Do you ever wonder who you would be without your loneliness/depression?

[SophiaGrace]

I would be much more shallow, I prefer myself exactly the way I am.

Then why are you on this forum?

 

[perfanoff]

Good question! I googled "life forum" because I wanted to chat about everything in life

 

[SophiaGrace]

Good question! I googled "life forum" because I wanted to chat about everything in life

Okay. *cocks her head*

 

[perfanoff]

Good question! I googled "life forum" because I wanted to chat about everything in life

Okay. *cocks her head*

Hi

 

[SophiaGrace]

Good question! I googled "life forum" because I wanted to chat about everything in life

Okay. *cocks her head*

Hi

Bonjour Monseigneur.

 

[perfanoff]

Belle Mademoiselle

 

[ardour]

Depression/loneliness is the response not the cause. Okay you choose how you feel to an extent but I'd rather focus on changing circumstances.

 

[perfanoff]

There's been a couple instances where moodiness has ruined it with potential friends, but for the most part depression/loneliness is the response not the cause.

This is something I have tried to convince a self-defeating friend about. His cause for depression has gone long ago but he's still stuck in the vicious loop.

 

[ardour]

okay edited a bit out...

People get accustomed to feeling a certain way maybe, or just being alone, since there's quite of bit of effort involved in being social. Isolation is like a comfort zone because nothing is required of you.

 

[perfanoff]

Yes exactly. The most important thing is to not beat yourself up for the past.

 

[ladyforsaken]

Yes exactly. The most important thing is to not beat yourself up for the past.

And then learn to forgive, and move on.

 

[lusker]

Never forgive, never forget, plan your revenge, and enjoy it cold.

Kidding!

Can't imagine who I'd be, but I imagine someone happier. And fatter, for some reason! For those out there wishing they could lose a few pounds, try misery, fear and heartache for a diet. Self-loathing beats the Mediterranean diet hands down.

And what is happiness? The momentary absence of sadness. Not a feeling I get when I am alone, but a feeling I can imagine when I'm with others. It's something to be shared.

 

[lonelyfairy]

i wonder it everyday. i would probably be much more confident, happier etc. without all those horrible things... but at least i am stronger now.

 

[frey12]

I would be a stupid moron. Friends make you less intelligent, less cerebral, less prone to critical thought. Most of my friends would of held me back intellectually and professionally.

 

[Badjedidude]

I would be a stupid moron. Friends make you less intelligent, less cerebral, less prone to critical thought. Most of my friends would HAVE held me back intellectually and professionally.

An intellectual professional like yourself should have noticed his grammatical mistakes before posting.

So I went ahead and fixed it for you.

By the way, your friends only pull you down intellectually if you're a weak-willed sponge and have no ability to choose better friends.

 

[jean-vic]

Not to sound egotistical, but I don't think I'd be as good a person as I am. I'm not saying people who aren't lonely aren't good, but I think suffering through it has made me, and, I'm sure, others, more sensitive to the needs of people around them. I can appreciate what it is like to go through hardship and I like to help those in need. Had I not been lonely, I may not have become as generous or caring as I am. Perhaps then, I shouldn't say loneliness has made me good, but it has given me a reason to care which I may not have had, otherwise.

If that makes sense.

 

[SophiaGrace]

Pain has made you more caring? it makes sense, since you've been through that you understand the pain of others better.

 

[lusker]

I would be a stupid moron. Friends make you less intelligent, less cerebral, less prone to critical thought. Most of my friends would of held me back intellectually and professionally.

Totally agree! I've had to dumb myself down for decades; but this is Australia. Stand out, get cut down or ostracised.

---

I would be a stupid moron. Friends make you less intelligent, less cerebral, less prone to critical thought. Most of my friends would HAVE held me back intellectually and professionally.

An intellectual professional like yourself should have noticed his grammatical mistakes before posting.

So I went ahead and fixed it for you.

By the way, your friends only pull you down intellectually if you're a weak-willed sponge and have no ability to choose better friends.

Totally disagree! If we could blithely pick and choose our friends then none of us would be posting here, am I right? Also, you could have made your point without throwing in the insult. In combination with the grammar-nazi attitude, make you sound patronising - which I'm sure you're not.

 

[SophiaGrace]

I would be a stupid moron. Friends make you less intelligent, less cerebral, less prone to critical thought. Most of my friends would of held me back intellectually and professionally.

Totally agree! I've had to dumb myself down for decades; but this is Australia. Stand out, get cut down or ostracised.

I disagree. I feel as if everyone has someone to teach someone else. I am always holding my breath when someone in class talks because I think maybe I have missed some hidden facet of their intelligence which would be an insult to them to miss.

Everyone knows something someone else doesn't. We just need to listen more and stop assuming that we know because then the door to learning closes for us.

Also, sometimes we try to justify why we are alone to make ourselves feel better...

 

[frey12]

Soph as usual you are correct, but i did not surround myself with those people. I was surrounded by bad people who would not be adding to my knowledge. I was surrounded for a very very long time by drug users, hopeless people, and abusive people. These people made up my majority, and really being more social doesn't mean you meet better people. It just means you meet more people.

The hypothetical here is what we be without our loneliness and depression. it doesn't say we get rid of the factors that help attribute or excerbate them.

PS. I totally used to claim i was superior when I was younger, and I quote, "didn't hurt other people." A statement that is now untrue, and frankly i justified it back in the day.

I disagree. I feel as if everyone has someone to teach someone else. I am always holding my breath when someone in class talks because I think maybe I have missed some hidden facet of their intelligence which would be an insult to them to miss.

Everyone knows something someone else doesn't. We just need to listen more and stop assuming that we know because then the door to learning closes for us.

Also, sometimes we try to justify why we are alone to make ourselves feel better...