Here's a question for the dudes.

[Yeah!]

For the record, I, too, am a dude (Pretty sure).

Question here is, why are many of you unable to accept that sometimes, a chick just wants to be a buddy? You might be super into her, but she mightn't be into you beyond the platonic. Why is this a problem? If you like her enough to wanna bang her and be in a relationship, why don't you like her enough to just hang out, see a movie or play vidya? Please, don't tell me this isn't the case, a very brief glance over the threads and comments of this board will show you exactly what I'm talking about. You yourself, dear reader, mightn't be that guy, but what gives? I'll bet there were chicks that totally wanted to jump yr bones but you didn't think they were attractive. Why the double standard, especially when hypocrisy is a major rant material, which in itself is hypocritical. I DEMAND AN EXPLANATION please.

Not trollin', not baitin', just wonderin'.

 

[allanh]

I will kick off with answering.

There are girls whom you don't mind being buddies with, but there are also girls whom you like as romantic interests. What's the next step? You approach them and either get accepted or rejected. Do you know how hard (and awkward) to remain as friends after being told "No , I am not interested".

The "Can't we just be friends?" line is usually just a polite way of rejecting a guy. Ideally, the guy and the girl should still be able to remain as friends, right? Well, it is possible but very awkward since from that point onwards, all your talks/approachs may be interpreted as possible sexual/romantic advances. I don't know if you have been in this situation yourself, but it's hard.

I don't think any guy here is blaming the girl for rejecting him. We are just sad and have nowhere to vent (hence coming to this board). In a relationship, there is rarely right or wrong.

 

[Yeah!]

I have asked, and have been rejected a whole bunch of times. We would still hang out, play some Brawl. There just seems to be so much animosity. I know it hurts, but instead of crying yourselves a river for eternity, why not work on the stuff that's holding you back? You can't make an omelette without breaking some eggs, and sometimes you'll get an egg that makes that omelette inedible, but if you like omelettes, get a new carton of eggs.

 

[allanh]

I don't know. For me, it's usually not me avoiding the girl afterwards. It's usually her avoiding me

 

[trZ]

To be honest, guy friends > girl friends because I have more common interests with them and I don't need to listen to all their problems at all times. If I have romantic feelings for a girl, and get declined, i will not stay friends, I will just get out of there. I can't sit there, pretending I want to be friends with her when I want to be in a romantic relationship. It just doesn't work out, its just unecessary to make it hard on one self.

 

[jjam]

-acquaintance
-friend
-approaching or spouse

I'm all for being a friend with a woman. I'm all for a mere acquaintanceship if that's what she wants. All I ask (and I REALLY don't think this is asking much) is that WHATEVER level of relationship you'd like for us to have, let's try to signal this consistently.

If we are already acquaintances, and that's what you want us to be, then leave it there. I don't need your number. I don't need to hang out with you. We don't need to have any deeper conversations. We know names and we know some minor insignificant details about each other. We say hi how are you when we really don't give a damn. And then we say goodbye, not caring if we see each other again for a long time. That's how those work for me.

You wanna be friends? Okay. Let's talk. Give me your number. Let's hang out. Let's BOTH behave as though we want to know what's going on with each other and that we want to see each other, not just one person putting forth the effort while the other makes it out to be some kind of privilege that he/she is allowing the effort maker to have. Let's be prepared to forgive and ask for forgiveness. Let's be prepared to accommodate each other in order to sustain the friendship. Let's hope we'll grow closer (a closer friend) over time, though not necessarily with an intention to become lovers.

 

[nerdygirl]

To be honest, guy friends > girl friends because I have more common interests with them and I don't need to listen to all their problems at all times.

As a girl with mostly male friends, I'd like to point out that it's usually ME listening to THEIR problems... and that "common interests" thing is a lame excuse. Girls like a lot of the same things guys do.

 

[trZ]

To be honest, guy friends > girl friends because I have more common interests with them and I don't need to listen to all their problems at all times.

As a girl with mostly male friends, I'd like to point out that it's usually ME listening to THEIR problems... and that "common interests" thing is a lame excuse. Girls like a lot of the same things guys do.

People can do what they want, I enjoy being with my male friends more than my female friends. If a person finds out that well this girl doesn't want to be with me, I'll enjoy being friends! Then thats great, but in almost all scenarios, they are just being friends because they think it will ever go any further, and its just torturing them selves. Do what makes you happy, aye

 

[IgnoredOne]

For the record, I, too, am a dude (Pretty sure).

Question here is, why are many of you unable to accept that sometimes, a chick just wants to be a buddy? You might be super into her, but she mightn't be into you beyond the platonic. Why is this a problem? If you like her enough to wanna bang her and be in a relationship, why don't you like her enough to just hang out, see a movie or play vidya?

Honestly, this rarely works out for me because there are emotional issues involved and at some point, its pretty obvious that I'm 'faking friendship' and not trying to ask for more. The girls I've known can always tell that and it usually makes the more awkward, which makes me want to do 'more' to keep in contact which leads to a natural spiral of disaster.

