Fat Bashing.

[TheDude76]

If people are "fat phobic" then deep inside they have problems within themselves. Unfortunately fat peoples like myself will always be under fire.

Yes the biggest bully on the internet was someone who had lost weight and you could tell was just terrified of gaining it back. If some people who were "struggling" to lose weight were lying and eating 5 supersized meals per day, then, it was them and it would never happen to her.

Might I suggest people NOT apologize for taking up space? I used to weigh 350lbs, and I never apologized for simply "being there". There seems to be this communal idea that people should apologize for themselves, for simply being there. How is that good for anyone?

There are many different ways people fat and thin, tall and small can seem to take up others space. If you can't see how far fat phobic you are, with this entire line that fat people are intrinsically more likely to do this, than you are the problem. Today I was on the train and this guy got way too close. The train lurched and I was pushed back on him. I stepped on his toe merely trying to remain upright. I apologized but later I thought I shouldn't. He was way too close to me and I didn't do a darn thing. It is obvious that a train could cause something like that.

I don't understand your reply. I'm definitely not fat-phobic. To be quite honest, I take a long time walking past a Lane Bryant... ;-)

 

[TheDude76]

I will always apologize for bumping into someone or somehow putting myself in their space.

What constitutes "their space"?

If you're right in someone's face... Yeah, that's their space. If you're sucking in their hair, making it loft in the wind from the follicles... Yeah, that's their space. People do get super close when it's not necessary. I keep my distance from people when standing in the register line, waiting for my order if I happen to be in a food place, or just waiting for them to finish up what they're looking at or grabbing in an aisle of a store. This isn't even about size anymore. It's about basic courtesy to not step up to someone like you came out of the same womb at the same time holding hands. I don't appreciate when someone's close to me for no reason, so I don't do it to anyone else. And if I ever do, my doing or not, I apologize.

Wow... if I ever need some freaky surprise intimacy as you've described, I'll have to visit your neck if the woods. Maybe I'm sheltered living in a small city, but we've generally got room enough that what you're describing doesn't happen.

 

[VanillaCreme]

Wow... if I ever need some freaky surprise intimacy as you've described, I'll have to visit your neck if the woods. Maybe I'm sheltered living in a small city, but we've generally got room enough that what you're describing doesn't happen.

If you've never had at least one person accidentally bump into you... I don't even know what to say to that. Maybe you really haven't, considering you're taking what I'm saying and acting like it's the most uncommon thing ever. Either way, I'm not a rude person, and I'd still apologize for ever getting in someone's way or space.

 

[TheRealCallie]

Yes the biggest bully on the internet was someone who had lost weight and you could tell was just terrified of gaining it back. If some people who were "struggling" to lose weight were lying and eating 5 supersized meals per day, then, it was them and it would never happen to her.

Oh hi, I'm someone who lost the weight and am terrified to gain it back. I certainly don't bully overweight people. Should they lose weight....of course they should, but it's not my place to tell them that. If they comment about wanting to lose weight, I might give them a bit of advice, but I don't overstep my bounds and I certainly don't fat shame people.

Seems you me like you're bordering on bullying thin people here.

 

[TheDude76]

Wow... if I ever need some freaky surprise intimacy as you've described, I'll have to visit your neck if the woods. Maybe I'm sheltered living in a small city, but we've generally got room enough that what you're describing doesn't happen.

If you've never had at least one person accidentally bump into you... I don't even know what to say to that. Maybe you really haven't, considering you're taking what I'm saying and acting like it's the most uncommon thing ever. Either way, I'm not a rude person, and I'd still apologize for ever getting in someone's way or space.

Have I bumped into someone and apologized? Certainly, but that's not what you and others were describing.

 

[VanillaCreme]

Have I bumped into someone and apologized? Certainly, but that's not what you and others were describing.

I'm describing simply that. Either you weren't understanding what I was saying, or your imagination was running away with you. That is being in someone's space, or someone being in yours. I really don't know where you got "freaky surprise intimacy" from.

 

[TheDude76]

Have I bumped into someone and apologized? Certainly, but that's not what you and others were describing.

I'm describing simply that. Either you weren't understanding what I was saying, or your imagination was running away with you. That is being in someone's space, or someone being in yours. I really don't know where you got "freaky surprise intimacy" from.

"...you're sucking in their hair, making it loft in the wind from the follicles..."

"...like you came out of the same womb at the same time holding hands...."

You're right... no idea where I got on that tangent.

 

[EveWasFramed]

Lmao I missed that bit.
Nilla don't you be sucking in people's air.

