Extreme shyness

[wolfblood]

Hey!

I was wondering if any of you experienced extreme shyness. I don't know how to call it. Anxiety maybe?

The thing is whenever I have to present some project in college, I turn red, I forget my words, I feel my heart racing out of my chest.

How should I deal with this?
Are there some tricks to overcome anxiety?
Not medicine or herbs, etc. Just... mental tricks? Like, maybe if I could trick my mind into thinking that no one's seeing me when I talk, if I could act as if I'm alone, talking in front of a wall, even when 10 people are starting at me, maybe I could control my shyness. I've tried to do it, but it didn't work. But maybe I've been doing it wrong?

I don't know...

Anyway... Thank you for reading this, everyone!
You're the best!

 

[TropicalStarfish]

I don't know if this advice applies to shyness, but, I heard some one tell me, something some one told them about public speaking.

They said, they pick one person out of one row, and sort of just talk to them, and focus on them, until they feel they have their attention, and that person is engaged. Then they move on to one person from the next row, repeat, then the next row, repeat, etc..

I had a chance to try this once, at college, though I was so nervous, I'm sure I screwed it up, and it was just awkward for everyone.

I think they say public speaking is like everyone's number one fear.

The only thing I can think of is, maybe start off with a joke? It's risky, but, I feel like: making people laugh, can really give a sharp boost of confidence, and it relieves tension, both for the giver and receiver (if the joke lands properly).

Other than that, I can't think of anything. And from what I have observed, good public speakers tend to intersperse a bit of comedy into whatever they are talking about, even deep philosophical stuff, so, dunno, worth a try.

I have virtually no experience with public speaking though so..

 

[wolfblood]

I don't know if this advice applies to shyness, but, I heard some one tell me, something some one told them about public speaking.

They said, they pick one person out of one row, and sort of just talk to them, and focus on them, until they feel they have their attention, and that person is engaged. Then they move on to one person from the next row, repeat, then the next row, repeat, etc..

I had a chance to try this once, at college, though I was so nervous, I'm sure I screwed it up, and it was just awkward for everyone.

I think they say public speaking is like everyone's number one fear.

The only thing I can think of is, maybe start off with a joke? It's risky, but, I feel like: making people laugh, can really give a sharp boost of confidence, and it relieves tension, both for the giver and receiver (if the joke lands properly).

Other than that, I can't think of anything. And from what I have observed, good public speakers tend to intersperse a bit of comedy into whatever they are talking about, even deep philosophical stuff, so, dunno, worth a try.

I have virtually no experience with public speaking though so..

This is very useful advice! Thank you very much! I'll try it! Although I'm not good at telling jokes. But I'm clumsy and that makes people laugh, so... We'll see. I could walk in the class stumbling : )

 

[TropicalStarfish]

This is very useful advice! Thank you very much! I'll try it! Although I'm not good at telling jokes. But I'm clumsy and that makes people laugh, so... We'll see. I could walk in the class stumbling : )

I dunno if it's useful advice, heh, but thnx. Good luck!

 

[wolfblood]

I dunno if it's useful advice, heh, but thnx. Good luck!

It really is. Thank you!

 

[147]

Sounds like an anxiety attack, with the heart racing.

So I'm absolutely terrified of all that stuff myself, to the point where - when I was expected to do a presentation at university one day - I stayed home the entire week pretending to be sick, just so I'd have an excuse to not do the presentation (which was on a Thursday). Not ideal at all. I've ditched various appointments I was supposed to go to throughout the years, due to simply being terrified of it (one was a job interview even!).

However, there was one notable situation that I'll always remember, which falls under the mental hack category you're asking for.
It was a different presentation I was supposed to hold in front of class at university, and of course I was scared to death, but what I did was, I PRETENDED to be super confident at it. I didn't make it about how I was feeling as much as the image I wanted to present of myself to everyone else in class. And it worked like crazy! I literally just pretended within myself that I was confident, that I had done this sort of stuff a hundred times, I spoke with confidence and in a manner that didn't even leave any doubt to anyone that I wasn't sure of what I was talking about.

I could just sense from the overall atmosphere that it worked, that I came across as fully in control, and that everybody was gaining the impression of me that I was giving out.
It is actually, to this day, a very nice memory! Maybe you can do something along these lines!
Just pretend. Pretend you've done it a million times and it's no big deal.

 

[wolfblood]

Sounds like an anxiety attack, with the heart racing.

So I'm absolutely terrified of all that stuff myself, to the point where - when I was expected to do a presentation at university one day - I stayed home the entire week pretending to be sick, just so I'd have an excuse to not do the presentation (which was on a Thursday). Not ideal at all. I've ditched various appointments I was supposed to go to throughout the years, due to simply being terrified of it (one was a job interview even!).

However, there was one notable situation that I'll always remember, which falls under the mental hack category you're asking for.
It was a different presentation I was supposed to hold in front of class at university, and of course I was scared to death, but what I did was, I PRETENDED to be super confident at it. I didn't make it about how I was feeling as much as the image I wanted to present of myself to everyone else in class. And it worked like crazy! I literally just pretended within myself that I was confident, that I had done this sort of stuff a hundred times, I spoke with confidence and in a manner that didn't even leave any doubt to anyone that I wasn't sure of what I was talking about.

I could just sense from the overall atmosphere that it worked, that I came across as fully in control, and that everybody was gaining the impression of me that I was giving out.
It is actually, to this day, a very nice memory! Maybe you can do something along these lines!
Just pretend. Pretend you've done it a million times and it's no big deal.

Great advice! Thank you for taking the time to write such detailed response!

I will try to pretend I'm confident, and see how that works. I've never tried it before, that's for sure.

Also, I'd like to try the "under pressure" method. It's the one in which I'd pretend it's a life and death situation. I'd have to give my best, otherwise I won't be getting what I need. Like for instance, my food supply, I could pretend it depends on succeeding at that one presentation.