Here's a question for the dudes.

[IgnoredOne]

trZ basically hit it, though I'll amend it slightly: it is about attraction, though I think there are also certain mental blocks that men find acceptable as 'no chase'; for me, most notably, I don't flirt with or interact in anything less than completely with the girlfriends of my male friends; they're off limits. I refuse to even see them as attractive in anything but the most platonic of senses, even.

If they become single again, then that immediately ceases to be a consideration. I also don't particularly limit myself from the girlfriends of other men, so as long as they're not friends of mine.

And there is really almost no doubt in my mind that attraction does have a component for me even in some platonic friendships, but really, how is that not true of all things? Every aspect impacts a friendship somehow. I am obviously sweeter and nicer toward attractive, younger girls; less personal and intimate toward women I'm not attracted to; more professional and calm toward older women; and my behavior toward men are an entirely different set as well.

I don't see it as hypocritical: just the natural human condition, where every aspect of our perception then colors and affects our actions.

 

[ShybutHi]

trZ basically hit it, though I'll amend it slightly: it is about attraction, though I think there are also certain mental blocks that men find acceptable as 'no chase'; for me, most notably, I don't flirt with or interact in anything less than completely with the girlfriends of my male friends; they're off limits. I refuse to even see them as attractive in anything but the most platonic of senses, even.

Same here and I believe this is how it should be.

If they become single again, then that immediately ceases to be a consideration. I also don't particularly limit myself from the girlfriends of other men, so as long as they're not friends of mine.

And there is really almost no doubt in my mind that attraction does have a component for me even in some platonic friendships, but really, how is that not true of all things? Every aspect impacts a friendship somehow. I am obviously sweeter and nicer toward attractive, younger girls; less personal and intimate toward women I'm not attracted to; more professional and calm toward older women; and my behavior toward men are an entirely different set as well.

I don't see it as hypocritical: just the natural human condition, where every aspect of our perception then colors and affects our actions.

I personally dont act different to different people. I act like myself no matter what age, *** or whatever the other person is. I have no need to be extra sweet or extra calm or anything when it comes to different people because the best thing to do is just to be yourself.

 

[IgnoredOne]

I personally dont act different to different people. I act like myself no matter what age, *** or whatever the other person is. I have no need to be extra sweet or extra calm or anything when it comes to different people because the best thing to do is just to be yourself.

But that is essentially it - what "I am" differs depending on the person. Different stimuli, different response.

 

[SofiasMami]

I personally dont act different to different people. I act like myself no matter what age, *** or whatever the other person is. I have no need to be extra sweet or extra calm or anything when it comes to different people because the best thing to do is just to be yourself.

But that is essentially it - what "I am" differs depending on the person. Different stimuli, different response.

A little off topic, but I have to agree with Ignored One here. It's normal to act different in different situations with different people. The way I behave with a 6 month old infant is different than the way I talk with my boss. I would venture a guess that this is true with other people as well.

Teresa