In short, irrational emotional compulsion. Its ultimately not 'natural' for male minds, I don't believe, to have that kind of awkwardness; some part of our genetic makeup for many of us expects that the only reason why we can't have the girl is because of some other guy, that we're not good enough, etc, etc.

I can certainly find a consistent understanding there. For those who can, and indeed, focus themselves more intelligently and composedly, you have my respect.

As a girl with mostly male friends, I'd like to point out that it's usually ME listening to THEIR problems... and that "common interests" thing is a lame excuse. Girls like a lot of the same things guys do.

Maybe. But even when girls have 'common interests', the way they prosecute it is very different in my experience. I've given up, for example, ever trying to include women in most of my gaming groups because their attitude toward winning is insufferable to me - while the rest of my group can be calmly focused on winning at any cost and taking responsibility if someone makes the team lose, women almost always seem to bring an emotional component that wrecks the synergy. I've had one girl go berserk at me for "its just a game! You should be having fun! Who cares about winning?" and constantly yell, even scream for me showing "favoritism" because of my calm and proven belief that a might makes right system works. Another girl seemed happy until one day, she exploded with, "I don't like doing things like this! I'm only doing it because all your guys insist on it! I'm not good at voicing my opinions, maybe, but you should care more "

God damn it. I care about who's most efficient and effective. I believe that the best should be admired and the weak should be hazed until they learn to serve better. I couldn't give a larger damn about 'fairness' if it reduces our overall effectiveness. I treat my real-life projects the same, and at this point, am almost sexist in a way about including women in my teams lest they begin to bring up such concerns as well.

Its not that I'm not fair. I've told every person who objects to me the same thing - if he feels that he/she can do better than me, then he/she can simply present the numbers of measureable improvement versus cost. Men I've worked with can appreciate that logic; women don't, and sometimes invoke some unquantifiable social or moral benefit. Quantify it, damn it. Prove that you can do better than me if you're going to correct me. That's all I ask.

 

[nerdygirl]

!

I assure you that there are plenty of girl gamers out here who are not jerks! Your experiences have been with sucky girls.

 

[SkuzzieMuff]

If you like her enough to wanna bang her and be in a relationship, why don't you like her enough to just hang out, see a movie or play vidya?

I may not be a dude, but I'm wondering why the desire to bang them comes first... That might be some of the problem with being friend listed... If girls notice you coming on too strong, they may push you guys away... And if she avoids you after your attempt to ask, that's a good sign that you came on too fast or strong.

 

[IgnoredOne]

I assure you that there are plenty of girl gamers out here who are not jerks! Your experiences have been with sucky girls.

I'll keep the torch out.

 

[trZ]

If you like her enough to wanna bang her and be in a relationship, why don't you like her enough to just hang out, see a movie or play vidya?

I may not be a dude, but I'm wondering why the desire to bang them comes first... That might be some of the problem with being friend listed... If girls notice you coming on too strong, they may push you guys away... And if she avoids you after your attempt to ask, that's a good sign that you came on too fast or strong.

The truth.

 

[IgnoredOne]

I may not be a dude, but I'm wondering why the desire to bang them comes first... That might be some of the problem with being friend listed... If girls notice you coming on too strong, they may push you guys away... And if she avoids you after your attempt to ask, that's a good sign that you came on too fast or strong.

The 'desire to bang' comes first and pretty automatically, actually, often on first impression. I once joked that I have that desire toward XX, where XX is 33% of all women between the ages 16>XX<30, and that's unfortunately pretty true. There's a sexual component in our attraction to women, even if its just to spend time with them, and its not always conscious.

The only difference is whether that sexual attraction changes from the norm(I'll have her if I can and there are not too many repurcussions) to significant(I want to have her and I'll put in so much, much, much effort! I should be rewarded!). There is a lot of other confused norms and beliefs there, too, and society doesn't help by not sending us clear messages. Ultimately, if we fail, then we end up believing the second collary('effort was tired, I failed. She doesn't like me because I'm not worthwhile/too ugly/not good enough. I am worthless. I am worthless...) and then that can drive us to become even more desperate for validation from the next girl.

Enough of that and we become Loveshy.

 

[Lonesome Crow]

K......
1. I be hunter.

2. Gods purpose for me is to conquard the nookie...to set things right again. Aeons ago Nookie bump her fucken head
and eat the fruit of knowelege.. She became delusional. She thinks she kmows everything and cant STFU..
With Knowlege comes dystructions..such as E=MC2.. So if I tapp the nookie just right. Perhasp .shell wanna swallow . At the very least there will be peace on earth for 15 mins
Throughout history...empire had been won or lost cuz of Nookie. The power of nookie had broght many many great men to thier knees.

3. If all it took was a movie and a box of candie to win a woman.s heart. Life would be much more simple wouldnt it?
But no....when the red head moster shows up.....everything a man do will be wrong to her...cuzse shes all wrong deep inside to begin with.

