Had a great first date but now im confused

[VanillaCreme]

Enough please.

 

[DarkSelene]

jesus christ, chill the **** out...

Now that you shared everything in details and you have sent her a message on Mother's Day, I'd say yeah... don't send anything else. If she likes you and wants to date you more, she'll get back to you when she has more time. If not, you know you did everything you could.
Do you agree with others that commented that her actions are portraying her as a bad person somehow? Tbh, I don't agree with that.

Also, would you be willing to pay for her ticket? If she does get back to you and say she needs to wait more for the ticket thing, I personally would find it sorta sweet if you were like "Let me pay, I'd like to see you sooner than that", you know?! But, if you think that's too needy then forget it.

P.s.: Isn't this whole dating scene "game" annoying as ****? Like, having to think about what your image is like and what you can and cannot say? Gawd, that sucks ***.

 

[Red_Wedding_Casualty]

Much like a money loan, you need to first prove that you don't even want a relationship in order to get in one.

 

[ardour]

While desperation is understandable for an older man with little-to-no relationship experience, this level of emotional attachment after one date isn't good and we have to use common sense as to how our actions are going to be perceived.

Honestly it seems unlikely that she'll message you, so you may as well prepare for that now. Maybe learn from this?

 

[Hawx79]

Also, would you be willing to pay for her ticket? If she does get back to you and say she needs to wait more for the ticket thing, I personally would find it sorta sweet if you were like "Let me pay, I'd like to see you sooner than that", you know?! But, if you think that's too needy then forget it.

Ofcourse I wouldn't mind paying her ticket but as she continues to treat me like I don't even exist, I can't even offer it. And some women don't like being paid for, especially if they don't see a future with you. But next time I'll keep it in mind to say it earlier.

---

Honestly it seems unlikely that she'll message you, so you may as well prepare for that now. Maybe learn from this?

Yea I don't think so either unfortunately for me.
I guess I have to accept my loss and continue searching again, but I'm really fed up with dating sites.

 

[Red_Wedding_Casualty]

You know, you should actually consider yourself lucky you actually got a date out of a dating site. Most of us here will barely get replies back.

 

[bleed_the_freak]

After reading this, I love my cats more than ever.

 

[Hawx79]

You know, you should actually consider yourself lucky you actually got a date out of a dating site. Most of us here will barely get replies back.

Not really lucky, I have pain now.

 

[Red_Wedding_Casualty]

Not really lucky, I have pain now.

*Sigh* Look dude. I'm not sure how young you are. I'm going to assume you're early to mid 20's. You're probably young, so you've got a chance to learn the lesson now. The Internet does not care how hurt you are. You saw this when Callie tore chunks out of you. There's a saying I learnt from a friend of mine: "Sure, you can put down your bags every now and then, but never ever stop to unpack them." What this means is, by all means. Feel sad. Feel what you have to feel. But don't gravitate on it for too long. It should be obvious now that the most prudent strategy available to you is to withdraw, and take the lessons learnt from this experience, and the advice given to you here.

 

[TheRealCallie]

I really don't understand this and what's really sad is that it happens all the time.  She told him that she doesn't like to chat, she told him that she would go out with him again, she told him that her kid was coming.
What did he do with all this information?  He pushed and then he comes on here trying to make it out like he is the injured party.  I'm sorry, but that's not what I see here based on what he, himself told us. If you all want to ignore those facts, that's fine, but I won't.  He has not said one thing that makes me think she was rejecting him.  And if she is now, he pushed too much.  The woman has a kid and unless you are a parent, you have no idea how busy that makes you.

 

[Joturbo]

I was a single mum/dad 5 eves a week for 12 years it's not that hard .
.Still had 3 hrs an evening to chill out....

 

[ABrokenMan]

I really don't understand this and what's really sad is that it happens all the time.  She told him that she doesn't like to chat, she told him that she would go out with him again, she told him that her kid was coming.
What did he do with all this information?  He pushed and then he comes on here trying to make it out like he is the injured party.  I'm sorry, but that's not what I see here based on what he, himself told us. If you all want to ignore those facts, that's fine, but I won't.  He has not said one thing that makes me think she was rejecting him.  And if she is now, he pushed too much.  The woman has a kid and unless you are a parent, you have no idea how busy that makes you.

RealCallie is dead-on - a single female parent will ALWAYS place her child / children ahead of any potential partner that comes into her life.  Perpetually single / lonely / woe-is-me guys are red flags for any woman who is a single parent.  The last thing I would want if I were a single parent is some needy / clingy / save me from my doom of loneliness type woman.
I find it laughable that some feel her analysis of the situation is "not fair". Just because she is expressing a viewpoint that is painfully accurate and spot-on? Something that you self-afflicted loser guys do not want to hear?

