Do you ever feel like you "missed the train"?

[Chris516]

Sounds stupid I guess, but do you ever feel like perhaps romantic inexperience in the past has messed you up in the present? I'm curious if others feel like this because it's something that I feel is very much the case with my life.

Basically my teen years were really crappy. I was bullied most of the time and it was only in my late teens that it stopped. I was unfit until I was about 19, so pretty much physically unattractive to girls.

That meant that hugging, simple kissing, all that kind of "innocent teen romance" stuff never happened for me. I never asked a girl out anywhere either.

Now I'm 21, with no change in experience. Girls have been flirting with me quite a lot lately, but I always feel acutely awkward because it's always in a highly sexual sense. Girls just assume that I know about all that stuff I guess, so I get very embarrassed and just don't know what to think or say :\

I just want to simply hold a girl's hand, or learn what kissing is like, but most agreeable ladies I meet jump straight to heavy innuendo/close dancing/outright offering of pretty rude stuff.

It's not that I don't want sex or that level of a relationship and I know more experienced guys would probably appreciate that sort of flirting. But when girls do that with me, it's like I'm being pushed in the pool at the deep end.

Anyone know what I'm getting at, or am I just rambling like a wally?

I feel like I have 'missed' several trains. Eternal happiness is illusive for me.

 

[MadMonkè]

you have instinct and its powerful stuff...
so go and hold the hell out of her hands man!

But then again... I did miss the train... will there be another one? do yo know what time it will come?

Curious that you mention instinct. This is kind of the thing, I can obviously act in a romantic/sexual manner instinctively, but it never feels appropriate to do so to me, so I just try to bottle that up.

I've never just told a girl I like her, or outright flirted. I just feel like that'd be offensive for some reason

Perhaps I should do that for a change? To continue the metaphor, I'm wondering if the tracks are still under construction!

To answer all your questions, Hell Yes.

take your time to build your tracks if you want. cuz then you will know where you want to take it.

if a girl likes you, she will give you a strong signal. if she really likes you, she will give you time to respond even as you choke on your words LOL (reference to 21 jump st.)

I think girls like the chase more than guys sometimes....

 

[pearl92]

same exact stuff happened with me. I am 20 and have absolutely no experience with love and relationships whatsoever. Its saddens me that I know people alot younger than me that understand love and girls more than I would ever be able to know in 10 years. I have full empathy for you. And hope you get to experience any of this

 

[tusk]

Curious that you mention instinct. This is kind of the thing, I can obviously act in a romantic/sexual manner instinctively, but it never feels appropriate to do so to me, so I just try to bottle that up.

I've never just told a girl I like her, or outright flirted. I just feel like that'd be offensive for some reason

Perhaps I should do that for a change? To continue the metaphor, I'm wondering if the tracks are still under construction!

I'm jealous of your situation, TSM. I wish I could meet more women casually like that, meet girls I can flirt with. That doesn't really exist in my world, to my sadness. So you're not in a bad position.
I think it's quite straightforward; you have some relatively simple things to try and it seems like you have enough opportunities to experiment. I think you just have to get over yourself, and think about her. If you were in her shoes, would you like to hear that someone liked you?

Re: the train, I don't think too much of my past. I just wonder where all the single girls are, and why my few friends barely have any friends themselves or why I'm the only one introducing friends to friends. This situation feels endless; like there are no obvious remedies. My social life is stale and I hate it.

 

[Code S.O.L]

Walked away from the train station sometime ago.

I mean, you know it's bad when your own mother says you've got no chance in hell at finding someone. And besides, having a girlfriend would most likely mean that I'd have to trade in my relatively carefree life. And I don't think I'm willing to do that.