Had a great first date but now im confused

[Xpendable]

If that's the case, better leave a woman with her son and move on; it's not worth it.

 

[kamya]

There is NO greater love than that between a mother and child.  Understand and accept this, and you'll be OK.  Try to change it, and you may as well try to turn the tide.  You can't.  And you'll be shown the door.

It has nothing to do with the kid. She wasn't really interested in another date. Even if she was, OP definitely didn't do himself any favors by coming off so needy. That is all. 

The kid is a very nice excuse though.

 

[TheRealCallie]

If that's the case, better leave a woman with her son and move on; it's not worth it.

I take it you aren't a fan of children?

There is NO greater love than that between a mother and child.  Understand and accept this, and you'll be OK.  Try to change it, and you may as well try to turn the tide.  You can't.  And you'll be shown the door.

It has nothing to do with the kid. She wasn't really interested in another date. Even if she was, OP definitely didn't do himself any favors by coming off so needy. That is all. 

The kid is a very nice excuse though.

It has everything to do with the kid.  The woman said she was interested in getting together again and that her kid was coming.

 

[ardour]

Probably won't happen now anyway.

OP what the hell... 3 days. You shouldn't have messaged her until at least a week later, then kept it short.

 

[Hawx79]

Probably won't happen now anyway.

OP what the hell... 3 days. You shouldn't have messaged her until at least a week later, then kept it short.

I only wrote her 3 days later to congratulate her on mothers day and our chat sessions only lasted a few minutes, that's all.

 

[TheRealCallie]

And here you have a 3 page thread about how she doesn't want you, she blew you off, she lied to you, etc etc.....all because YOU jumped the gun. She told you her kid was coming. Mother's Day is not for someone who has had ONE date to congratulate them. It's for her to spend time with her kid.
I would recommend getting your neediness and obsession in check before you even try to have a relationship with anyone. If you don't, it's unlikely you will ever have one.

 

[Hawx79]

And here you have a 3 page thread about how she doesn't want you, she blew you off, she lied to you, etc etc.....all because YOU jumped the gun.  She told you her kid was coming.  Mother's Day is not for someone who has had ONE date to congratulate them.  It's for her to spend time with her kid.  
I would recommend getting your neediness and obsession in check before you even try to have a relationship with anyone.  If you don't, it's unlikely you will ever have one.

Do you have brain trauma?

 

[TheRealCallie]

If I do, it's from having to repeat myself so damn much because some people don't want to listen to anyone because they think they have all the damn answers and no one else could possibly have any idea what's going on, even though several people tell them the same damn thing...

 

[VanillaCreme]

And here you have a 3 page thread about how she doesn't want you, she blew you off, she lied to you, etc etc.....all because YOU jumped the gun.  She told you her kid was coming.  Mother's Day is not for someone who has had ONE date to congratulate them.  It's for her to spend time with her kid.  
I would recommend getting your neediness and obsession in check before you even try to have a relationship with anyone.  If you don't, it's unlikely you will ever have one.

Do you have brain trauma?

If you feel the need to have a bad attitude, then try not responding. This is a thread you created to ask for advice, and while you don't have to take it, you don't have to resort to being rude because you don't like what's being said. Ignore it.

 

[DarkSelene]

Wow, everyone got so pissy here... 
What you have to do is choose if you want to continue waiting and hope that she was being sincere or if you want to put your eggs in a different basket. You can also keep waiting while trying to find new people. 

Look, there's nothing wrong in sending a message to show her that you care, but if she already explained and told you to wait you should have some patience too. If you don't want to wait, tell her that you had a nice time but you want to meet someone who has time to be close. 
There's nothing wrong with keeping her family at a distance, she doesn't know you much anyways so it's more of a responsibility that she has, and she did reply to you so... 
I didn't get the train ticket thing, could you explain that? Are you guys very far from each other?

