very well written, but take out the part about being a normal guy. Everyone is normal, and it just makes you sound insecure.

I guess everyone goes at their own pace mate. One day you might have a load of women gagging for you. Think of it as when you're waiting for a bus, when you're waiting for one, two come along at once.

What should I replace normal with then? Haha.

 

[LeaningIntoTheMuse]

Just don't mention it.

It's like me mentioning that I've never been on a date. Sure, that would make someone who didn't have an issue with it, want to click on my profile, but it would make a lot of women wonder, "Why is he mentioning that like he's proud of it? There is something wrong if he thinks that's what he has going for him."

When you mention you're not like all the other guys, it makes you sound like you're better than the other guys...and a woman would think, "If he thinks he's better than other guys, would he think he's better than me?"

 

[CM Vader]

Never thought of it like that. I've deleted it for now, wana add something else but I can't think of anything for now.

 

[EveWasFramed]

Id have like to have read it before you started deleting stuff. Being Im a female, I might have provided an alternative view.

 

[CM Vader]

Id have like to have read it before you started deleting stuff. Being Im a female, I might have provided an alternative view.

All I deleted was "I'm not what you call a normal guy, I'd like to think I'm different".

 

[EveWasFramed]

hmmm...that doesn't seem to make you appear insecure.

 

[CM Vader]

Fair enough.. Nice to get other opinions I guess.

What you make of it?

 

[EveWasFramed]

lol, well I'd probably ditch the "too honest for my own good" thing. lol

 

[CM Vader]

Haha but that is me though!

 

[EveWasFramed]

Yes, but when someone reads that, they might think "too honest" means "Im a jerk who will hurt your feelings instead of using tact." rofl

 

[CM Vader]

Yes, but when someone reads that, they might think "too honest" means "Im a jerk who will hurt your feelings instead of using tact." rofl

Haha I get what you mean
But bar that, it's ok us?

 

[EveWasFramed]

Yeah, lol.

 

[LeaningIntoTheMuse]

I would post mine, but I'm afraid lol.

 

[CM Vader]

I would post mine, but I'm afraid lol.

Do it mate. Face your fear, that's how I see it. You'll feel better after you've done it.

 

[Littlesecret]

http://www.pof.com/viewprofile.aspx?profile_id=36267985

Hey I hope you don't mind me weighing in on your post but your 'about me' was not good? Can I say that? :s

I don't know if you have had many dates off it but I was completely turned off by it,
"Yo, I'm Robbie. A lad who always tries to have a good time!" - no thanks, you already sound like you are not serious about finding relationship and let you are just looking for a "good time!"

The thing about dating websites is that your first line on your 'about me' is your opener as well as closer, girls will know automatically if they are interested by it.

I don't think it's right to type anymore out, also I'm pretty lazy!
There are other sentences you could really improve on if you want the help PM me.

 

[blackdot]

I'll admit my profile it literally the most unusual one that anyone has ever seen.
I did it that way because:
1.) It gets responses.
2.) It's me.
3.) The plain ones never worked.

 

[theglasscell]

I thought Robbie's profile was fine. His pictures give the impression of a friendly and approachable person. I think that's really important.

I don't really like the way Plenty of Fish profiles are set up. It's just a blank space for you to write whatever. It can be a bit intimidating. I prefer OkCupid because the profile is divided into different questions and I feel it allows you to get a better idea of someone's personality.

I find it easier to write a good profile on there, in my area POF is kind of a waste of time. It tends to be more for New Jersey and Long Island people and people I'd consider mainstream.

OkCupid is definitely better if you are weird or artsy or into music.

I have a date at 7 tonight with a girl I met on there. I actually erased my profile a while back but she still had my number and we had texted each other on and off so I just figured I'd go meet her. I picked a billiards place in the city. I wonder if that's a good idea for a first date.

I've done the coffee shop date before and don't really like that so I figured billiards would be different but not as formal as a dinner.