I'm a helluva lot older than most of the guys who post the same old story on ALL.  I'm far from successful regarding relationships with women, but I've learned thru hard knocks and painful failures that it is fine to lament for a while, then you need to move on, and try again. Don't want to try?  Want to give up?  Then shut up and stop whining.

 

[ardour]

^Maybe you could try and not stick us all in neat category where we supposedly think and act identically? Only someone with a reasonably full relationship history could be arrogant enough to post that. OP is allowed to lament while learning from this.

 

[DarkSelene]

Who wants to affirm themselves as a good parent more than helping anyone, raise your hand.

 

[Red_Wedding_Casualty]

He's not really wrong though, Ardour. I have a close friend who's a single mother. For the sake of her child, she has to be super picky about her potential next partner. Because he's not just got to be an ideal male companion, he's also got to be able, AND willing to be a part-time dad, or eventually a full-time Dad. People like us who are completely inept at even talking to women we're interested in?

No chance in hell, you unreasonable dicks.

Like, I get it. It feels condescending as **** when people with prior relationship experience speak down to those of us who haven't. But whether we like it or not, they've earned the right to be arrogant. And in situations where there might be children involved, people like us who have no real experience have no ground to argue back from.

 

[Joturbo]

I really don't understand this and what's really sad is that it happens all the time.  She told him that she doesn't like to chat, she told him that she would go out with him again, she told him that her kid was coming.
What did he do with all this information?  He pushed and then he comes on here trying to make it out like he is the injured party.  I'm sorry, but that's not what I see here based on what he, himself told us. If you all want to ignore those facts, that's fine, but I won't.  He has not said one thing that makes me think she was rejecting him.  And if she is now, he pushed too much.  The woman has a kid and unless you are a parent, you have no idea how busy that makes you.

RealCallie is dead-on - a single female parent will ALWAYS place her child / children ahead of any potential partner that comes into her life.  Perpetually single / lonely / woe-is-me guys are red flags for any woman who is a single parent.  The last thing I would want if I were a single parent is some needy / clingy / save me from my doom of loneliness type woman.
I find it laughable that some feel her analysis of the situation is "not fair". Just because she is expressing a viewpoint that is painfully accurate and spot-on? Something that you self-afflicted loser guys do not want to hear?

I'm a helluva lot older than most of the guys who post the same old story on ALL.  I'm far from successful regarding relationships with women, but I've learned thru hard knocks and painful failures that it is fine to lament for a while, then you need to move on, and try again. Don't want to try?  Want to give up?  Then shut up and stop whining.

I'm at work on phone ...would u say him being accused of being jealous of a six 
year old fair?

 

[TheRealCallie]

He's not really wrong though, Ardour. I have a close friend who's a single mother. For the sake of her child, she has to be super picky about her potential next partner. Because he's not just got to be an ideal male companion, he's also got to be able, AND willing to be a part-time dad, or eventually a full-time Dad. People like us who are completely inept at even talking to women we're interested in?

No chance in hell, you unreasonable dicks.

Like, I get it. It feels condescending as **** when people with prior relationship experience speak down to those of us who haven't. But whether we like it or not, they've earned the right to be arrogant. And in situations where there might be children involved, people like us who have no real experience have no ground to argue back from.

I know every parent is different, but my take on  this sentence is that my kids have a father.  Any guy I get into a relationship would NOT be a father.  I would want him to be a role model, a mentor, a provider (if it's a long term relationship...NOT to say he has to pay for everything or that he would be expected to).  Regardless of whether my kids' father is a good father or a bad father, he is and always will be their father.  I also wouldn't want them calling anyone I date or marry "dad."

 

[DarkSelene]

lol

 

[kamya]

I was a single mum/dad 5 eves a week for 12 years it's not that hard .
.Still had 3 hrs an evening to chill out....

Shh. Don't ruin the single parent super hero image! Some people NEED this. =p

Imo the kid doesn't matter in this situation. The main issue is OP coming off as needy. Its better to wait things out instead of jumping to conclusions. 

In this situation I would have probably leaned towards her not being interested and then waited it out to see whether my intuitions were right or not.

 

[Red_Wedding_Casualty]

The thing about my single mother friend is that, she wishes the most violent death on her child's biological father. So in her case, her next man absolutely has to be ready to be 'dad'.