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[AFrozenSoul]

Yes.

Point me to the thread where a woman talks about being beaten, cheated on, stolen from, and having her children neglected by an awful man...and then a man comes into the thread and lectures and berates her for being bitter.

Can someone point me in that direction?

Oh wait! That would likely never happen and if it did, all hell would be unleashed.

Well not on this forum. On a forum that is geared more at men then maybe. However, on a forum for men said female would likely be ignored.

You cannot forget the presentation of story as well. As long as it is presented as a sob story people will tend to give sympathy. This thread is an example of a bad presentation. You simply stated, that the book was helpful. I am sure if you had made more than just a statement this thread would not have become such an angry thread. If you had presented thus book as part of your healing process most of the angry females on here would not have been able to say anything.

 

[Kenny]

If you had presented thus book as part of your healing process most of the angry females on here would not have been able to say anything.

Well that's no fun. I like to coax people into showing their true colors.

 

[AFrozenSoul]

Well that's no fun. I like to coax people into showing their true colors.

Hmm... yeah I will admit that is fun. However, with a bit more tact you could easy pull out the true colors of people. However, by trying to start a fight right away you are giving people the ability to defend themselves.

Then again, most of the females who got angry would have not said anything and this thread would have been less interesting.

 

[Kenny]

Well that's no fun. I like to coax people into showing their true colors.

Hmm... yeah I will admit that is fun. However, with a bit more tact you could easy pull out the true colors of people. However, by trying to start a fight right away you are giving people the ability to defend themselves.

Then again, most of the females who got angry would have not said anything and this thread would have been less interesting.

OK, that is where you've lost me.

I didn't "try to start a fight right away".

Where did I do that?

I made a book recommendation. Three pages later all hell broke loose.

I'm referring to my overall posting style of not mincing words. I wasn't looking for a fight and I wasn't looking for sympathy. I was making a book recommendation.

I know you've agreed with a lot of what I've said in this thread, but you don't need to turn it around on me just I am sarcastic about what happened here.

 

[Enchanted Girl]

@Kenny:

Point me to the thread where I defended a woman for being bitter after suffering through years of abuse. You're actually stereotyping me, while I am going by the words you say. I have not once said anything that would mean I would do those things, while you have stated that you hate marriage and men have nothing to gain from it and therefore shown through your words that you are bitter.

I am a believer in marriage, but I am tired of people like you who want to destroy it for everyone else because you had a bad one and wallow in anger. Because there is an abundance of people like you out there, no one is happy and people are divorcing all the time. There's a whole lot of selfish people, in general, both male and female (you are the only one so far saying that one gender is a victim and the other abuses, you are saying because I am a woman, I am being mean to you because you are a male, which I prefer you to just judge my words and disregard my gender. If I am wrong, I am wrong regardless of my gender. If I am right, I am right, regardless of my gender), who ruin marriages, get bitter, and talk about how it just leads to destruction. It's not actual man or woman's fault. It's these generations. We just suck. All of us. People for millenia have gotten married and been find with the institution of it because they weren't selfish and bitter and mean like we are. And being bitter because you got hurt just makes it worse. It just ruins it more and spreads the disease to more people.

I've been abused in my life. How, is none of your business and that's why I can recognize the bitterness and anger immediately. I've felt it too and I don't know why it's taking you so long to realize it's a prison. You can let your ex ruin all your relationships for the rest of your life or you can move on. And by move on, I don't mean that you can't cry . . . . I mean that you're doing productively things to help yourself and not attacking other people. Cry all you want to, but don't stereotype genders as being the manipulative ones or the ones who ruin marriages or whatever.

AFrozenSoul is right as well. The way you presented it is wrong and also why I jumped all over you. Don't pretend you gave us a sob story because you didn't. Instead, you tried to preach to all of us a belief that that book presents to you that I am welcome to not agree with. (Although I do agree with the book, just think it needs to actually help you not be bitter and only did half its job like I said before.)

I've never once denied you've suffered or that it was a bad thing in any of my posts. The only thing I've said is don't destroy your life over it. Sorry for trying to help you. That obviously makes me whatever you want to call me.

And yes, my true colors are revealed. I don't support bitterness. Never have and never will. As someone who has suffered from it severely, I know first hand that all it does is eat your own soul while you rationalize and pretend you're protecting yourself for having it along the way.

 

[Kenny]

What you write is confused, intellectually inferior, follows no logical path, dodges my questions, ignores your previous errors and transgressions, etc.

If it is a foregone conclusion that you will always respond this way, why would I have a conversation with you?

You attacked me and then repeatedly claim I attacked you, when anyone who is not blind can see that this simply did not happen. You don't care about logic, you don't care about debate, you don't care about broadening your perspectives. You don't even want to "argue", you simply want to "fight". I'm really not interested. It is clear that you want a fight because you went six days without responding to any of my undeniable claims about your bizarre behavior and claims in this thread (including where I caught you in two outright lies where you contradicted yourself and I proved it with your own words), instead you waited until you found some other angle to attack me from.

So you can walk away from this thread or any other thread where you have responded to me feeling like you've "won" if you so choose. Go ahead. I truly don't mind. Your idiocy doesn't take away from the valid points I've made or the actual conversation and enlightenment occurring in this thread.

Somehow others have been able to pick up on this, but not you, and I suppose that's my fault too, lol.

Your fatal flaw is that you seem to assume that I am like you in the fact that your efforts seems focused around garnering attention, feeling smart, and upsetting other people. I'm not. I'm here to express myself in whatever way I so choose and I honestly don't care about you.

Good luck to you. Say whatever you want, do whatever you want, claim this as some sort of victory if you want, but I won't be speaking with you for the reasons I just described above.

