I'm conscious of being single at social events, but in a way it empowers me. I watch couples and I think, cool - you're happy and together and that's fine, but I am single, and I am happy and together and I don't need anybody to validate me as a human being. At the same time I'm not closed to meeting somebody, but why worry when you're out enjoying yourself if you're single or not? Being with or without somebody doesn't make who you are as a person and anybody who thinks less of you because you're single isn't somebody I'd want to interact with anyway. Enjoy the fact that you are free to what whatever, whenever you want and when you aren't as conscious of being single, you will attract the type of people you want to attract!
Do Single People Stand Out More?
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AFrozenSoul
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@Chasm: Even better there is a chance I might get ended.
@TheSolitaryMan: In the end this is where we can agree to disagree. I will say nurture won this battle in my case. My mom spent my whole life teaching me to determine the value of something. So it is quite easy to apply what I learned as a child to this situation. Granted she will deny every doing such a thing. Either way that is how I view things. I find it to be a better way but that is just me.
Regardless love is one of those annoyingly gray things. That is probably the reason I hate it the most. Love can change in an instant or over time. People can define love for what is convenient for them. In the end it is just annoying to me.
@Sci-Fi: True, it does depend on the event. When I am at anime conventions people seem to not even notice I am there.
@jazzie85: lol I do not worry about that kind of thing at the event. This was an after thought. I was annoyed because people seemed to notice me more. So I was trying to figure out why. That way I could be a better ninja at the next event. This was clearly a more family driven event than other events I attend. It was just annoying is all. I just wanted my free food and booze and then to go home.
@TheSolitaryMan: In the end this is where we can agree to disagree. I will say nurture won this battle in my case. My mom spent my whole life teaching me to determine the value of something. So it is quite easy to apply what I learned as a child to this situation. Granted she will deny every doing such a thing. Either way that is how I view things. I find it to be a better way but that is just me.
Regardless love is one of those annoyingly gray things. That is probably the reason I hate it the most. Love can change in an instant or over time. People can define love for what is convenient for them. In the end it is just annoying to me.
@Sci-Fi: True, it does depend on the event. When I am at anime conventions people seem to not even notice I am there.
@jazzie85: lol I do not worry about that kind of thing at the event. This was an after thought. I was annoyed because people seemed to notice me more. So I was trying to figure out why. That way I could be a better ninja at the next event. This was clearly a more family driven event than other events I attend. It was just annoying is all. I just wanted my free food and booze and then to go home.
Chasm
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most ppl r evn far 2 selfish 2 kill othrs 2 put them outv their miseryAFrozenSoul said:
afraid of jail/hell/societal view
no
those nutjobs will just make u FEEL WORSE
n?AFrozenSoul said:
couldnt agree w/this more
but?
i thnk its bcuz most ppl cant ID luv
so they r applyng the word luv 2 thngs like lust/power/hormones
tru luv?
(if it xists >> iv yet 2 witness it)
wouldnt change
change means cancellation
cancellation means nevr being there in the 1st place
guess the q bcomes?
is there evn such a thng as luv
i would tend 2 believe nt
well nt on earth @ least
Code S.O.L
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I can definitely relate to the need to disappear into the background. All the people I've met through my sister are either in relationships or casually dating, and everytime my sorry *** is dragged out partying with them, I am ALWAYS 'the single guy'. I seem to lack the natural assertion/confidence that someone who's in a relationship/casually dating have. And I seem to stick out because of it.
AFrozenSoul
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@Chasm: Well I can always use a nudge towards suicide
@Code S.O.L: This is why I only go out with my siblings out of kindness. It is clear who the tag along is in most groups
@Code S.O.L: This is why I only go out with my siblings out of kindness. It is clear who the tag along is in most groups
Code S.O.L
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AFrozenSoul said:
Well, god rest her soul, she is trying her best to socially domesticate me. And hey. Peer pressure can be a real ***** sometimes.
It's a similar situation around my best friend from high school. Only this time the relationships are not only more stable, but some of them(like his brother) have produced kids. Although I feel like less of a tag along in his circle, the title of 'single' still sets me apart and still leaves me mostly alienated in group conversations.
...And even the multitude of Warhammer 40K/video game nerds I used to hang with casually in gamesworkshop have gradually found partners/dates/etc. Even amongst my own kind, I now find myself set apart as a 'single'. Everywhere I turn, the world is pairing up around me, all the while showing me its trollface and saying 'problem, dipshit?'
