ladyforsaken
Well-known member
Good luck, Sophia. And please take care with the caffeine intake. You don't wanna be too jittery cos of too much of it. *hugs*
Help Support Loneliness, Depression & Relationship Forum:
S
SophiaGrace
Guest
Test was easy. 
One more assignment left.
One more assignment left.
Mr Seal The Albatros
Well-known member
Hey! Great! Don't forget to treat yourself to something when you're finished. You certainly deserve it. In the meantime...
*grabs silly... uh (what are those called? Cheerleader pom-poms?)*
GOOOOOOO SOPHIA!
*grabs silly... uh (what are those called? Cheerleader pom-poms?)*
GOOOOOOO SOPHIA!
S
SophiaGrace
Guest
Internet, when i.need you most, why do you fail me?
S
SophiaGrace
Guest
Everything is done with. Hooray.
+ 1 blowup with my bestfriend and….i'm -1 bestfriend now.
+ 1 blowup with my bestfriend and….i'm -1 bestfriend now.
ladyforsaken
Well-known member
*hugs*
Mr Seal The Albatros
Well-known member
Oh my. Sorry to hear that. *hugs*
S
SophiaGrace
Guest
Edit.
S
SophiaGrace
Guest
I'm withdrawing from the caffeine I ingested all week long now so my mood is down. Waiting for the withdrawals to go through…and then I should be feeling better mood-wise for a while. Right now I do n't have much brain power.
J
jd7
Guest
SophiaGrace said:
This is normal. Don't let this worry you. Rest. Revive.
I am glad things are calming down for you. Why do we put ourselves through these things? My Master's dissertation was way late, I had to invent all sorts of excuses. The fact was, I panicked, went into denial, and got drunk! When I finally finished it, I had to drink a bottles of Prosecco (at least I have style!) just to stop my hands shaking enough to type! And the madness is, it is VOLUNTARY. I CHOSE to do a Masters!
Anyway, best of luck with the rest of the programme, and the end will come.
Anyway, best of luck with the rest of the programme, and the end will come.
S
SophiaGrace
Guest
Dear Friends,
Why do things keep getting worse and worse? Where is my reprieve? Even though break has come to me, my problems have not ended.
I had a meeting with the professors yesterday and I couldn't talk about it until now. I told them how I had been doubting whether this was the right profession for me but that I had felt so connected to it that I really felt this was right for me, and that I was willing to do whatever it took to improve.
It didn't matter to them. They didn't support me. Instead, they "encouraged" me to either take a break or leave the program altogether. Although yes, they did throw in that i could continue again next semester, but that wasn't how it felt to me.
Still no support. They glossed over the fact that I apparently improved on my 4th counseling video. I never got my review for it. I never got to know whether I passed or not. They told me I'd get an incomplete for the class, if I passed my 4th practice counseling video.
I had to ASK them how I did with it. And the professor kept saying "It's a moot point" because he couldn't give me an incomplete for the class since the school policy for incomplete's had changed. It wasn't a moot point….if I improved with my counseling skills, I should be encouraged. It should've been the first thing he said when I walked in the door. If I had a student like this, it would've been the first thing I said when they sat down, to try and encourage them. I had to ask if I could get my review for it, and the reviewer still hasn't responded to my email requesting a review of my 4th video tape.
I told the other professor that I hadn't been giving 100% and her response was "80%…100%…it doesn't matter." What do you mean it doesn't matter? It matters. It's like they've already made up their minds about me and nothing I can do…no offer I can make, no matter how genuine it is….matters.
You know, something is gone inside of me from this experience. I feel damaged in some way. It's taken away A) my ability to believe that my actions matter , B) my self esteem , C) Something inside my head has broken and a door has opened that previously wasn't open before. I can't bring myself to say what it is, but, suffice to say this experience I am going through is not healing, nor has it been kind to me.
I have a meeting with my AA today. She's nice. I like her. Probably the only person that encourages me now in the program. She stuck up for me. (like the people here at ALL have)
-Soph
Why do things keep getting worse and worse? Where is my reprieve? Even though break has come to me, my problems have not ended.
