0mgofhappiness
Well-known member
Living is, having someone to provide for, a reason for living, sharing your passions. Going to bed at the end of each day feeling like you have accomplished something.
Existing, you are alive,but not living. Countless times, most of my thoughts are, I even procrastinate taking my own life.there is a lot of courage in that. To be stood on the edge of a cliff and jumping. I can't even accomplish that, I have to ask for help even to end my own life. I have an illness that cannot be cured. So why don't I just do it. I feel hopeless, physically unavailable, unemployable. People put their fingers in there ears or cringe as I speak, is it what I am saying or is it the cringe tone of my voice.
I was used in a bet. You see, I had a divorce, became a shadow of my former self, got considered the village idiot. Someone was paid alot of money to do the deed with me if you like. Now there is no going back from that. The only reason someone wanted my company was because it was a bet that he could sleep with someone as disgusting as what I became. Divorce makes you ugly. You see beautiful women? It's because they have a man that tells her she is beautiful, don't be tricked that she loves herself, it's because she knows every man wants her, same as with guys I suppose? A good looking man knows his worth because of the feedback he gets from onlookers. So do not be fooled by the love yourself crew. It is not as cut and dry as that.
I hear some ask. Your point being? To answer that, well instead of a lost I read about someone tying someone to a chair and hitting them with a baseball bat, more or less explains that they want to kill someone. I am writing a feeling. It's not violent in anyway. Of people are allowed to speak on here about tying people up and baseball batting them and get likes for it. Fair enough. So if this ever gets read. I would rather read this than read about people getting smashed over the head with baseball bats on a forum for the lonely and depressed.
Existing, you are alive,but not living. Countless times, most of my thoughts are, I even procrastinate taking my own life.there is a lot of courage in that. To be stood on the edge of a cliff and jumping. I can't even accomplish that, I have to ask for help even to end my own life. I have an illness that cannot be cured. So why don't I just do it. I feel hopeless, physically unavailable, unemployable. People put their fingers in there ears or cringe as I speak, is it what I am saying or is it the cringe tone of my voice.
I was used in a bet. You see, I had a divorce, became a shadow of my former self, got considered the village idiot. Someone was paid alot of money to do the deed with me if you like. Now there is no going back from that. The only reason someone wanted my company was because it was a bet that he could sleep with someone as disgusting as what I became. Divorce makes you ugly. You see beautiful women? It's because they have a man that tells her she is beautiful, don't be tricked that she loves herself, it's because she knows every man wants her, same as with guys I suppose? A good looking man knows his worth because of the feedback he gets from onlookers. So do not be fooled by the love yourself crew. It is not as cut and dry as that.
I hear some ask. Your point being? To answer that, well instead of a lost I read about someone tying someone to a chair and hitting them with a baseball bat, more or less explains that they want to kill someone. I am writing a feeling. It's not violent in anyway. Of people are allowed to speak on here about tying people up and baseball batting them and get likes for it. Fair enough. So if this ever gets read. I would rather read this than read about people getting smashed over the head with baseball bats on a forum for the lonely and depressed.
