Do ladies ever make the first move relationship-wise?

[Frito Bandito]

For example: this woman at work is an incredible flirt, exactly like you say, asking me places, double entendres etc. But I have noticed she is like that with every bloke she comes across. (And way worse with most of them !)

So it is just her way. I don't take her seriously anymore !

You are taking it wrong. When she flirts and engages you in conversation, she is not saying that she is "interested" in you, just as she is not saying that she is "interested" in every other guy (as you so claim).

She is simply being friendly and outgoing. She is giving you the opportunity to reciprocate and step up your game. It's an open door that you are choosing not to walk through. She may not let you walk through the door, but you won't know until you try.

Not all flirtateous women are actively slutty or trying to "lead someone on". Even I understand that.

Flirting can just be a fun way of breaking the ice, passing the time, and having fun. It also typically means that the person is OPEN to being "interested" in you, if you prove an interesting person.

If you recoil in horror when she flirts and can't reciprocate and play the game, what would you have her do?

I did ask this woman out for a meal last year. She said 'yes' so I asked for her number. She never gave it to me. It was all very odd. A few weeks later she finally gave me her number but I had a date lined up. When I have walked her home a few months later, all she talked about was me meeting somebody. Told me I should get out there and meet women. Don't really see her anymore.

Yikes! Fair enough! It sounds like you were legitimately dealing with an immature flake-tease. Sorry to hear that. I didn't mean to imply that it was your game that was at fault.

I was just commenting on the general notion that flirty women are teases or gameplayers. It's not necessarily true. I've known some really nice people (both men are women) that I was able to observe being "innocently" flirtateous. That word "innocent" is important because there is a fine line and it's hard to define, but we all know when we or another has crossed it.

I personally don't flirt. I am content simply being genuinely friendly and personable with the opposite sex while I am in a relationship. If in some casual interaction a girl plays that way I will walk the fine line of being "good natured" about it without reciprocating. My own personal standards there.

No one likes an excessive flirt.

 

[putter65]

For example: this woman at work is an incredible flirt, exactly like you say, asking me places, double entendres etc. But I have noticed she is like that with every bloke she comes across. (And way worse with most of them !)

So it is just her way. I don't take her seriously anymore !

You are taking it wrong. When she flirts and engages you in conversation, she is not saying that she is "interested" in you, just as she is not saying that she is "interested" in every other guy (as you so claim).

She is simply being friendly and outgoing. She is giving you the opportunity to reciprocate and step up your game. It's an open door that you are choosing not to walk through. She may not let you walk through the door, but you won't know until you try.

Not all flirtateous women are actively slutty or trying to "lead someone on". Even I understand that.

Flirting can just be a fun way of breaking the ice, passing the time, and having fun. It also typically means that the person is OPEN to being "interested" in you, if you prove an interesting person.

If you recoil in horror when she flirts and can't reciprocate and play the game, what would you have her do?

I did ask this woman out for a meal last year. She said 'yes' so I asked for her number. She never gave it to me. It was all very odd. A few weeks later she finally gave me her number but I had a date lined up. When I have walked her home a few months later, all she talked about was me meeting somebody. Told me I should get out there and meet women. Don't really see her anymore.

Yikes! Fair enough! It sounds like you were legitimately dealing with an immature flake-tease. Sorry to hear that. I didn't mean to imply that it was your game that was at fault.

I was just commenting on the general notion that flirty women are teases or gameplayers. It's not necessarily true. I've known some really nice people (both men are women) that I was able to observe being "innocently" flirtateous. That word "innocent" is important because there is a fine line and it's hard to define, but we all know when we or another has crossed it.

I personally don't flirt. I am content simply being genuinely friendly and personable with the opposite sex while I am in a relationship. If in some casual interaction a girl plays that way I will walk the fine line of being "good natured" about it without reciprocating. My own personal standards there.

No one likes an excessive flirt.

Your okay.

I think this woman is all talk and no action. She isn't a very nice person either and I was never really interested. But after all the flirting, I decided to test her to see if she meant it.

 

[petrovchanka]

I've had chicks make moves on me numerous times... unfortunately I have never been attracted to any of them. Coincidence?

Not a coincidence in the least bit. While I do agree with people in this forum that, in theory men and women should be equal in their pursuits, the men have making the first move on lock down. If a man is interested, he will go to great lengths to pursue a women...if he's not, then it is she who does the pursuing...and in all reality, if a man isn't "having it", he's just not having it. He's not into you if you (ladies) are doing the pursuing. Sad. VERY SAD, but true. There is no coinkydink with this, Zaney.

 

[perfanoff]

That's true most of the time but not always.

For one reason or another, I've pursued women a lot unsuccessfully, but it feels like most of my relationships were initiated by the girl.

Maybe that's why those relationships were dysfunctional. I don't know.

 

[lonelyfairy]

My boyfriend made the first move. :shy: Though, he is my first.

 

[Moe'sTavern]

If a woman was interested in me, I most likely wouldn't even know it. Subtle indications of interest are lost on me. I used to never approach due to the mindset of "she's too attractive to say yes to me" and the idea of not having anything going for me. I told a friend of mine that I liked her. Got rejected and now we don't talk anymore. Nowadays I'm too focused on school to really care about dating and worrying about approaching women. To the men who've actually had women show obvious interest in them and led to positive results....I tip my hat to you guys.

 

[Dissident]

I have a 100% failure rate of actually initiating a relationship; all of my relationships have started because a woman was blatantly interested. The "signals" are inconsistent between every woman I've met or spoken to that I knew was interested, so what few "instincts" I may have had regarding this wore away with time. It is something where I have actually managed to become less intelligent about it over time.

Unfortunately, each time I accepted someone I apparently had not learned that being choosy would have only brought me to the same ends for each of them. If I could just be more selective I at least won't be miserable with someone who drives me nuts. But going two or three years without someone can make one crazy for it.

 

[Evil_Genius]

I am truly sorry for you Dissident, I feel your 100% oblivious pain. But with help and work, you can climb to the lofty and unparallelled heights of 97% oblivious.

Subtle hints don't work, hints don't work. Telling us may work.

 

[LeaningIntoTheMuse]

Yes, if the guy is attractive.

 

[VanillaCreme]

Yes, if the guy is attractive.

You've just given in to short, witty replies, haven't you? Not every female approaches a guy based on looks. We could already know the dude, as in my story, and then make a move, as I did.

 

[Dissident]

Doesn't have to be looks.