Don't think I am ever going to get a girlfriend

[AaronAgassi]

I agree that sex for money is squalid. And I also cop to the ridiculousness of our struggles with higher expectations. What could be cleared?

 

[Josh]

People think its funny how I say I will probaly just get a gold digger now its not what I really want but its probaly the only thing I will end up with. I have no clue how to talk to girls or anything like that so pretty much I will need to either attract them through power or money since I am not really good looking and have no other way of attracting a girl.

Now before someone tells me all I have to do is talk to them and then I wish I could slap someone over the internet. It is just that I can not talk to women I don't know how its more confusing to me then anything I have learned at school and I have taken a lot tough class's

 

[AaronAgassi]

Obviously, to begin with, you do have to talk to them. And there's no reason not to. But of course, that's the very least of it.

 

[lonelygirl]

Josh,

Ironically,. I was reading an old back edition of 'Gear' magazine for men (my husband used to subscribe) today and it had some GREAT advice for learning to gauge women.

I'd be happy to share its contents with you if you want to PM me.

 

[Josh]

Obviously, to begin with, you do have to talk to them. And there's no reason not to. But of course, that's the very least of it.

I know I am supposed to talk to them but how do I approachthem and what do I say when I do should I tell them the atomic mass of oxgyen is 16 or what say hows the weather I really don't understand conversation at all. So I don't understand how I can just approach them and even if knew how to do that wouldn't have a clue what to say.

 

[lonelygirl]

Oh, Josh. I like how smart you are!

(PS can I mention that I hated all sciences except for very basic biology and ecology growing up?!)

I would first: try to find a place where the kind of girl who shares your interests may be.

If you like reading, hang out at the local bookstore. Or library. Make eye contact with each and every lady that walks by, even if she's ugly. Smile a little at the ones you find attractive.

Then, you look for a chance to strike up a conversation. You could just watch what she's reading and go and pick up a book nearby her area. And just 'pretend' to notice the title of the book she's reading, etc. This gives you an entre to talking to her.

Baby steps, my friend. Baby steps.

 

[Josh]

Oh, Josh. I like how smart you are!

(PS can I mention that I hated all sciences except for very basic biology and ecology growing up?!)

I would first: try to find a place where the kind of girl who shares your interests may be.

If you like reading, hang out at the local bookstore. Or library. Make eye contact with each and every lady that walks by, even if she's ugly. Smile a little at the ones you find attractive.

Then, you look for a chance to strike up a conversation. You could just watch what she's reading and go and pick up a book nearby her area. And just 'pretend' to notice the title of the book she's reading, etc. This gives you an entre to talking to her.

Baby steps, my friend. Baby steps.

Um don't read much think thats where my problem begins I don't go out in public much I go to to school work and home pretty much it. I have been with same people in my class's for a while since pharmacy is a small program so no chance to meet women there due to fact most are married or have a Boyfriend at work everyone is older then me by far. So I really don't know where I would start to go and try and find someone.

 

[Josh]

Oh, Josh. I like how smart you are!

(PS can I mention that I hated all sciences except for very basic biology and ecology growing up?!)

I would first: try to find a place where the kind of girl who shares your interests may be.

If you like reading, hang out at the local bookstore. Or library. Make eye contact with each and every lady that walks by, even if she's ugly. Smile a little at the ones you find attractive.

Then, you look for a chance to strike up a conversation. You could just watch what she's reading and go and pick up a book nearby her area. And just 'pretend' to notice the title of the book she's reading, etc. This gives you an entre to talking to her.

Baby steps, my friend. Baby steps.

Oh and I am not really that smart I have a hard time beliving there are dumb and smart people in the world it is just if you apply your self and generaly anyone I have met knows something about some subject I just happen to have a good understanding of chemistry physics and most science which for some reason looks smart.

I consider someone that understands and can interact in a social enviorment just as smart as me because they understand something I don't.

 

[Blue Sky]

Oh, Josh. I like how smart you are!

(PS can I mention that I hated all sciences except for very basic biology and ecology growing up?!)

