I’m glad you had a good day with your friend.
Frustrating Friendship
- Thread starter okidoke
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TheSkaFish
Jedi Guardian
That looks awesome. In fact, I might like to try it someday.
I've always had a kind of love/fear feeling with flying - fear because it's a long way down, but love, because it looks so cool and romantic.
Have you ever wanted to try this yourself?
It's a very cool picture anyway.
I've got no desire to do it Ska and it's an expensive sport, which I can't afford in any case. I used to be a fixed wing pilot and flight instructor and I've had my fill of flying around the skies to be honest. In different circumstances I might have made more of it, but that's life. I went with my mate to get out of the house, spend time with different people, maybe take some interesting photos. I recall during the day itself that I didn't at any stage feel any real excitement or joy, and the day was long and tedious for the most part, but it was sunny, lovely in the shade of a tree and kept me busy. I just went with it, knowing in advance what I might expect, so I didn't get upset or bored or lonely when I was off to the side while the others flew about. The chats were engaging throughout the day. It was certainly better than sitting at home doing little.
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Sometimes
Well-known member
Going back to the cancelled camping - If you go anyway, what if it turns out he did you a favour by cancelling and you going alone? I mean, like, what if something special/unexpected happens?
You never know.
You never know.
I said I was going anyway, which I did.
Sometimes
Well-known member
Yeah I read that, but I was just reframing it as an adventure or a possibility because it's what I'm trying to do.
I go camping alone often. The trouble with my mate was, I don’t go camping one week if I’m going to go the following week or the week after. I can’t go away that often. It’s just messy how he mucked me around.
9 months later i can probably confirm that my friendship has solidified somewhat. Now that he has fully settled into retirement, he's been able to get his head straighter a bit more, and the recent death of his father and me creating a memorial video for the funeral for his family, and a couple of other events in his life, has had him become a little more humble and appreciative of my friendship.
ardour
Well known loser
Old thread, but you should realize how typical this is of many (most?) people in our age groups. I wouldn't read much more than that into it. Your choice if you want to bother with him again.
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I'm not sure if you read my last post in this thread, but the friendship is in a better way in my opinion. In my head I've come to terms with various points of this friendship and want it to continue. When I have moments of frustration or disappointment, that's on me, and I have to resolve such feelings within myself. He is a good bloke, with faults like we all have.
So there's a comedy show coming to town at the end of May. I need a laugh, but I don't want to go alone, so I asked my one mate if he was interested in coming along. He declined. He didn't give a reason except to say he "won't bother" to go. I asked my daughter. She accepted.
It's just a bit disappointing that my one mate just doesn't understand my loneliness, or refuses to, because I know I've mentioned it before.
It's just a bit disappointing that my one mate just doesn't understand my loneliness, or refuses to, because I know I've mentioned it before.
HellsLittleAngel
She really is a little devilish thing...isn't she?
He may understand it but he probably just doesn't want to go.
That could be true, for sure, but he could've chosen better words in his reply and not this dismissive sounding one that is more about him than me. But of course, he's a bit narcissistic, so what more can I expect. It's his birthday tomorrow; I've bought him several presents over the years, but he never remembers mine or returned the gesture.
HellsLittleAngel
She really is a little devilish thing...isn't she?
Why are you friends with him then? He seems very selfish and one-sided.
We've had this conversation. I still get a bit from the friendship even if it's not ideal. Maybe I vent about it too much, but I'm just getting stuff off my chest. If I drop him, I'll have nothing at all.
HellsLittleAngel
She really is a little devilish thing...isn't she?
We've had so many, and don't remember an actual conversation about this friendship. Sometimes you have to cut the cord just to save yourself from toxicity. That sounds like a toxic friendship.
How is it toxic? He just disappoints me sometimes because I expect more from people. He isn't abusing me, he isn't mocking or degrading me. I've called him out in the past when he was a bit too animated when affected by alcohol, for which he apologised.
HellsLittleAngel
She really is a little devilish thing...isn't she?
Oh okay, the way you made it sound, was as if he's self-absorbed and only cares about himself. That's the way you described him anyways. If he's not doing any of that, then I guess you're fine with the other ways he treats you, and if you're okay with it, then so be it.
well he is pretty self-absorbed, vain, has an ego, but I would say that he's more oblivious than deliberately uncaring. I'm going to think about saying how I feel about his reply and why I wanted him to come along.
HellsLittleAngel
She really is a little devilish thing...isn't she?
I have a few narcissistic friends, but they're good to me. I don't care about everyone else, but as long as they're good to me, we're good. I don't put the time and effort into one-sided friendships, I'd rather be alone. You should voice how you feel towards him and see what he says. If he's truly narcissistic, he won't care how he comes off to you when he tells you his response, which should also tell you something about your friendship with him, and if it's worth it.
