Emotional Manipulators - Version 2.0

[Intranetusa]

My ex was all those things except 5.
For instance, he wanted an open relationship and I didn't and he eventually got me to the point where I was apologizing to him for it because I was immature (as he said it) for being too jealous to allow him to sleep with other people. And if I would just get passed that immaturity, we could be happy.
My current boyfriend tries to do number 3 and fails at it. XD But I think he might just forget things he's said.

Open relationship? :club:

Sounds like my ex. Dude's screwed over in the head, partially due to his past and up-raising. But most of it is how he decides to treat people.

1, 4, 7 & 8. An ex of mine. By the end of the relationship I had been trained not to try to bring up any of my emotional needs. Of course, I told them how I really felt the night we broke up. They couldn't take how I really felt about them. =l
I spent most of the relationship tip-toeing around them emotionally because they seemed so fragile, but looking back I realize they cried to manipulate me, because they knew tears would make me feel like a bitch. -_-
There's more to the story but I'd rather not go into that.

Wow...how did you gals all end up with those types of people in the first place?

 

[IgnoredOne]

Wow...how did you gals all end up with those types of people in the first place?

For better or worse, confidence is very attractive. A lot of jerks are confident, either because they can't see their own flaws or they're very comfortable with them.

Also, some individuals who are genuinely sociopathic often have /incredible/ self-belief because they can't see how anything is wrong with them(and as noted, often have arguments supporting themselves) and such immense self-belief does engender others to agree with them.

This is also why salespeople are taught to believe in their products and lawyers to believe in their clients; passion is contagious, including narcissistic behavior sometimes.

 

[tangerinedream]

Wow...how did you gals all end up with those types of people in the first place?

For better or worse, confidence is very attractive. A lot of jerks are confident, either because they can't see their own flaws or they're very comfortable with them.

^^^This. Also, some of those same individuals are inclined to game-play and manipulation and I swear that they can sense low self-esteem rippling off a woman in waves and zero in on it.

 

[tangerinedream]

NECROPOST ALERT - but this is a good topic, and timely, so I'm bumping it.


I knew the ultimate emotional manipulator whose tactic, ironically, was to accuse others of being emotional manipulators and take the self-righteous road when in truth, he resorted to an arsenal of passive-aggressive tactics, and upon a closer read-through of the list Kenny so thoughtfully provided, he did ALL of them - really, the trademark of the emotional manipulator.

In addition, he relied heavily on histrionics: blowing **** way far out of proportion for the sake of drama, all the while accusing everyone else around him of being drama queens and attention whores. His main offense was one of deflection.

On occasion, he'd veer away from passive aggression and bluff, bluster and bully people with emotional terrorist tactics: shouting down others, actively twisting people's words, and constantly asserting that his view or interpretation of events was the only correct version: Very black and white and closed-minded.

 

[Ox Blood]

My ex would do that. He called me the psychotic one, the "victim", the dramatic one, and the over-emotional manipulator. Yet, over a year and a court-issued restraining order later, he still stalks and harasses me.

Needless to say, I'll be damned if I bother with another man-child ever again. Lesson learned. (D)

 

[VanillaCreme]

Read the original post again, and I can say now that I know someone who's all of it. Can't get a bit of sense out of them if you did choke the life from them, yet couldn't talk a bit of sense into them if you stomped it into their brain. Needless to say, I don't even bother trying to talk to them much anymore. I don't see the point in trying to talk to someone specifically on a personal level, and they don't even bother to listen to anything. I don't like wasting my words.

 

[Sci-Fi]

I take it the bump in this post is about the OP. Seems we have to constantly remind people here that openly bashing/attacking/insulting other members IS NOT ALLOWED. When it comes to personal issues between members that is best kept to PM's and between those involved, not to air publicly on the forums. If anyone is having a problem with another member PM a moderator if intervention is needed.

 

[tangerinedream]

I bumped it because it was a timely post. What the OP wrote happens to be relevant.

 

[Sci-Fi]

I bumped it because it was a timely post. What the OP wrote happens to be relevant.

Like I said, and which has always been made clear on this site, personal attacks against other members is not allowed. Your bumping of this thread and direction towards the OP is exactly that. Timely or not it is between you two and not the rest of the community.

This is to EVERYONE because this has been going on A LOT lately on this site. I personally am getting tired of all reports and complaints when people post in the Diary section or the 5 Things/ALL member thread, etc, airing personal laundry. Whether between a few people or from what happens in chat. So many people have been complaining about this yet continue to be part of it. It has to stop. Just because a name isn't mentioned doesn't mean that person doesn't know that it is directed towards them.