4 Not all nookie looks the same, smells the same, or taste the same. Im curious if the carpet matches the cuttains. Now a day its more difficuilt to determind cuz shes shaven.

---

5. Its an amazing site to see when you conquard the nookie.. She,ll gush like a fountain, go into uncontrollable shivering as if shes having seisure for 5 to 10 mins....You can see the look in her eyes as she say...
" OH MY FUCKEN GOD!!!!!"

Its god working through me....

 

[trZ]

What the hell

 

[Lonesome Crow]

6. Theres an anceint religion or beleifs system....If a man can conquard 10 nookie in a life time without losing himself he will become a devine Being or a god.

---

What the hell

Im guessing you had never conquard ***** before...as in getting a woman totally off. Shell cream all over the bed...puddle and puddles of her cream
as if she pee in bed. Its a tasteless orderless liquid.. Shell also go into a spazism .A major..major orgaism.
You can feel the glans on each side of her virgina.. IF u hit her G stop just right...shell gush like crazy.
You can also stimulate her Clit which
is very sensitive..to get her to have an orgasim but its nothing compair to hitting her G spot.

Most guys are still in the mindset
of getting themselves off first and only instead of pleasing thier *** partner

Pershap just lack of experince and never had a woman let him explore
her sexual organs. .

---

When you releave sexual tension for a woman or man. The brain relese natural endorphine.

sexual tension cuase depression. Stress..etc...etc

if a person isnt sexually fustrated...there will be less tension in that person....therefore less tension in the relationship.

*** is not a dirty thing..but so much
guilt and shame had been stress through religion or other beliefs.
Plenty of sexually fustrated people walking around feeling GUILTY

---

When you releave sexual tension for a woman or man. The brain relese natural endorphine.

sexual tension cuase depression. Stress..etc...etc

if a person isnt sexually fustrated...there will be less tension in that person....therefore less tension in the relationship.

*** is not a dirty thing..but so much
guilt and shame had been stress through religion or other beliefs.
Plenty of sexually fustrated people walking around feeling GUILTY

 

[SkuzzieMuff]

I may not be a dude, but I'm wondering why the desire to bang them comes first... That might be some of the problem with being friend listed... If girls notice you coming on too strong, they may push you guys away... And if she avoids you after your attempt to ask, that's a good sign that you came on too fast or strong.

The 'desire to bang' comes first and pretty automatically, actually, often on first impression. I once joked that I have that desire toward XX, where XX is 33% of all women between the ages 16>XX<30, and that's unfortunately pretty true. There's a sexual component in our attraction to women, even if its just to spend time with them, and its not always conscious.

The only difference is whether that sexual attraction changes from the norm(I'll have her if I can and there are not too many repurcussions) to significant(I want to have her and I'll put in so much, much, much effort! I should be rewarded!). There is a lot of other confused norms and beliefs there, too, and society doesn't help by not sending us clear messages. Ultimately, if we fail, then we end up believing the second collary('effort was tired, I failed. She doesn't like me because I'm not worthwhile/too ugly/not good enough. I am worthless. I am worthless...) and then that can drive us to become even more desperate for validation from the next girl.

Enough of that and we become Loveshy.

Maybe that came off as a bit confusing... I find it pathetic that men are driven by their penises, but I know that it's true. Really, you've gotta learn to be smooth about it and not make it obvious that your ***** is leading you around like it's taunting you with a piece of meat hanging in front of your face. One must learn to be the master of his *****. XD

 

[Lonesome Crow]

Errrr....yeah
My ***** has a mind of its own...
Women use that to their advantage.
Theyll place the nookie on a pedistal and make it the holy grail of humanity....love me. Hold me. Dine me. Blah...blah..blah..
If you love me...you will do this or that. Change boy!
Earn it dude!

Then those fucken head lights have me looking like a deer..as I stair into the lights of heaven

---

The secret is women love and enjoy *** just as much as men....theyre just slide about it....Oops I mean lady like.

Inside every women theres a **** waiting and wanting to come out.
You just learn how to play alone
with her game....yes. Kiss and dont tell and all that good stuff.

of course I dont say none of this **** to women I date IRL.
Im not dating anyone on this forum..

---

The secret that women dont want you to know dudes...

Inside every woman there a **** wanting and waiting to come out of her. Women enjoy *** and wants *** just as much as men do...they just go about it differently....

She might not be lead by a ***** but .she lead by her virgina and her emotions just the same. .

Just play alone with her game...be slide and treat her lady like for the rest of the world as she wants the world to see....

 

[IgnoredOne]

Maybe that came off as a bit confusing... I find it pathetic that men are driven by their penises, but I know that it's true. Really, you've gotta learn to be smooth about it and not make it obvious that your ***** is leading you around like it's taunting you with a piece of meat hanging in front of your face. One must learn to be the master of his *****. XD

Yes, the subtle art of wanting to copulate but pretending not to. Let us join hands, dance Hokey Pokey and celebrate this glorious hypocrisy that human society is built on!