 

[Joturbo]

I'd just get on with your life if I was you.You sound a decent chap and I think you've done everything that I'd probably do if I was keen on someone.If she comes back its a bonus but I think her actions  don't bode well for the future.Either that or she's skint ,has someone else on the boil...I could go on.women are veeeerrryyyy complicated :club:

 

[Joturbo]

Just stop messaging her FFS! Sorry but you're not helping things, you're making yourself look needy (at best), and a potential problem/pest at worst.

There was a reason she said she'll let you know - she doesn't want to be bothered. It doesn't bode well when someone says this, but then I tend to read negative things into situations, and the fact that she has a child probably has a lot do with it as well.

If she doesn't message you after a couple of weeks, then you'll know.

Yes your right I think. My gut feeling now is that she just wanted to have a nice day out without any serious intentions with me.

Do you want to know why you (and I'm sure several others here) can't hold down a relationship?  This right here.  You obsess, you bother, you send out so many red flags.  In other words, YOU ruin the relationship before it can even think about getting started. 
The woman has a 6 year old son.  Now, I know this may be difficult for some of you to understand, but sometimes women actually care and do **** with their children.  The child is not in school over the weekend and it's a damn holiday weekend.  So she is likely spending time with her kid, who will likely always be more important than you....sorry, but with any good mother, that's how it's going to be.  The KID comes first, not some guy she had one date with.  Let the woman have some time with her son, for ****'s sake.  She told you he was coming, most likely so you would understand that she might not be able to chat with you.  Now stop with the obsession, stop getting jealous of a 6 year old and maybe just see where it goes, because if you keep up this crap, you won't have any chance of getting a relationship. And I don't care if you say you don't do this around her, it will show, it will come across in your messages because you are too negative and have already given up on something that never even really started.

And this post really is not fair and I think is insulting to the people it's directed at and I would be mightily pissed off if aimed at me Realcallie

 

[TheRealCallie]

Just stop messaging her FFS! Sorry but you're not helping things, you're making yourself look needy (at best), and a potential problem/pest at worst.

There was a reason she said she'll let you know - she doesn't want to be bothered. It doesn't bode well when someone says this, but then I tend to read negative things into situations, and the fact that she has a child probably has a lot do with it as well.

If she doesn't message you after a couple of weeks, then you'll know.

Yes your right I think. My gut feeling now is that she just wanted to have a nice day out without any serious intentions with me.

Do you want to know why you (and I'm sure several others here) can't hold down a relationship?  This right here.  You obsess, you bother, you send out so many red flags.  In other words, YOU ruin the relationship before it can even think about getting started. 
The woman has a 6 year old son.  Now, I know this may be difficult for some of you to understand, but sometimes women actually care and do **** with their children.  The child is not in school over the weekend and it's a damn holiday weekend.  So she is likely spending time with her kid, who will likely always be more important than you....sorry, but with any good mother, that's how it's going to be.  The KID comes first, not some guy she had one date with.  Let the woman have some time with her son, for ****'s sake.  She told you he was coming, most likely so you would understand that she might not be able to chat with you.  Now stop with the obsession, stop getting jealous of a 6 year old and maybe just see where it goes, because if you keep up this crap, you won't have any chance of getting a relationship. And I don't care if you say you don't do this around her, it will show, it will come across in your messages because you are too negative and have already given up on something that never even really started.

And this post really is not fair and I think is insulting to the people it's directed at and I would be mightily pissed off if aimed at me Realcallie

How is it insulting? You have several people who automatically jump to the "omg, I've been rejected" scenario when there is no real indication that they were rejected.  People try to tell them this and they come back insulting them or making up more excuses.  If you constantly send out red flags, you will NOT be able to hold down a relationship or potentially even get one started.  That's not insulting, it's just a fact.  
And if you choose to date a single mother (or father), you are just going to have to get over the fact that the kid will likely always come first.

