Lol.... how horrible!
Imagine KFC, one minute until they close, in a small southern, sleepy town...
DT- KFC, can I take your order?
US- (in Irish accents) Oh, 'ello there, lass... what time do you close?
DT- Um... in like one minute.
US- But do you still have any chicken left?
DT- Yeah, we have some. What can I get you?
US- Oh, thank the good Lord above! Praise be to his name... we were afraid you may be out...
DT- No, we have some. What can i get you?
US- Yes, oh, right. This is Fr. O'Malley from the mission, here with Deacon O'Brien. We've had some awful luck finding bread for the orphans tonight. You say you have some chicken left, right?
DT- Yeah, we have some chicken left. Did you want to place an order?
US- Well, may I ask you a question, lass? If you're about to close, and there is chicken left over, what do you do with the chicken?
DT- We de-bone it and save it for gravy.
US- Oh, bless me, Deacon! They haven't a good use for it at all, considering the poor fatherless little ones left to our charge! (other guy says, "Lord bless them, they need that chicken!)
DT- What would you like?
US- My child, I would like to have that chicken for the starving orphans, so that their bellies might be filled and their souls saved. Would you consider donating it to us so that we can end their hunger?
DT- Um... let me ask my manager...
DTM- This is the manager; how can I help you?
US- Retell the story, mostly as above...
DTM- Do you have a tax ID I can use for charitable donation forms?
US- No, but we have white collars.... and the Lord's charge to care for his most needy...
DTM- I'm supposed to fill out paper work...
US- Deacon, I think we've failed in our work tonight... <starts to cry>
DTM- Just pull around; I'll see what I can do. We just throw it away anyway...
US- Oh, bless you! Bountiful blessings be upon you, from all the saints and angels in... (cut off)
DTM- We closed five minutes ago, sir... just pull around and we'll have something for you.
We pull around, and are greeted by an angry, overweight man with a chicken tie who tells us it's too damn late to **** around about orphans and ****.
US- Bless you, child, and may the Lord help you lose some weight!!
