Do you find yourself doing weird things due to loneliness?

[NerdGirl]

In an effort to be more introspective, I've been examining some of my 'weird' behaviors to find out why I do the things I do. I've noticed a lot of my oddness stems from loneliness. For example:

1) When I'm really lonely, I will go to Wal-Mart. I try and pick a cashier that looks really friendly, and I get really pathetically excited if they ask how my day was. If they don't, I'm really let down and feel like I wasted my whole trip to Wal-Mart. I realize this is absurd, but I so look forward to a friendly conversation with a stranger sometimes.

2) Since leaving my husband and moving here 9 months ago, I've collected small animals to try and dull my loneliness. I've collected a guinea pig (Augustus the Great), a gecko (Clark the Crass), and two parakeets, Lady Lucille and Lord Lawrence. Of course, none of these pets like to cuddle with me, so I'm still left lonely.

3) I sleep with a gigantic stuffed monkey that is probably 6ft tall. If he falls off the bed, I wake up to find him because I find it so unbearable to not share a bed with someone. I also realize this is quite pathetic.

4) I check the Craigslist "Missed Connections" section almost daily, secretly and fervently hope that someone will have felt a connection with me and post it on that website. This, too, is silly, but I can't resist checking, just in case.

Do you do anything as a direct result of loneliness? Or am I the only weirdo?

 

[Autumntranspire]

Your not the only one. :0
I don't know how it feels to not be lonely, so maybe it's just me. :b
I sleep with a giant frog.. Not 6 ft tall.. But abnormally big for a frog. :B

 

[Estreen]

I've slept with a frog... >_> I currently use a penguin; stuffed animals are awesome. Pillows can be too. >_>

I used to create games in my mind when I was younger when I had to go to bed because it always took me at least an hour or so to fall asleep and I'd end up feeling lonely, bored, and blah. So my pillow became an interactive playmate at times, lol. I know, I know; corny and pathetic maybe, but it got me through for YEARS.

 

[nomisfive]

"3) I sleep with a gigantic stuffed monkey that is probably 6ft tall. If he falls off the bed, I wake up to find him because I find it so unbearable to not share a bed with someone. I also realize this is quite pathetic. "

There is absolutely nothing wrong with that. In fact I've started doing something similar. Bed time is the most difficult time of the day for me - which is strange as I've never been in a relationship - and these last few weeks I've started to cuddle up to a pillow when I am half alseep and wake up holding it or cuddling it. The weird thing is that I find an odd type of comfort from it.
I suppose it must come from that part of me that wasn't to hold or cuddle up beside someone.

 

[evanescencefan91]

ya i'm 18 and still sleep with stuffed animals
and i'm planning to take them with me to college



spend a lot of time daydreaming
a more exciting and less lonely life if i wasn't a part of reality

i've had some time to adjust to being alone, so i don't think i've got a lot of weird habbits becuase of that

i would constantly write inconspicuous blogs just hoping someone would stop by to say they missed me too

*sobs*

just constantly checking my facebook hoping someone would comment wanting to hang out

but i was alone so no one

i've refrained from all this now

since it really just made things worse

 

[loketron]

its hard to stop my mind from going sometimes.
why me? why couldnt i have..? all the sad questions
i dont do very well single

 

[darkwall]

There was something really lovely about your post - like you're a sweet and funny person who sees things like a writer does. Argh. I mean it was very HUMAN, somehow.

I get the Wal Mart thing as well, but unfortunately I can only afford to shop in a place called LIDL's, which is a cheap and crappy superstore that smells weird and where no-one ever smiles.

As to one's behaviour when alone, well there is a lot of psychology to it. Since normal is a concept that only has meaning between people, once you are alone you are by default weird, which is probably why it sucks to be alone around groups, and the loneliest one ever feels is when there's a party next door.

So things like talking to yourself and not wearing the appropriate amount of clothing become quite LOGICAL when you're alone - in public, this would result in a conviction.

The other side of it though is that normality is actually an important thing that keeps us grounded. People can go pretty mental if they go for long enough without having a proper conversation. I think that's what's behind most "crazy" tramps - they're really just trying to get a reaction, even if it means being sworn at.

 

[Renkei]

i talk to myself and a rock back and forth
sometimes ill go outside and walk around my whole city hoping just someone will ask me whats wrong.
No one ever does....

 

[Lonesome Crow]

I used to sleep in my car...(usually right after a relationship break up) park in the front yard.lol
It's sort of the samething as sleeping with a monkey but on the other end of the specturm.
The big empty bed, empty bed room, and empty house...freaks me out if I'm left along.
So when I sleep in my car...it dosn't feel so big and empty..lmao

I used to wear shades, a sweater with a hood, and a baseball cap when I leave my house.
Isolate or disconnect myself from the world.

okay..what's weird now is...
I don't really care one way or the other wheather there's people in my life.
I went to the other extreem. I don't feel hurt or afraid anymore.
I'm used to being lonely I guess.
I'm around people most of the time now...I'm going through a stage of think people are fucken retarted again.
Sometimes when freind or people comes to visit me I feel like I'm white knuckling life again...lmao

This is really weird for me now becuase I used to be a really driven person.
I'm having a really hard time moving forward....even though I'm have a happy go lucky personality.
it's like I won't want anything anymore. I don't have fire in my ass or a desire to go do anything or accomplish anything.
It's as if I'm waiting for Jenni to jump out of her fucken grave in order for me to want to live again.
Even if I see a pretty girl...I play the fucken tape in my head. A relationship seem so fucken retarded..lol

 

[ledchick]

Lots of people perceive me as Lonesome put it..."Happy go lucky" when in reality I am quite hostile and downright MEAN, especially if someone trys to engage me in conversation or interupt me with a phone call. I do not like to have someone else initiate contact with me, if I want to talk to you then I will make the first move, otherwise LEAVE ME ALONE!
I also have do what others call 'strange things'...I know I could never sleep alone, it is quite difficult for me to sleep if my husband is not home with me. I tend to bring animals home or take them in, I like animals better than most people!
I refuse to participate in things like Facebook, MySpace, etc......because I think everyone on there is a huge liar, that they portray their lives to be MUCH MUCH better than they actually are.
I think that I have much stranger habits that stem from not my loneliness but from any number of my phobias....that is where I find that people think I am truly strange.....

