Dating websites

[blackdot]

It always sucks when around other people who don't have issues with dating. At work, there are 2 of us that don't know anything about dating. Ironically we sit beside each other. She is single because she has no desire to be with anyone plus her lifestyle is way to strange for anyone else.
Having so many people around that are married, been divorced and getting married again, who have kids, who date all the time.. etc.. I am seen as just plain strange because I don't just go out and date. When I tell them I don't know how to, they get confused and say it's easy. You just go out an date. They have no answer in how to find a date because to most people it's just common sense.

 

[theglasscell]

It's not easy. For me it's also an issue of time.

I work nights during the week so if I make a date during the week I have to meet the person at 7 or 8pm and then leave so I can get to work by midnight.

So that limits me to the two nights of the weekend. Then if I make a date for those nights and the person cancels at the last minute that leaves me hanging.

So many times I have made dates from online sites and the girl will make plans and then the day of the date they text me to cancel.

Usually when that happens I don't reschedule I just never text them back or talk to them again.

I know a lot of people who have gotten boyfriends and girlfriends through joining Meetup.com groups. I was in a horror movie group for a while and there were several couples who had met through that group.

A lot of the meetup groups are pretty lame though.

I was in a writing one that had a ton of girls in it who were really friendly but it didn't really work with my schedule.

I always have a lot of luck with getting replies and getting people to agree to dates with online dating, I can write a really good profile.

But usually in person is where I seem to fall short.

I'm grateful that I have a kid. Although I don't get to see him often since him mom moved so far away, it is something that fills the void in an otherwise lonely life.

I don't think dating is as easy as some people make it out to be. Some people might just be good at that sort of thing. And of course it's easy for most women. Where I live in NYC it's pretty much impossible for a woman to go out and not get hit on. My mother is almost 60 and I've been out places with her where guys try cheesy pick up lines on her.

Even just going to a gas station.

 

[LeaningIntoTheMuse]

It always sucks when around other people who don't have issues with dating. At work, there are 2 of us that don't know anything about dating. Ironically we sit beside each other. She is single because she has no desire to be with anyone plus her lifestyle is way to strange for anyone else.
Having so many people around that are married, been divorced and getting married again, who have kids, who date all the time.. etc.. I am seen as just plain strange because I don't just go out and date. When I tell them I don't know how to, they get confused and say it's easy. You just go out an date. They have no answer in how to find a date because to most people it's just common sense.

That's what gets me.

They say, "Just ask her out." Well, what if she says no? She probably will, if I'm socially anxious...and I do suffer from social anxiety, so I have a reason for that...so therefore, it is easier, socially, NOT to ask her out, because even though I'm not going to get a date, at least I won't have a panic attack!

People who are confident, extroverted, and don't have two different mental illnesses don't understand. It isn't easy living with bipolar and social anxiety...on one hand, people treat you like a freak, and on the other, you feel like one.

 

[blackdot]

That's what gets me.

They say, "Just ask her out."

My response is always, "as who out?" They get confused and walk away.

 

[Runciter]

Anyone who feels the need to offer constant advice to people who haven't asked for it probably don't have anything useful to say anyway. Next time they ask just tell them you're thinking of becoming a priest, get down on your knees and start chanting. I'm sure they'll leave you alone.

 

[theglasscell]

I don't get where these situations turn up in the first place, where they expect you to just go ask her out, whoever this girl is.

I often see guys who are really cocky go up and hit on girls in the street or on the train, the girls don't just reject them, they react as if they are being assaulted, and in most cases it does come across as very creepy.

So they probably don't mean just go ask out any random girl you see in public. In bars, though, it seems to be the same way. Unless a girl approaches you first or makes some kind of obvious sign for you to approach if you just approach unsolicited you will get a bad reaction or else ruin her night.

I was waiting for a train once with a girl I was dating and another girl came up and was like "Can I pretend to be with you guys? This guy just asked me out and he is really creeping me out."

There seems to be this myth that guys can just go approach strange women, or that all it takes is some effort.

 

[blackdot]

Next time they ask just tell them you're thinking of becoming a priest, get down on your knees and start chanting. I'm sure they'll leave you alone.

unfortunately that would just encourage them to do it more. *laughs*

 

[Runciter]

unfortunately that would just encourage them to do it more. *laughs*

That's just your signal to start flopping around on the floor speaking in tongues as loudly as possible.

As for trying to chat-up women on the street or at bar, it is a little creepy if you ask me and I don't know anyone who has built a meaningful relationship from either.
One thing I try to do occasionally is to just stop a girl in the street and tell her that I think that she's really pretty and that I just wanted to let her know. I don't ask her for her name or number, just see how she responds and move on. I haven't come across many people in life (male or female) who don't like to be complimented. Making a girl feel good about herself and smile is a nice thing to do and it makes me happy to know I did that. It gives a great boost to my confidence and I recommend all of you guys with anxiety to give it a go, what do you have to loose?