 

[TheRealCallie]

Lmao I missed that bit.
Nilla don't you be sucking in people's air.

You're crowding me, we didn't come from the same womb so BACK UP :club:

 

[EveWasFramed]

Lmao I missed that bit.
Nilla don't you be sucking in people's air.

You're crowding me, we didn't come from the same womb so BACK UP :club:

I retired my club a while back, but don't think I won't bring it back out, Jen.
(Un)

 

[TheRealCallie]

Lmao I missed that bit.
Nilla don't you be sucking in people's air.

You're crowding me, we didn't come from the same womb so BACK UP :club:

I retired my club a while back, but don't think I won't bring it back out, Jen.
(Un)

I...DARE.....YOU! :club: :club:

 

[EveWasFramed]

You know I can't resist you. <3


:club:

 

[VanillaCreme]

Lmao I missed that bit.
Nilla don't you be sucking in people's air.

You're crowding me, we didn't come from the same womb so BACK UP :club:

 

[TheRealCallie]

You know I can't resist you. <3


:club:

 

[soresoul]

****...we are going way off topic now. This thread has me craving donuts deep fried with vanilla ice and chocolate.

 

[EmilyFoxSeaton]

I don't understand your reply. I'm definitely not fat-phobic. To be quite honest, I take a long time walking past a Lane Bryant... ;-)

I guess because I was agreeing with you ... it is all the others on this board that blithely go on about those fatties who suck up their air when they sit near them. As if that is legitmate and not exhibit A in fat bashing school. Anyone can be too close for comfort fat / thin etc.

 

[TheRealCallie]

I don't understand your reply. I'm definitely not fat-phobic. To be quite honest, I take a long time walking past a Lane Bryant... ;-)

I guess because I was agreeing with you ... it is all the others on this board that blithely go on about those fatties who suck up their air when they sit near them. As if that is legitmate and not exhibit A in fat bashing school. Anyone can be too close for comfort fat / thin etc.

I do believe SEVERAL people have stated it's not only for "fatties." Go back and read it all again if you didn't see it the first time....or chose to ignore it so you could write that post.

 

[soresoul]

As Selma likes to tell homer, is it just me, or did it just get fatter in here?

 

[Pathfinder]

I am a little unsure about posting this....but I will give it a shot.

The perspective I offer may be a little different than others.

I grew up the child of a "morbidly obese" father....which I later learned to mean that he had very serious health issues related to his size. He was a big man, in all aspects. Over 6"4, and at his heaviest well over 400 lbs. My hands placed together side by side barely filled the palm of one of his hands. He had a huge frame. He worked very hard to take care of our family, and went back to trade school in his 40s with a grade 7 education. He worked shift work and had a home business to take care of us. ...and he was very overweight.

He was warned many times to lose weight. He enjoyed food, and was happy eating what he wanted. His size garnered him respect in a rugged community- he was a protector - and his size also brought cruelty. The first slander out of someone's mouth that was not pleased with him was about his size.

What I missed was " my Dad" - I didn't care how big he was.. It took me until my teens to realize that he did not come to any of my events because he was worried that I would get bullied because of his size. This broke my heart and I remember the first time I looked up and saw him standing in the door of the Gym. I was thrilled! Then our team captain made a joke and a gesture...and he left. I has devastated and left the game to go find him. She later became the valedictorian of our grad class....ironic.

It was my job to go into a restaurant and be sure there was seating that could accommodate him. No chairs with sides, no stationary booths. I did not realize why he never went to subway...it was because of their seating. So once I realized I would get take out and take him for a picnic.

My Dad did eventually lose over 200 lbs all on his own. He was so pleased and I was very proud of him. But, it was because his health issues had become so extreme he felt that he had no choice. It was too late, and I lost him.

I have also lost a friend young in life to alcohol asphyxiation. An uncle to the same. Within the last few years a close friend to health complications from alcoholism, and currently I'm slowly losing someone close to me to the same disease.

My mom was Anorexic, and I lost her to an illness from smoking when I was in my early 20's. I myself struggled with bulimia as a teen and young adult.

This history is just to offer perspective of my opinion about what life has taught me.

Life has taught me that it is about "choice"...and respecting each other as human beings. I may wish that all of those I've lost made different choices...but it was theirs to make.

With choice comes respect for someone as a person and having the right to make that choice.....their choice. Whether we agree with it or not....whether we wish they would chose differently or not.

It is theirs to make. And they should not be judged.

I knew that my dad grew up in extreme poverty, and experienced hunger and no love in his life on a scale far beyond a magnitude that many would ever have.