 

[Nyktimos]

Because of anxiety, I'm not keen on over-friendly shop clerks. I'm there to do business, not be drawn in to some fake conversation. It bothers me I might have to respond to inane questions from people who don't really care.

As far as stuffed animals go, my girlfriend and I have a metal frame headboard. On her side there is a single teddy bear sitting amongst the metal. On my side there is no less than eleven lemurs, and I feel more like I have company in bed because of them than my girlfriend. They're familiar, soft, expect nothing (being stuffed animals), and even the cat likes them.

 

[NerdGirl]

sometimes ill go outside and walk around my whole city hoping just someone will ask me whats wrong.
No one ever does....

Reading this really made me think; I kinda do this, too, although I go to the park and read a book everyday instead of walking around. I always hope someone is going to strike up a conversation with me, but at the same time, I realize that I never initiate any conversations myself. If you saw someone else walking around, would you talk to them first? Maybe this is something I should work on. I am just always afraid of being intrusive.

 

[Brian]

I play air guitar.

Like, not just pretending to strum a few notes. I close my door and windows, crank up the music, and make sure I'm moving my hands appropriate to the notes and speed of playing. I go all out.

There is no way I would do that with someone else around.

 

[Luke_S]

I often catch myself contemplating things instead of actually doing them. Such as earlier I thought to myself,

"hmmm, what should I do tonight?..watch a dvd...that would be 2 hours used up....could do something else..."

Thats pretty much what the thought process goes like when I think in a 'detatched sense' because I often see myself from the third person perspective, almost as if I'm someone else judging what I'm thinking of doing next. Its a really stupid thing to do and wastes a lot of energy, its a habit I need to get out of.

I've noticed though that when I do something such as reading a book it makes me feel a lot better because all my thinking goes into the concentration of reading, also when I'm out running, I've heard thinking uses a lot of energy, so therefore my brain would naturally ease into acceptance of the exercise rather than actually contemplating the exercise as a whole.

 

[Irishdoll]

Sadly, I too have become accustomed to loneliness. It's taken years to cope. Not that I don't feel lonely anymore. I just deal with it in a numbing sort of inner way now.

In the day, I would go to parties (if I was asked) and sit by myself. No1 really talked to me. Unless they wanted something from me. (yes, I was a less than reputable girl, due to all of the sexual abuse as a child).
Later on, after I got married, I found out that ppl thought something was wrong with me. My husband would tell me that ppl would ask him what my problem was, because I wouldn't talk to anyone. He was embarrassed. I would be like `Why aren't they coming to talk to me either?'
No parental support, so I became rebellious and hated everything.

I guess, ppl thought I was weird because I loved the rain and storms. They made me feel happy and safe. I loved doing crafts that my grandmother taught me, sewing, gardening and other old fashioned things that most girls my age didn't care for. Not to mention, I was a huge tomboy. (Or, maybe it was just my reputation that made me an outcast) Either way, you learn to live with it in your own sort of funky way.

 

[Sodium]

I'd listen to my iPod in the bathroom.. Lip sync to the songs.. brush my teeth like a bunch of times.. I could spend hours in the bathroom.. no one bothers me when I'm in there..

Sometimes I'd put on a whole bunch of make up then wipe it all off..

I dont sleep with stuffed animals cuz they scares the crap out of me in the dark.

In public I'd chew my nails so I'd look like I'm busy doing something..

Facebook depresses me sometimes cuz its annoying seeing pictures of people doing a whole bunch of fun stuff that I was meant to do or of my friends from back in the states.

 

[GHOSTNYOURMIST]

I sometimes take a pen with me in the woods and write my feelings on the smooth bark of a tree.

Then I laugh at the thought of someone finding them and thinking what nut case would do this.

 

[Twitchy]

I sometimes post messages to total strangers and expect them to care.

Whoops... just did it again.

 

[PoWer2tHePeOpLE]

I sometimes post messages to total strangers and expect them to care.

Whoops... just did it again.

LOL

i have been cleaning and repainting my entire crapshack on the weekends.. this is maybe not weird but christ i wish i had something better to do than more physical work when i am supposed to be...?????
..doing something other than cleaning and painting this **** hole!

 

[Zak]

I have a weird habit of listening to all sentimental music and learning the lyrics and singing along till I become very sad. Then once I be blue, I will change the music to some disco tunes and download some dance moves and learn it and dance along till I feel "wtf. I can't do these simple moves. Maybe cos I am not fit. I should really workout". Then I download some workout video stuffs. Then I realize that, I don't have enough equipments to do anything in those videos. Next thing would be a feeling that learning some fighting methods will make me fit and I will download some kungfu or taekwondo or muay thai tutorials and start doing the moves. Then I will obviously get hurt on either knee or elbow cos I started doing it without proper exercise. Then I will hear a woman's voice somewhere far "Sanal, get up! I'm going to office."

Oh yeah then I will realize I was sleeping and that was mum calling. Wait I hear music!! Ohh yeah I played a song and went to sleep and it would be the same song playing which I kept on repeat last night.