Helping a Partner with depression

[Ginock]

My partner and I are coming up on our one year anniversary this week, honestly I didn't think they would put up with me for this long but hey, maybe I got lucky

We were both open about our pasts and what we had been through including feelings of depression, su**de and not feeling like things were on our side. For the most part I feel I have been there and tried to help as much as I can but recently things have felt off. I tried not to push anything for fear of saying the wrong thing or pushing them away but one night this week they said it was their problem and had to get through it. I have suggested maybe some kind of therapy to help us and I also said if they wanted to walk away and if it was too much I would understand. I do not want this but I do not want them to feel trapped.

I am worried I am not doing enough to help but I do not want to be patronizing and putting my nose somewhere it does not belong, does anyone have any advice?

 

[TogetherAlone]

By even posting this and seeking help it appears you are def doing enough if not more then should ever be expected of someone.

I'm sorry you're going through this and hope you and your partner can sort something out and mend whatever bridge is there.

Wishing you both all the best, stay safe and take care <3

 

[okidoke]

Have you just straight out asked them if you're being everything they need you to be for them?

 

[Ginock]

Have you just straight out asked them if you're being everything they need you to be for them?

I have yes but I am worried about burdening them and in some way making it worse if that makes sense? I don't want to be to pushy or say or do something wrong.

 

[okidoke]

I have yes but I am worried about burdening them and in some way making it worse if that makes sense? I don't want to be to pushy or say or do something wrong.

All you can do is let them know that you're there for them and happy to listen and support them.

 

[TropicalStarfish]

If I was advising myself, in a situation like that, I guess I'd say..

Making sure to take care of yourself, can perhaps, also be a way to help some one else, especially if they are retreating (because what else can you do, if they aren't receptive at the moment).

Secondly, I'd say, life happens moment to moment. Perhaps there is that fear now, but, in time, things may change.

Thirdly I'd say, it's difficult to know, about being pushy: too much, and it's too much, too little and it's too little. So, be mindful of the fear, recognition of it seems a good starting point. Mistakes can happen, are part of it. Perhaps don't worry about it too much, and trust yourself to know which is which.

Congrats, on your first year. Stormy seas are probably par for the course, when it comes to sailing. You'll make it through. Best to you both.

 

[TheRealCallie]

Like the others said, all you can do is be there and support them. It really is their fight, but that doesn't mean you being there and support them doesn't help. I can guarantee that it does. As long as they know you are there if needed, that means a lot.