MY DESPAIR IS NOW TURNING INTO RAGE!!!
1. Good enough to f*** but not enough to date
I don't know how the other females do it - but many of them have men interested in getting to know them; care for them; heart-broken over them etc.
Why the **** is it that every man I have met - I get the instant Friends-with-benefits-zoned?
I would love to be friend-zoned!
I'd like friends!
If you want a booty-call, find a ******* girl that is looking for the same.
Why the **** bother me and try to change my mind?
Why the **** take the time and effort to PRETEND that you want more with me, when you don't?
I let everyone KNOW that I am not into flings, but I am not asking for instant marriage either.
I do not dress sexual or act sexual - I reek of this "good-girl" persona and have been compared to angels on numerous occasions (ahahah).
It's not as if I go to meat markets like bars; that, or "hook-up" with just anyone. I prefer the shy, quiet, book-loving, "good boys" that often are unnoticed by the general female population.
I adore sweet and dependable.
BUT I BRING OUT THE "I WANT TO ****-AND-CHUCK YOU" BEAST IN THEM!
And after refusing and going our separate ways; they then spend their time crying over the ***** who broke their heart.
Refer to my (old) thread here:
http://www.alonelylife.com/showthread.php?tid=9223
Such said "nice guys"; I boost their egos by constantly reassuring them and giving them compliments.
When I've nursed them back to health - they then fly away.
I'm not giving out compliments anymore and feeding into any shy guy's self-esteem issues.
It's like I'm just practice for the person that they truly want.
**** THEM.
I hate to be like this...
So full of anger...
But I am ******* wanting to just slap every guy rightaboutnow!
(I hate women too)
**** THEM AND WHY ME???
2. I should just sell my virginity (So...any...uh...takers?)
I read an article on how a chick managed to bring in $50,000 and got to travel to Italy, stay in a luxury hotel and wined and dined.
I figure, hey! Why not?
Beats giving it up to some ***** college student with debt to hell and just wants a ****-and-chuck with no benefits to me.
It's crossed my mind several times - if I enter into it as a business transaction; it'd be better than me "sharing" myself with someone only to never hear from them the day after.
Ya know...with me constantly being Friends-with-benefits-zoned right from the start.
(I'm not even sexy)
I think as long as it were legit and safe...I would do it.
It's not as if I am waiting for a soul-mate or anything of the sort.
I only want to be intimate with someone who sincerely cares about me.
But I don't think that time will ever come, no matter how hard I delude myself.
I wonder how much I could hit up, honestly.