Glass half full/empty

[Sunless Sky]

This is something that I ask myself on a constant basis. Do my issues even count as real problems? Or am I just complaining over nothing?

You see, I don't have any addictions, no severe domestic issues with family, no massive trauma, and no developmental problems, etc...

And, while I am no casanova, I don't struggle with talking to girls. True, I don't initiate conversations and tend to let it happen organically but, I don't have unrealistic expectations or desires when talking to them. I did have some unhealthy relationships though.

I am mildly bipolar but I take medication so the symptoms are mostly managed. I can be a bit socially awkward sometimes, I struggle with loneliness and stress from catastrophising thinking. I also used to have anger issues buy I've mostly dealt with that. Haven't been angry for more than a decade now due, in part, to sports and even video games and music which can act as energy outlets.

The only somewhat real problem that I think I have is my anxiety which does tend to be debilitating at times if I let it.

Anyway, felt like sharing that since I do ask myself this question whenever I hear stories from people with real problems.

(Edit) Forgot to ask my question. Is it all a matter of perspective?

 

[okidoke]

Can be to some degree, but one’s reactions, which can be debilitating, are real. Controlling them is the key.

 

[TheRealCallie]

Here's the thing.....there will always be someone worse off than you, that has more serious issues than you.
But does that mean you can't have issues at all? That you can't feel bad about things? That you can't stress about things? NO. It doesn't matter who has it worse and who has it better. We all deal with different things in our own way. Someone with worse issues than you could deal with things better than you. Someone with less issues than you could deal with things worse than you.
Every single person that has every lived on this planet has had problems. Every single person is going to deal with them differently. It isn't a competition. It's about being there. Being present. Helping each other when you can because you won't only be helping them, you'll also be helping yourself. Judgements and comparisons are what bring us down as a society.

So yes, it is a matter of perspective, but you have the perspective you have in this moment. Could it change? Yes, if you're open to it and do the hard work it takes to get through it. But if you aren't ready, you aren't ready. No one should fault you for that whether you have big problems or small ones.

As for glass half full/half empty. Why does it have to be either? It is what it is. And when you does become empty, you can always refill it. And if it's broken, you can always get a new one. That's the beauty of glasses.

 

[Hermit]

I find scales helpful to see how much my feelings relate to reality. An example for such scales would be Maslow's hierarchy of needs or my own vita (to see where I made progress or regress).

 

[Hermit]

And when you does become empty, you can always refill it. And if it's broken, you can always get a new one. That's the beauty of glasses.

That is toxic positivity. No, life does not work this way. You can't always start over, you reach dead ends all the time and have to learn how to deal with it.

 

[TheRealCallie]

That is toxic positivity. No, life does not work this way. You can't always start over, you reach dead ends all the time and have to learn how to deal with it.

It's not toxic positivity. It's reality. You ALWAYS have a choice. It might be two bad choices, but you always have a choice to make. As for as dead ends go, when you hit one, turn around and find another way. That's also a way of "dealing with it."

Also, as long as you're still alive, you can start over. One thing you might notice I didn't say was that it's easy to do. It's obviously not. It's hard work and full of frustration and set backs, but that doesn't mean it can't be done.

Like I said, if you aren't ready, you aren't ready and nothing will help you in that moment and you won't see a way out, so I'm guessing you aren't ready yet.

 

[Hermit]

It's not toxic positivity. It's reality. You ALWAYS have a choice.

Wrong. For the simple reason that you're not an omnipotent being. Only an omnipotent being has always a choice. Life can easily take your choices away without killing you.

 

[okidoke]

Wrong. For the simple reason that you're not an omnipotent being. Only an omnipotent being has always a choice. Life can easily take your choices away without killing you.

Telling people they’re wrong is never a good choice.

 

[okidoke]

I find scales helpful to see how much my feelings relate to reality.

How’s that working out for you? Why create an unnecessary and immeasurable logic of comparison? Just feel what you feel, and if your reactions are causing you or others negative consequences, then that’s when you should address them, otherwise there’s no harm. If you cry more than someone else over spilt milk, so what.

 

[Hermit]

Telling people they’re wrong is never a good choice.

Should I lie instead?

 

[TheRealCallie]

If you cry more than someone else over spilt milk

You know, I've done that. I have cried over literal spilled milk. lol

 

[Hermit]

Just feel what you feel, and if your reactions are causing you or others negative consequences, then that’s when you should address them

...which is what I'm doing.

 

[TheRealCallie]

Should I lie instead?

Your perception of life is different than mine. That doesn't make me wrong. You threw judgements at me instead of simply offering your own opinion on the matter. You didn't have to involve me at all....you chose to.

 

[Hermit]

You know, I've done that. I have cried over literal spilled milk. lol

Where you starving at that point and the milk was the only thing you had left? Then it was justified to cry.

Starving is also a good example of not having a choice. Your body needs food to function, you can't choose to stop eating and continue your life, even if you manage to ignore the hunger. You'll die if you don't eat.

 

[Hermit]

Your perception of life is different than mine. That doesn't make me wrong. You threw judgements at me instead of simply offering your own opinion on the matter. You didn't have to involve me at all....you chose to.

Ah, solipsism.

 

[TheRealCallie]

Where you starving at that point and the milk was the only thing you had left? Then it was justified to cry.

No actually. I wasn't starving. Doesn't mean my reasons weren't justified. But then, you don't have to justify crying, it's human nature to cry.

Starving is also a good example of not having a choice. Your body needs food to function, you can't choose to stop eating and continue your life, even if you manage to ignore the hunger. You'll die if you don't eat.

You could steal (I don't recommend that though), you could dumpster drive, you could beg, you could crash a party/wedding/funeral, you could ask for help, you could put out a hat and play your music, or you could give up and starve to death (also don't recommend that)...those are all choices.

Ah, solipsism

So not only am I toxically positive, I'm also selfish? Lol
Okay, whatever you say.

ETA: Hell, I wish I could remember the last time I did something for myself.