I had a meeting with the professors yesterday and I couldn't talk about it until now. I told them how I had been doubting whether this was the right profession for me but that I had felt so connected to it that I really felt this was right for me, and that I was willing to do whatever it took to improve.
It didn't matter to them. They didn't support me. Instead, they "encouraged" me to either take a break or leave the program altogether. Although yes, they did throw in that i could continue again next semester, but that wasn't how it felt to me.
Still no support. They glossed over the fact that I apparently improved on my 4th counseling video. I never got my review for it. I never got to know whether I passed or not. They told me I'd get an incomplete for the class, if I passed my 4th practice counseling video.
I had to ASK them how I did with it. And the professor kept saying "It's a moot point" because he couldn't give me an incomplete for the class since the school policy for incomplete's had changed. It wasn't a moot point….if I improved with my counseling skills, I should be encouraged. It should've been the first thing he said when I walked in the door. If I had a student like this, it would've been the first thing I said when they sat down, to try and encourage them. I had to ask if I could get my review for it, and the reviewer still hasn't responded to my email requesting a review of my 4th video tape.
I told the other professor that I hadn't been giving 100% and her response was "80%…100%…it doesn't matter." What do you mean it doesn't matter? It matters. It's like they've already made up their minds about me and nothing I can do…no offer I can make, no matter how genuine it is….matters.
You know, something is gone inside of me from this experience. I feel damaged in some way. It's taken away A) my ability to believe that my actions matter , B) my self esteem , C) Something inside my head has broken and a door has opened that previously wasn't open before. I can't bring myself to say what it is, but, suffice to say this experience I am going through is not healing, nor has it been kind to me.
I have a meeting with my AA today. She's nice. I like her. Probably the only person that encourages me now in the program. She stuck up for me. (like the people here at ALL have)
-Soph
Mr Seal The Albatros
Well-known member
I know what you mean. I would have felt the same way in your shoes. Sorry to hear all of this is happening dear.
That reprieve will come at some point. Please hang in there Soph. I'm still cheering you on! *hugs*
That reprieve will come at some point. Please hang in there Soph. I'm still cheering you on!
*hugs*
S
SophiaGrace
Guest
Mr Seal The Albatros said:I know what you mean. I would have felt the same way in your shoes. Sorry to hear all of this is happening dear.
That reprieve will come at some point. Please hang in there Soph. I'm still cheering you on!
It's okay Mr. Seal. I am not quite ready to give up yet.
My reviewer for my 4th video contacted me back finally, so I feel some happiness about that.
EveWasFramed
Well-known member
Keep us posted, Soph.
ladyforsaken
Well-known member
Soph, I've always admired your determination and willpower. It's amazing and inspiring at the same time. There may be people in life who don't believe in you, but it is the few who do that matter, and the most that matters is that if you believe in yourself. It's probably difficult right now from feeling demoralised from the meeting with your professors but I hope you don't take their word entirely to be how it is.
And yes, keep us posted. Always wishing the best for you, my friend. *hugs*
And yes, keep us posted. Always wishing the best for you, my friend. *hugs*
S
SophiaGrace
Guest
I have my review for my 4th video today. Please pray it goes well. Or, just wish me well. It's in an hour and a half.
ladyforsaken
Well-known member
I hope the review will be a positive one and that you'll do great for it. All the best to you, Soph. *hugs*
S
SophiaGrace
Guest
I was walking with my classmate yesterday while we were going to an after-semester get together with other classmates. I asked her what she thought of my situation and she said "You know, Soph, I am a big believer in the path of least resistance." I asked her what she meant. And went on to say that she would try and utilize her other strengths. She asked me if I had any other strengths, and I was quiet, because anything else I could think of felt like second best, like someone offering me something I would never be happy with. And she went on to say that maybe I could be a reading specialist for Deaf children. I was still quiet, and she asked me if she had made me sad, and I said no, because I wasn't sure of my emotions at that moment.
ladyforsaken
Well-known member
*hug*