It's as you've said before in threads previous. Being 'single' is a social taboo. If you're not either in a relationship, or 'in the process of' finding one, then you are seen as a nobody. And the older you get, the more of a taboo it becomes. If I'm to be outcast as a nobody, so be it. That in itself doesn't bother me. What does bother me, is being thrown into situations where my status is thrown on display for the world to see. As strange as it sounds, I would feel less lonely within my own company, where nobody can see me for what I am.
IgnoredOne
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Being single isn't a taboo if it is perceived as a choice. Henry Kissenger, for example, regularly was single.
Code S.O.L
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...Maybe so, but didn't he marry twice? This tells me that not only did he intentionally stand out as a single, he could also stop whenever he chose aswell.
In anycase, how would I fool people into believing that staying single is my choice?
In anycase, how would I fool people into believing that staying single is my choice?
AFrozenSoul
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@IgnoredOne: True being single is not taboo if what you are doing has a perceived benefit to society. However, in order for being single to not be seen as taboo you have to be famous. We can say it is a choice all day long. At the end of the day. If society doesn't benefit from you, then it is taboo.
you just have to look to movies and TV to see how the world views single people. They may be exaggerated a little however, there is no outcry to make changes. More and more society matches the media.
@Code S.O.L: Yeah, it is annoying how society works. However, it does make sense why being single is taboo. The only way to remove that Taboo is to have reproduced while not single.
Anyway, we have to take the downside to being single. Such is life, just like you have to take the downsides of being taken as well. Sadly not being social will kill you in this regard.
Anyway, I am just babbling. I figure it is best to determine I am a lost cause and give up sooner rather than later.
you just have to look to movies and TV to see how the world views single people. They may be exaggerated a little however, there is no outcry to make changes. More and more society matches the media.
@Code S.O.L: Yeah, it is annoying how society works. However, it does make sense why being single is taboo. The only way to remove that Taboo is to have reproduced while not single.
Anyway, we have to take the downside to being single. Such is life, just like you have to take the downsides of being taken as well. Sadly not being social will kill you in this regard.
Anyway, I am just babbling. I figure it is best to determine I am a lost cause and give up sooner rather than later.
kinzeUK
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Yeah we stand out alright; I'm convinced I have some sort of large neon sign that hangs above my head wherever I go that screams "YEP! I'M SINGLE! ISN'T IT TOTALLY OBVIOUS?!".
Which is probably one reason why I never have any luck. I say one reason, I know there is a myriad of reasons as to why but for the sake of this topic and self-deprecating purposes, I shall just pick this one...
:club:
P.S. To TSM, your replies are excellent and as much as part of me is like our friend AFS here, I at least do know and agree with pretty much all you said as well as a couple of other people too. The one slight 'benefit' about being as depressed/numb as I am now is that I actually don't give a proverbial about being single. Why? Because I know that I am in neither an emotionally or financially (unemployed you see) position to even be capable of having a relationship. That and I can't attract women as a general rule of thumb (not the single ones anyway).
Oh and to AFrozenSoul - I DO sympathise with you man, but your way of thinking and logic well.......let's just say it's as ****** up and embittered as mine was/is. I don't know how old you are (I'm 37 going on 21) but I can tell you that what TSM said is very astute, I can tell you that just from experience. And to hopefully make you aware that there really are a lot more people both men AND women in the same boat. I bet there are at least a handful of females on here just like you or as good as; ever thought about making a post to try and attract a like-minded soul?
Which is probably one reason why I never have any luck. I say one reason, I know there is a myriad of reasons as to why but for the sake of this topic and self-deprecating purposes, I shall just pick this one...
:club:
P.S. To TSM, your replies are excellent and as much as part of me is like our friend AFS here, I at least do know and agree with pretty much all you said as well as a couple of other people too. The one slight 'benefit' about being as depressed/numb as I am now is that I actually don't give a proverbial about being single. Why? Because I know that I am in neither an emotionally or financially (unemployed you see) position to even be capable of having a relationship. That and I can't attract women as a general rule of thumb (not the single ones anyway).
Oh and to AFrozenSoul - I DO sympathise with you man, but your way of thinking and logic well.......let's just say it's as ****** up and embittered as mine was/is. I don't know how old you are (I'm 37 going on 21) but I can tell you that what TSM said is very astute, I can tell you that just from experience. And to hopefully make you aware that there really are a lot more people both men AND women in the same boat. I bet there are at least a handful of females on here just like you or as good as; ever thought about making a post to try and attract a like-minded soul?
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