 

[LeaningIntoTheMuse]

I would be laughing too hard to take them seriously, if they did that.

As far as me? I am too anxious. I'd probably make it more weird than comical.

 

[Dear-_-Tragedy]

I have been using OkCupid as my dating website and I was wondering if I could get a female's opinion on my profile. Because I don't know any of you it won't be biased either. So what do you say? Any females that would be so kind as to help me out could you pm me?

 

[Solivagant]

I have been using OkCupid as my dating website and I was wondering if I could get a female's opinion on my profile. Because I don't know any of you it won't be biased either. So what do you say? Any females that would be so kind as to help me out could you pm me?

What about your profile do you want an opinion on?

 

[Dear-_-Tragedy]

Do I come across as somewhat desirable/approachable enough for them to reply to my messages/message me? I know the proof is in if I actually get replies but I wouldn't mind some help if my profile really sucks.

 

[CM Vader]

Dating websites are rubbish as they're just words. It's a game really, you get judged on your looks and that's it.

You can't be judged on your personality online, it's just not possible. You can't make a woman laugh, you can't smell her, touch her, can't do anything but type needless crap to try and "win" her over.

It's a competition, a fake one.

 

[EveWasFramed]

You can't make a woman laugh....

Untrue! Im laughing even now.

 

[CM Vader]

You can't make a woman laugh....

Untrue! Im laughing even now.

At me or with me? lol.

 

[EveWasFramed]

You can't make a woman laugh....

Untrue! Im laughing even now.

At me or with me? lol.

At you, but in a good way, lol.

I assure you it's possible to make a woman laugh on line. Some of the folks on here have made me laugh until I actually cried.

 

[CM Vader]

You can't make a woman laugh....

Untrue! Im laughing even now.

At me or with me? lol.

At you, but in a good way, lol.

I assure you it's possible to make a woman laugh on line. Some of the folks on here have made me laugh until I actually cried.

Really? I duno, depends how long you talk to them I guess. I'd rather just talk to them for a short time online then meet them. The longer you wait the more drawn out it gets and the girl you're talking to could move on to someone else.

 

[LeaningIntoTheMuse]

Dating websites are rubbish as they're just words. It's a game really, you get judged on your looks and that's it.

You can't be judged on your personality online, it's just not possible. You can't make a woman laugh, you can't smell her, touch her, can't do anything but type needless crap to try and "win" her over.

It's a competition, a fake one.

Actually, you can:

Make a woman laugh, if you tell a joke.
I get the can't smell her part, but women don't all smell like roses
Touch her...well, it's a computer

You're going way too far. Online dating "does" work, for some men...but these men have to deal with the 4:1 men to women ratio, the amount of hot guys (who know they are hot and are only there for sex), and the amount of fake profiles and women who aren't really serious. These men who are successful send out thousands of emails, treat it like a job, and maybe get four dates in the process...and one of those dates "may" turn into a relationship.

Like I've said before, I don't know why you would subject yourself to that torture and constant rejection, but some guys are successful.

And then, you have the amount of guys and girls who get into relationships, leave their dating profiles up, and then forget to close them...and then you have people messaging them and no response.

 

[CM Vader]

Dating websites are rubbish as they're just words. It's a game really, you get judged on your looks and that's it.

You can't be judged on your personality online, it's just not possible. You can't make a woman laugh, you can't smell her, touch her, can't do anything but type needless crap to try and "win" her over.

It's a competition, a fake one.

Actually, you can:

Make a woman laugh, if you tell a joke.
I get the can't smell her part, but women don't all smell like roses
Touch her...well, it's a computer

You're going way too far. Online dating "does" work, for some men...but these men have to deal with the 4:1 men to women ratio, the amount of hot guys (who know they are hot and are only there for sex), and the amount of fake profiles and women who aren't really serious. These men who are successful send out thousands of emails, treat it like a job, and maybe get four dates in the process...and one of those dates "may" turn into a relationship.

Like I've said before, I don't know why you would subject yourself to that torture and constant rejection, but some guys are successful.

And then, you have the amount of guys and girls who get into relationships, leave their dating profiles up, and then forget to close them...and then you have people messaging them and no response.

People subject themselves to the torture as there is always hope that someone will accept you for who you are.

 

[LeaningIntoTheMuse]

People subject themselves to the torture as there is always hope that someone will accept you for who you are.

And what are you?

You have to ask yourself that? What do you want to present yourself as? This doesn't mean lying, but it does mean showing people your best side, as opposed to the side that keeps on getting rejected.