There have been several complaints about how it affects the atmosphere of the forums and for new members coming on seeing all the drama. Let's make a change for the better and stop this kind of behaviour.

 

[Lonesome Crow]

Growning in a DYSFUNCTIONAL enviornment and surviving Toxic relationships,
when normal isnt normal. Ive expeeinced everything on that list
plus alot more. Drugs and alcohol abuse plays a major factor.

I entered recovery at a very young age becuase somewhere inside
of me I felt something was wrong..very wrong.

Someone reminded me that I also experinced love and was exposed
to positve enviornment to prevent me from being a serial killer.
Or my soul was not evil so I became self destructive and suiecidal.

---

The first time I read the 13 basic traits of Aduilt Child
of Acoholics I was like Holy ****!!!!....it described me
to the key. The one that srood out was that acoa gets
involve in toxic relationship over and over again....
Self sabatage or playing the victim consiously and subconsiously.
Like i was conditioned, trainned or programmed like a fucken dog.

---

Would i be damaged forever? Damaged goods..

Recovery had been a journey. Im not fulley well
evidently. Some progress are slow. SometimesI
I also revert to my old ideas, beliefs and hàbits.

I try to focus on solutions and keep an openmind as best
I can. Its not easy sometimes when my emotions
are mooshed which colure my perceptions of
seeing life with rose colured glasses.

Logically I can figured it out. Ive read recovery
literatures and many healty living materail
hundreds of times.
My heart and feelins however...just cant seem
to grasp it or get it.
This creates conficts within me. Therefore
creates conflict on the outside.

---

Enternal conflicts is a ****** up place to be.
Its a problem....

I need and want solitions.

 

[VanillaCreme]

There wasn't any attacking, Sci.

 

[Sci-Fi]

Really? Let me quote what I'm taking about and bold it then.

I knew the ultimate emotional manipulator whose tactic, ironically, was to accuse others of being emotional manipulators and take the self-righteous road when in truth, he resorted to an arsenal of passive-aggressive tactics, and upon a closer read-through of the list Kenny so thoughtfully provided, he did ALL of them - really, the trademark of the emotional manipulator.

In addition, he relied heavily on histrionics: blowing **** way far out of proportion for the sake of drama, all the while accusing everyone else around him of being drama queens and attention whores. His main offense was one of deflection.

On occasion, he'd veer away from passive aggression and bluff, bluster and bully people with emotional terrorist tactics: shouting down others, actively twisting people's words, and constantly asserting that his view or interpretation of events was the only correct version: Very black and white and closed-minded.

That right there, assuming that the "Kenny" Tangerine is referring to is the OP of this thread and who she is talking about, that is an out attack and slandering of another member. That's not an attack against him? Sure sounds like one to me.

I did not come to this conclusion on my own, I know nothing of either of their history or why they want to direct mean things towards each other. This was brought to my attention, and after reading what was written saw it as an intent to openly discredit and slander him, no matter what he may or may not have done.

Whether he deserves it or not, it is NONE of any other members business to know these things because two people have a falling out.

 

[tangerinedream]

..

FTR I was talking about someone who was in my real life with whom I had a real-life relationship.

 

[Lonesome Crow]

The way i precieved it was that TD was refering to
someone she knows not the OP..or the list that the OP
provided.
You only highlighted starting from Kennys name....which
takes it out of context....

we see only what we want to see oe live in denial.

---

the samething happens when people only
refer to a verse in the bible but not read the enire
chapter or getting the whole picture...

The verse gets taking out of context and is intuprate
to whatever is cleaver.

---

im assiming TD is refering to CTfs ex husband.lol

---

One solution of dealing with manipulator is
to SURRENDER.

Surrender by some is view as weakness.

The spiritual principle of siurreder is to sieze
fighting,

If youre not in boxing match with a manopulator
anymore....your bottons arnt going to get pushed?
You win...

---

You can also suurender to your pains or embrace
your pains...

Eventaully your figure out...dealing with a manipulator
is too damn painful...like putting your hand on
a hot burning stove.lol
Its go into your longterm memories.
Your lomg term memeries only stores what is
important.

 

[VanillaCreme]

You can't just assume that, Sci, but okay. At least make sure first.

 

[Badjedidude]

lol