 

[Hawx79]

@Darkselene "I didn't get the train ticket thing, could you explain that? Are you guys very far from each other"

We both live in small towns 100km apart and we decided on our first date to meet in the middle at a big city. She would come with train and me with the car.
After our first date the next day I wrote her if she wanted you go on another date with me or that she needed to think about it. She said she would like again on a date and if I had an idea on somewhere different. And I suggest another city this time and she replied with that she would search for a cheap train action ticket to there, but train tickets aren't very expensive here and she ain't poor either.

 

[TheRealCallie]

I'm not exactly poor either and I would still search for the cheapest ticket. Just because you have a little bit of money doesn't mean you should just buy the first thing, regardless of price. Every time I buy something, I search for it to see if I can get it cheaper or if I can find a coupon for it. That's why I'm not poor.
I just really don't understand why you automatically jump to her not wanting this, when she stated pretty damn plainly that she would like to see you again.

 

[Hawx79]

I will definitely not write her anymore. I'll just hope and wait for her to write me. If she does I'd be really happy but I'm not counting on it anymore

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@Realcallie. Her child was at her ex husband when she didn't want to communicate with me. Only after 3 days after our date did she say he would come to her, but she didn't write me less because she didn't wrote me at all... So her child wasn't even in the picture when she didn't wanted to chat with me despite her telling me she would like to go an another date with me. Words are cheap, its actions that show the persons true intentions and her intentions is very cold to me and leading me on.
I wrote her that I couldn't wait to see her again but she didn't care and kept treating me as if I don't exist and don't matter as I see her sometimes online on WhatsApp.

 

[TheRealCallie]

The kid is ALWAYS in the picture, whether he is with her or with the father. Who has custody? If it's the father that has custody of the child, it makes even more sense, since she doesn't have the child every day. If she has custody and the child was with the father for a while, she was likely getting pretty excited for him to come back and had things to do before he came home. Having children and two households is not always an easy thing. It doesn't sound like you know a whole lot about the situation, so you especially shouldn't jump to conclusions when children are involved, because single parents are usually even more observant of red flags than people who aren't parents because they also have a child to think about. They tend to be more reserved when dating because their child is the most important person.

She didn't care? How do you know? Did she say this to you? Acting like you don't exist? Is she supposed to drop everything in her life to coddle you? Just because someone is online does NOT mean they are there or able to talk. How do you know she wasn't talking to the father of her child about something concerning the child?

STOP THINKING FOR HER!

 

[VanillaCreme]

I will definitely not write her anymore. I'll just hope and wait for her to write me. If she does I'd be really happy but I'm not counting on it anymore

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@Realcallie. Her child was at her ex husband when she didn't want to communicate with me. Only after 3 days after our date did she say he would come to her, but she didn't write me less because she didn't wrote me at all... So her child wasn't even in the picture when she didn't wanted to chat with me despite her telling me she would like to go an another date with me. Words are cheap, its actions that show the persons true intentions and her intentions is very cold to me and leading me on.
I wrote her that I couldn't wait to see her again but she didn't care and kept treating me as if I don't exist and don't matter as I see her sometimes online on WhatsApp.

---

If you honestly think that she doesn't care and intentionally didn't treat you right, why bother? She really doesn't have to say that she doesn't want to talk anymore. It would be a nice gesture if she did, but she doesn't have to. Concentrate on someone who will give you decent thought.

 

[Hawx79]

@TheRealCallie

I'm not even going to argue with you anymore. You think you know this situation better then me. Perhaps I didn't make myself clear enough on what happened or you didn't read carefully my previous posts but you like to have your own side of the story but that's okay. But I also don't have to reply to you anymore. Your disrespectful to me, after what I have been thru. I only wrote a few words to her and made it clear that I really liked her and couldn't wait to see her again, but she didn't even bother to reply on that.
You seem like a hot headed feminist who always sides on female. Consider yourself on my ignore list.

 

[TheRealCallie]

Says the person who flat out insulted me...yeah, okay.

What YOU don't understand and I do is being a mother. You have no idea what that's like and until or unless you have kids, you will never know. And no, I don't always agree with females.