It did not give me a reason to make an excuse....it gave me empathy.

The world would be a better place with a more empathy and compassion, and less judgement. I am saddened deeply that the choices those I cared about made cost them their lives. But I respect that it was their choice to make.

The choices they made did not define them as a person....they were all very GOOD people.

Alcoholism, smoking, obesity....all choices. But those choices are so complex, and so painful for the people making them, that they should not be judged.
In my humble opinion it is about respect. Not excuses, and not judgement. And certainly not about cruelty...there is enough of that in the world. There should be no place for it ...in a perfect world. - sigh-

We are all just people first.

I'll end with that there are some words in society that people have come to see as not acceptable....because they are disrespectful, intentional or not, or hurtful to those that they are directed towards. For me personally, right up there with the "C" word towards a woman, the "N" word....is the "F" word for people who struggle with their weight. I see it as hurtful and demeaning with nothing but negative connotations attached to it. That is my personal opinion. A bigger person should never be called or labelled as "fat". It is a word that is thrown around far too much and I agree, can have a very negative impact a young age.

Just my thoughts and experience.

 

[EveWasFramed]

I am a little unsure about posting this....but I will give it a shot.

The perspective I offer may be a little different than others.

I grew up the child of a "morbidly obese" father....which I later learned to mean that he had very serious health issues related to his size. He was a big man, in all aspects. Over 6"4, and at his heaviest well over 400 lbs. My hands placed together side by side barely filled the palm of one of his hands. He had a huge frame. He worked very hard to take care of our family, and went back to trade school in his 40s with a grade 7 education. He worked shift work and had a home business to take care of us. ...and he was very overweight.

He was warned many times to lose weight. He enjoyed food, and was happy eating what he wanted. His size garnered him respect in a rugged community- he was a protector - and his size also brought cruelty. The first slander out of someone's mouth that was not pleased with him was about his size.

What I missed was " my Dad" - I didn't care how big he was.. It took me until my teens to realize that he did not come to any of my events because he was worried that I would get bullied because of his size. This broke my heart and I remember the first time I looked up and saw him standing in the door of the Gym. I was thrilled! Then our team captain made a joke and a gesture...and he left. I has devastated and left the game to go find him. She later became the valedictorian of our grad class....ironic.

It was my job to go into a restaurant and be sure there was seating that could accommodate him. No chairs with sides, no stationary booths. I did not realize why he never went to subway...it was because of their seating. So once I realized I would get take out and take him for a picnic.

My Dad did eventually lose over 200 lbs all on his own. He was so pleased and I was very proud of him. But, it was because his health issues had become so extreme he felt that he had no choice. It was too late, and I lost him.

I have also lost a friend young in life to alcohol asphyxiation. An uncle to the same. Within the last few years a close friend to health complications from alcoholism, and currently I'm slowly losing someone close to me to the same disease.

My mom was Anorexic, and I lost her to an illness from smoking when I was in my early 20's. I myself struggled with bulimia as a teen and young adult.

This history is just to offer perspective of my opinion about what life has taught me.

Life has taught me that it is about "choice"...and respecting each other as human beings. I may wish that all of those I've lost made different choices...but it was theirs to make.

With choice comes respect for someone as a person and having the right to make that choice.....their choice. Whether we agree with it or not....whether we wish they would chose differently or not.

It is theirs to make. And they should not be judged.

I knew that my dad grew up in extreme poverty, and experienced hunger and no love in his life on a scale far beyond a magnitude that many would ever have.

It did not give me a reason to make an excuse....it gave me empathy.

The world would be a better place with a more empathy and compassion, and less judgement. I am saddened deeply that the choices those I cared about made cost them their lives. But I respect that it was their choice to make.

The choices they made did not define them as a person....they were all very GOOD people.

Alcoholism, smoking, obesity....all choices. But those choices are so complex, and so painful for the people making them, that they should not be judged.
In my humble opinion it is about respect. Not excuses, and not judgement. And certainly not about cruelty...there is enough of that in the world. There should be no place for it ...in a perfect world. - sigh-

We are all just people first.

I'll end with that there are some words in society that people have come to see as not acceptable....because they are disrespectful, intentional or not, or hurtful to those that they are directed towards. For me personally, right up there with the "C" word towards a woman, the "N" word....is the "F" word for people who struggle with their weight. I see it as hurtful and demeaning with nothing but negative connotations attached to it. That is my personal opinion. A bigger person should never be called or labelled as "fat". It is a word that is thrown around far too much and I agree, can have a very negative impact a young age.

Just my thoughts and experience.

+1