(Adds Enchanted Girl to ignore list)

 

[Elgin]

I'm a female and I didn't take Kenny's original post as bitter. He was saying the book helped him. He's been through crap and is dealing with it his own way, saying what he thinks. I haven't been in here for a few days and probably wont be back because anyone who doesn't agree with the click in here gets bashed.
@Enchanted you sound more like an angry kid than an adult trying to talk to another adult.
@Kenny maybe that's the problem you're trying to have grown up conversations with people who aren't all that grown up yet.

 

[Enchanted Girl]

I'm a female and I didn't take Kenny's original post as bitter. He was saying the book helped him. He's been through crap and is dealing with it his own way, saying what he thinks. I haven't been in here for a few days and probably wont be back because anyone who doesn't agree with the click in here gets bashed.
@Enchanted you sound more like an angry kid than an adult trying to talk to another adult.
@Kenny maybe that's the problem you're trying to have grown up conversations with people who aren't all that grown up yet.

Actually, I started out this thread talking to someone else. I quoted someone else and my posts was directed at someone else. Kenny made it about him by arguing with me back and revealing certain things in the process that I didn't know about him before.

Whenever people have arguments with one another, they always feel like the other person is "angry." I haven't felt anger even once while debating in this thread. Disagreement doesn't equal anger. In fact, I'd argue that Kenny was the angry one since he decided to never speak to me again period, ever, on this entire forum, while I'll continue reading his posts and not bringing this thread into other threads because I am not angry.

And even if I was angry . . . being angry, does not equal being wrong.

I was going to ask what things I didn't address of his but he didn't want to talk to me anymore. And sometimes I don't address certain issues because I've agreed that that person is right and am letting them have the last say in that part of the argument or in general. I can no longer tell him if those were the cases or not.

 

[Poueff]

Whenever people have arguments with one another, they always feel like the other person is "angry." I haven't felt anger even once while debating in this thread. Disagreement doesn't equal anger. In fact, I'd argue that Kenny was the angry one since he decided to never speak to me again period, ever, on this entire forum, while I'll continue reading his posts and not bringing this thread into other threads because I am not angry

There's a reason behind it,and I think you already know what it is

 

[Enchanted Girl]

Whenever people have arguments with one another, they always feel like the other person is "angry." I haven't felt anger even once while debating in this thread. Disagreement doesn't equal anger. In fact, I'd argue that Kenny was the angry one since he decided to never speak to me again period, ever, on this entire forum, while I'll continue reading his posts and not bringing this thread into other threads because I am not angry

There's a reason behind it,and I think you already know what it is

That people who disagree with someone are always angry? XD I don't think so. Although it's hard to have someone disagree with you. Most people don't enjoy it.

 

[Poueff]

Whenever people have arguments with one another, they always feel like the other person is "angry." I haven't felt anger even once while debating in this thread. Disagreement doesn't equal anger. In fact, I'd argue that Kenny was the angry one since he decided to never speak to me again period, ever, on this entire forum, while I'll continue reading his posts and not bringing this thread into other threads because I am not angry

There's a reason behind it,and I think you already know what it is

That people who disagree with someone are always angry? XD I don't think so. Although it's hard to have someone disagree with you. Most people don't enjoy it.

No,I was talking about the internet. Most people who "get angry" at the Internet generally aren't but come of as that. Maybe he was just tired of arguing this bland point?

 

[Enchanted Girl]

Whenever people have arguments with one another, they always feel like the other person is "angry." I haven't felt anger even once while debating in this thread. Disagreement doesn't equal anger. In fact, I'd argue that Kenny was the angry one since he decided to never speak to me again period, ever, on this entire forum, while I'll continue reading his posts and not bringing this thread into other threads because I am not angry

There's a reason behind it,and I think you already know what it is

That people who disagree with someone are always angry? XD I don't think so. Although it's hard to have someone disagree with you. Most people don't enjoy it.

No,I was talking about the internet. Most people who "get angry" at the Internet generally aren't but come of as that. Maybe he was just tired of arguing this bland point?

Well, if that's the case then it's a better idea to just have the thread locked and leave it at that, but that could be the case.

 

[jales]

Personally I dont think Enchanted girl was bitter or angry at all. I think she argued her point in a mature and commendable fashion.

I agree with you that people deal with stuff in different ways though and that is fine. There is nothing wrong with a book that tells about people going through stuff like that, even if it does not try to heal you. A huge part of healing is understanding that you are not alone, or weird, or a freak, or a fool etc.

I also totally agree with you about the click here on alonelylife. Not everyone is like that here though. But there is a definite click here and they have no shame in bashing everyone who does not either suck up to them or share their exact opinion. Somehow I think they have gotten a bit better but I'm not really sure.

It can be annoying.

And I realize that this post is extremely hypocritical of me; but sometimes I am a hypocrite.

I'm a female and I didn't take Kenny's original post as bitter. He was saying the book helped him. He's been through crap and is dealing with it his own way, saying what he thinks. I haven't been in here for a few days and probably wont be back because anyone who doesn't agree with the click in here gets bashed.
@Enchanted you sound more like an angry kid than an adult trying to talk to another adult.
@Kenny maybe that's the problem you're trying to have grown up conversations with people who aren't all that grown up yet.

 

[Undone]

I wish I had this book prior to meeting my last girlfriend, who took advantage of me by lying about getting back with her ex when we were together.

Because of her I've remained single for 4+ years now. I don't talk to women or even think to consider trying to get a little action here and there. She messed that up for me.

I hope to get my hands on this book in the near future, and perhaps get over my absolute and pure hatred for the opposite sex.

Thanks for sharing!