friends or no friends?

[dan27]

 

[Taiga]

Well....I'd just ask for a favor of equal value in return...let 'em know how you really feel.

Yeah, and see if they return the favor or start making excuses. Fastest way to weed out the fakers.

The pastor of my childhood church told my mother once, “One doesn’t have friends, one has acquaintances.”

 

[user 188644]

Yeah, and see if they return the favor or start making excuses. Fastest way to weed out the fakers.

The pastor of my childhood church told my mother once, “One doesn’t have friends, one has acquaintances.”

Sure doesn't sound any more or less like nonsense than anything else said at church so at least there's that.

 

[Finished]

Yeah, and see if they return the favor or start making excuses. Fastest way to weed out the fakers.

The pastor of my childhood church told my mother once, “One doesn’t have friends, one has acquaintances.”

Well, if you do that then there's nobody left. The trick is to make all kinds of excuses NOT to do favors for others just like they do to everybody else.

 

[user 188644]

For me it's like I do favors because I want to but then when I get hurt or disregarded my brain uses the favors to justify my value to them. But in reality I just want to be valued in the way I value them. So like withholding favors would not help in any way. If anything it hurts me because I like being helpful or useful.

 

[Finished]

For me it's like I do favors because I want to but then when I get hurt or disregarded my brain uses the favors to justify my value to them. But in reality I just want to be valued in the way I value them. So like withholding favors would not help in any way. If anything it hurts me because I like being helpful or useful.

Yeah, I like to help people too. The only way I was able to stop helping people was to stop being around people.

 

[Azariah]

Do you have any friends or do you choose not to have any friends,I don't have any friends and choose not to have any friends,I like being by myself a lot more than having friends.

I have lots of friends. At first at middle school and high school i didn't well not as much as i wanted. but then as time passed i made lots of friends. So yea i have friends but i cant hang out with them now because of my current situation. But I can be by myself too. just spending time walking by the beach, at the mall, skatepark, etc. being alone is quite therapeutic for me.

im used to being alone.

 

[Azariah]

heyyy i'm subbed to dare to do motivation lol i used to watch many of their videos.

 

[user 188685]

I have lots of friends. At first at middle school and high school i didn't well not as much as i wanted. but then as time passed i made lots of friends. So yea i have friends but i cant hang out with them now because of my current situation. But I can be by myself too. just spending time walking by the beach, at the mall, skatepark, etc. being alone is quite therapeutic for me.

im used to being alone.

So am I

 

[Claudia1794]

Friends require effort that I’m too old to waste. Also, Im a little quirky which at times can be troublesome. Besides most people are boring and I can be bored by myself.

 

[user 188685]

Friends require effort that I’m too old to waste. Also, Im a little quirky which at times can be troublesome. Besides most people are boring and I can be bored by myself.

Good point,you can be bored by yourself,I'm bored by myself all the time,life is very boring.

 

[JC ROC]

Society never accepted me, I'm one of those invisible people that society never interacts with and bypasses. They may utter polite greetings but that's it and it's only because they feel they must. Nobody has genuinely been interesting in befriending me. Kids, teens, and now adults never wanted anything to do with me. I have gone through life practically alone. I was never chosen. Still not. Can expect Never to be. Never had any friends, continue not to have any, I feel it's kinda pointless and unnecessary now...it's not like I'd be a good friend, and I wouldn't like it after being alone practically my whole life.


I have adjusted to making due with my own company. There are a lot of times when I long for it and imagine what it would be like to have a genuine friend.

It will most likely never happen.

I'm an almost 42 year old adult now.

People are already settled and content or settled for the friends in their life. They don't want any new person to enter their life.


Most friendships are fake anyways.
With lots of backstabbing, talking badly about one another to each other and to other people, excluding certain people, not dividing time evenly with everyone, spreading rumors, going after or sleeping with someone's spouse or partner, etc..

