Deal Breakers

[Oldyoung]

Self-righteousness. When there's no room for discussion.

Power struggles. When a small disagreement affects every aspect of the relationship, not just what the issue is about. Don't agree with me about what to have for dinner? Then I will disagree with you about what to do this weekend, to punish you.

 

[Sometimes]

Oldyoung, yeah, that power struggle and punishment thing, that's so passive aggressive. Passive aggression is out out out.

 

[AmytheTemperamental]

Eagerness to abandon responsibilities to go somewhere else. Running and hiding isn't the answer to everything.

 

[Peaches]

physical coldness - argh, that's the worst

OK, maybe not THE worst, but it's pretty painful

 

[Bob Lee]

What are your deal breakers when it comes to relationships? What won't you tolerate? What have you tolerated, and regretted? Or perhaps what have you not tolerated, and regretted leaving?

I have tolerated a lot of stuff that I used to say I wouldn't. I used to say I wouldn't tolerate physical abuse..Went through a whirlwind period with an ex. Used to say I wouldn't tolerate cheating. But let that one slide, too. They are definite deal breakers now.

I am an easy going guy that's willing to let just about anything go....
The 3 D's below I would never forgive and would be the end of the relationship;

1.) Dishonesty
2.) Disloyalty
3.) Deliberate abuse of any kind

Any and all innocent or ignorant mistakes are easily understandable and forgiven.
The moment you start being disloyal, abusing one another for any reason, and flat out lying on everything....
The relationship is already a failure.

 

[AmytheTemperamental]

Questions my trust or guilt trips me because I am uncomfortable doing something.

 

[user 139760]

I got three rules;
1- Don't lie to me
2- Don't cheat on me
3- Don't try to be a mom to my kids.

Ironically, I have yet to meet someone who didn't, at one point or another, break one of the three. I don't think it's much to ask for and it's the exact same thing I offer back, yet, it seems none of them were capable to accept those bases.
Which of course, has led to my self-sustained exile into celibacy for over 10 years. I can't say I really regret it, either.

It also makes me think, naturally, that the best kind of love...is kept at arms' lenght.

 

[Old Dog]

Credit Cards
Credit Card abuse has cost me my retirement 3 times.

 

[Seahorse]

Can't stand dumb dumbs... I just can't

 

[Robert72]

Not being able to trust someone. If you can't trust them it's pointless and you may as well be signing up to get hurt.

 

[TheRealCallie]

Someone who can't communicate and talk about things in a rational manner.

 

[Aardra]

Incels.

 

[ewomack]

My ex-wife bullied me, emotionally abused me, didn't accept me for who I was, tried to change me with insults, made me feel like I wasn't good enough, and then she cheated on me. To add to it, we were working in the same building at the time and I found out from concerned co-workers that she was telling everyone that I was cheating on her. I wasn't. Some of them rallied to my defense and told me that she had to take it all back publicly. I never spoke to her again, even when I passed her in the hall. Even those few times she gave me "puppy dog eyes." After that, I never gave her anything but a blank stare and treated her like a stranger. Which made sense, because after all of that, she was a stranger. Who did I marry? How did I marry such a rotten human being? I intend to never speak to her again. Those were not only relationship deal-breakers, but life deal breakers that I will probably never fully forgive. I have no idea where she is now or whether she is even still alive. I will keep it that way.

Those are some of my deal-breakers. Hopefully I won't run into them again.

 

[Nicolelt]

My ex-wife bullied me, emotionally abused me, didn't accept me for who I was, tried to change me with insults, made me feel like I wasn't good enough, and then she cheated on me. To add to it, we were working in the same building at the time and I found out from concerned co-workers that she was telling everyone that I was cheating on her. I wasn't. Some of them rallied to my defense and told me that she had to take it all back publicly. I never spoke to her again, even when I passed her in the hall. Even those few times she gave me "puppy dog eyes." After that, I never gave her anything but a blank stare and treated her like a stranger. Which made sense, because after all of that, she was a stranger. Who did I marry? How did I marry such a rotten human being? I intend to never speak to her again. Those were not only relationship deal-breakers, but life deal breakers that I will probably never fully forgive. I have no idea where she is now or whether she is even still alive. I will keep it that way.

Those are some of my deal-breakers. Hopefully I won't run into them again.

Hopefully not, and even though that was an ugly situation, you know what you don't want, and know the warning signs. Had the same with my ex. My husband is the polar opposite.

 

[TheRealCallie]

Anyone trying to look sexy in bed...with their dog. Seriously, no. Don't do that. :club:

 

[Abstamyous]

Isn't willing to snuggle with me during Lord of the Rings at least once a week.

 

[Finished]

Conspires against me.

 

[Hazed]

Thinking that "night" is between 9 pm and midnight.

 

[Abstamyous]

Thinking that "night" is between 9 pm and midnight.

It's between 8pm and 11pm :club:

 

[Finished]

Doesn't brush their teeth.