Failure

[Drew88]

Its a big issue for me, I fail at everything I do. There is nothing I am good at, where I can have pride. At this age I should have something.

 

[SophiaGrace]

Should statements are very shame inducing.

 

[Drew88]

Should statements are very shame inducing.

K, its true though. Never win and its not like I am never in a place where I can I just always do the wrong thing. I try and try to pay attention, to know what I am doing and some how I always fail.
Is it wrong to want pride?

 

[ajdass1]

I haven't read any of your other posts, disclaimer, so I don't really know if you have talked about this before. But from your post I still don't know anything. What are your failures? Are they real or do you just think you've failed? How bad are you at taking stock of your successes?

"I fail at everything" is too broad. You can't "not fail" at everything. You can't succeed at everything. If you look at playing guitar for example, it's not as simple as, "I can't play guitar therefore I'm a failure." You have to take baby steps before you can run. For guitar you need to play your boring tedious scales before you can play a song, so you fingers can know what they're doing.

And if your fingers are too big or unwieldy to play guitar maybe you should try drums instead. And then you can learn to play the drums to mary had a little lamb before you can play the drums to Chapter of Obeisance Before Giving Breath to the Inert One in the Presence of the Crescent Shaped Horns by Nile. You see where I'm going with this lengthy and clumsy metaphor I''m building?

 

[Drew88]

I haven't read any of your other posts, disclaimer, so I don't really know if you have talked about this before. But from your post I still don't know anything. What are your failures? Are they real or do you just think you've failed? How bad are you at taking stock of your successes?

"I fail at everything" is too broad. You can't "not fail" at everything. You can't succeed at everything. If you look at playing guitar for example, it's not as simple as, "I can't play guitar therefore I'm a failure." You have to take baby steps before you can run. For guitar you need to play your boring tedious scales before you can play a song, so you fingers can know what they're doing.

And if your fingers are too big or unwieldy to play guitar maybe you should try drums instead. And then you can learn to play the drums to mary had a little lamb before you can play the drums to Chapter of Obeisance Before Giving Breath to the Inert One in the Presence of the Crescent Shaped Horns by Nile. You see where I'm going with this lengthy and clumsy metaphor I''m building?

I see though when I do things like that I always hit a glass celling of sorts and can not progress

 

[Lone Apothecary]

There's a quote from Einstein that always comes to my mind when I start thinking I'm a complete failure.

“Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.”

Anyways, how, pray tell, do you measure successes and failures?

 

[BrokenInside]

Life is full of screw ups, who doesn't fall?? Try to figure your weak points and work on them.

Success is stumbling from failure to failure with no loss of enthusiasm - Winston Churchill

 

[soresoul]

Failure is part of life. I failed at alot of things. Gotta pick up the broken pieces and try again.

 

[isthatso]

Its a big issue for me, I fail at everything I do. There is nothing I am good at, where I can have pride. At this age I should have something.

The worst kind of failure is not trying.
Giving in to our negative thoughts.
Letting them win.
Sorry I don't mean fighting your negative thoughts.
Just learn to ignore them.
When we are depressed, negative thoughts are like an invading army, doing a 'blitzkrieg' on us. better to let them just march right past and wait for pragmatic, cheerful thoughts to appear! Like sunny weather!

---

Also don't get hung up on "success" and "failure". They're only societal constructs, then our own interpretation on top of that.

Our idea of "success" is usually an illusion anyway.

here's my defintion of "success" now:

"You've stopped hating yourself and others. Or at least you're on the way. Hate and revenge don't preoccupy your thoughts anymore."

A lot of people can't achieve that kind of success in life, despite attracting all the riches and beautiful partners they want.

I think I'm on the way to my defintion of success but still have a long way to go.

 

[Okiedokes]

Ok ... I was just reading something earlier and I want to share it with you. For starters...having pride is not what you really need. Pride is a higher sense of self usually being higher of others. What you need to do is somehow just...love yourself. Accept yourself for who you are and try to make changes that you would like to see in yourself. Do it for you nobody else. We're all equals in this world so just take that all in and treat yourself right.

 

[isthatso]

Ok ... I was just reading something earlier and I want to share it with you. For starters...having pride is not what you really need. Pride is a higher sense of self usually being higher of others. What you need to do is somehow just...love yourself. Accept yourself for who you are and try to make changes that you would like to see in yourself. Do it for you nobody else. We're all equals in this world so just take that all in and treat yourself right.

Pride is over-rated I agree.
But hard to ignore. I'm thinking of a proud parent when their child plays well in a game of football, for instance.

Still, we need to get away from the false sense of self. A cool job, big house, groovy car and a hot girlfriend may boost our ego for a while but gradually you realise, that these things are transient and not the true ingredients of success. Successful people are at peace with themselves.