I find it hard to make friends as well. I have some phone friends throughout country - check in but in terms of a day to day friend other than my new wife and adult children from a prior marriage have really just 2 people I do stuff with- one only if I reach out - the other reaches out but only after a month or so. I like it sounds like you have accepted for me it does not come easy. I have an agreeable personality and respectful but apparently I have few that I match up with. I hope you find some one that you find authentic friendship with

 

[JC ROC]

Good point,you can be bored by yourself,I'm bored by myself all the time,life is very boring.

I feel bored too often. I gave up the one thing that gave me so much joy - riding motorcycles due to 2 separate accidents within 15 months of each other and several broken bones- that was something I enjoyed doing on my own.

 

[user 188685]

I feel bored too often. I gave up the one thing that gave me so much joy - riding motorcycles due to 2 separate accidents within 15 months of each other and several broken bones- that was something I enjoyed doing on my own.

I'm sorry to hear this,I hope you are ok.

 

[JC ROC]

Thanks- I am okay but life for some reason has presented me with many tests last 2 years. My father died in 2020 a month or so ahead of Covid entering the world. 4 months post his passing, I got into a motorcycle accident after going around a blind curve and being met by a line of wild turkeys crossing the road and blocking both lanes of travel. I ended up breaking my leg in two places and my arm. The. The very next year 2021 my mom passed away and like before 4 months later I had another motorcycle accident when a lady made a left in front of me and I ended up breaking 11 bones, punctured both lungs, and sheared internal tissue requiring plastic surgery. I was knocked unconscious and hospitalized for a week - then to add to second accident on December 8 with no warning whatsoever and always having good cholesterol levels and no issues with blood pressure at 54 had a full blown heart attack. All of the above took place within 18 months time. I have had 26 or so motorcycles over the years 3-5 at a time but know I cannot risk putting my body through another accident. That was my special time where I had so much enjoyment and actually enjoyed being alone while riding.

 

[JC ROC]

I feel bored too often. I gave up the one thing that gave me so much joy - riding motorcycles due to 2 separate accidents within 15 months of each other and several broken bones- that was something I enjoyed doing on my own.

I'm sorry to hear this,I hope you are ok.

What brings you joy? You are very thoughtful by the way,

Good point,you can be bored by yourself,I'm bored by myself all the time,life is very boring.

 

[user 188685]

Thanks- I am okay but life for some reason has presented me with many tests last 2 years. My father died in 2020 a month or so ahead of Covid entering the world. 4 months post his passing, I got into a motorcycle accident after going around a blind curve and being met by a line of wild turkeys crossing the road and blocking both lanes of travel. I ended up breaking my leg in two places and my arm. The. The very next year 2021 my mom passed away and like before 4 months later I had another motorcycle accident when a lady made a left in front of me and I ended up breaking 11 bones, punctured both lungs, and sheared internal tissue requiring plastic surgery. I was knocked unconscious and hospitalized for a week - then to add to second accident on December 8 with no warning whatsoever and always having good cholesterol levels and no issues with blood pressure at 54 had a full blown heart attack. All of the above took place within 18 months time. I have had 26 or so motorcycles over the years 3-5 at a time but know I cannot risk putting my body through another accident. That was my special time where I had so much enjoyment and actually enjoyed being alone while riding.

I'm glad your ok

 

[user 188685]

What brings you joy? You are very thoughtful by the way,

Thank you,what brings me joy is being on the forum site,being with my animals,being outside when I go for my walk in the mornings,just being out in nature.

 

[Finished]

I feel bored too often. I gave up the one thing that gave me so much joy - riding motorcycles due to 2 separate accidents within 15 months of each other and several broken bones- that was something I enjoyed doing on my own.

I've had many motorcycles street, off road, racers, and Harleys. Pretty much loved them all. I even built a couple from scratch including my own frames. But, I crashed on every one of them. People just don't pay attention to motorcycles on the road. Only twice was it my fault. I didn't hit anybody else I was just doing stupid things and injured myself. But, I finally had to realize that I'm not responsible enough to ride a motorcycle. If I can go fast or jump something I will. So, I only have one left. It's a very small light weight home built unit and I haven't even ridden that in a few years. I did recently just bring it into my workshop to get it going again though.

 

[JC ROC]

I'm glad your ok

Thanks