I would first: try to find a place where the kind of girl who shares your interests may be.

If you like reading, hang out at the local bookstore. Or library. Make eye contact with each and every lady that walks by, even if she's ugly. Smile a little at the ones you find attractive.

Then, you look for a chance to strike up a conversation. You could just watch what she's reading and go and pick up a book nearby her area. And just 'pretend' to notice the title of the book she's reading, etc. This gives you an entre to talking to her.

Baby steps, my friend. Baby steps.

I think that lonely girl gave you some very good advice here, and it's something to consider.
Say that you were to act on this advice and it went wrong, what would happen to you..... nothing.
You pick yourself up, and you try again.
And the more you try, the easier it will become and the more confidence you will gain in yourself. For a start you could just do the smiling, that lonely girl suggested, then when you a comfortable with that, take it a little further. You might just find that you get a few smiles back.

 

[AaronAgassi]

Josh, I think that you are now getting bad advice. And I'll tell you why. This the same sort of unthinking presumption I see so endlessly on this forum. They are all simply falling back upon prevailing common sense or conventional wisdom, social mythology that they all regurgitate. They fail to think for themselves or to investigate at all.

Now, of course, I see little harm in trying to chat up a girl in a bookstore. You might even ask about what she's browsing and then respond somewhat intelligently.

But, again, obviously all of that is the very least of it, and realistically, won't help you much.

I suggest that before strategizing contrived flirtation and desperate seduction techniques, it might be more fruitful first to begin interviewing you about the conversations you normally need to have in the course of an average day, and see what there might be to howsoever further cultivate.

We should also undertake some however rudimentary social network analysis, in order to better bring to bear whatever your assets of social capital.

I am sure that there is much more to know before any really useful strategy can emerge.

 

[keeper]

I have the same problem as Josh, so I thank everybody suggested anything about this topic.
I'll soon start trying!

 

[AaronAgassi]

Then my recommendation of a different and more serious investigative approach applies to you no less than to Josh, keeper.

 

[keeper]

Of course, AaronAgassi, I've read carefully your last posts and I agree with you. I'll post here the results of my investigations.

 

[AaronAgassi]

I don't think you get it.

 

[keeper]

Mr AaronAgassi,

I appreciate every suggestion and also every kind of constructive criticism.

A sentence like "I don't think you get it" sounds like "you are stupid". I don't accept any offence from anyone.

From now on I will ignore you.

 

[AaronAgassi]

I said that I don't think you get it, simply because I don't think that you get it. And yes, I do find it frustrating, if you must insist upon reading between the lines. Nevertheless, you taking offence is unhelpful. So if you want results in resolving a crucial problem, then it's high time to get serious instead of being so damn touchy and lackadaisical.

 

[keeper]

First of all, I'm not touchy: I think that any statement has to be well grounded. Besides, saying "I don't think you get it." without providing an explanation is unhelpful. I haven't read anything between the lines, just your arrogant statement.
That's all.

 

[Achpoques]

B-b-b-ballin! Keeper owned Aaron ftw

 

[AaronAgassi]

Explaining myself would be thankless and difficult.

 

[Josh]

Mr AaronAgassi,

I appreciate every suggestion and also every kind of constructive criticism.

A sentence like "I don't think you get it" sounds like "you are stupid". I don't accept any offence from anyone.

From now on I will ignore you.

Wow thats a huge assumantion. I am almost worried for you if you can take that and warp it into that and belive it.

Well anyways I think I can explain what you did get lonelygirl and others just wanted to try and give me some generic ways with common ways people meet. Now Aaron said this isn't that effective that it would be much better if was to find out a persons socail patterns and what social interactions they have in a day. This is why he said you don't get it because in order for him to help you first he would need to find out some person infomation so by you just saying you would post the results of your investigations you didn't understand how he wanted to help to start with you and him should have discussed your social patterns and what social interactions you have in a normal day.

Now you can take this info however you want to just hopefully you can take the good from this and more so from Aaron someone that is just trying to be helpful.