Hiding Behind a Diagnosis

[ladyforsaken]

I've seen so many posts on this forum of people mentioning how they get diagnosed with all the disorders and issues (in terms of mental health and personality) and then they talk about all the things they can't do in life or feel like they'd never achieve in life.

I wonder though, do people tend to feel like they can't do it once they get diagnosed thinking "oh damn I have a problem, it means life is limited for me, I can't do it"? In a way, it's like they're hiding behind their diagnosis and using it to determine their fate in life.. which can probably contribute to it but I always believe people can break out of it and take control.

What if, they didn't know there was some official diagnosis of their problems, and they don't think that there is anything "wrong" with them, would it actually help them to have a more positive thinking and be more hopeful at least?

I don't mean to offend anyone here, I'm just wondering really. I was at a really low point in life once and I was heavily messed up.. if I can break out of it.. I don't see why other people can't, and let their lives just stay in that same pool of negativity. It just saddens me sometimes. :\

 

[user 115627]

While society usually tells the fairytale that one can achieve everything if he or she only tries hard enough, it's just as quick to mark individuals as unfitting or unproductive if they don't achieve predefined goals or just don't 'function' as anyone else does. Assuming we're only talking about mental disorders, I can see why some people walk through their life carrying this brand mark wherever they go. Ultimately limiting their whole life experience because they think they're not fast enough, not good enough, not normal enough. After all, why would a professional tell me I'm 'out of balance' or 'uncapable' if this is not the case? And who am I to question his superior judgment? Better settle down with it as quick as possible...

I'm not telling anyone to distrust all professionals, but at least not to resign too quickly. It might be that know yourself better than any doctor ever could.

 

[Solivagant]

I think it really depends on how it's used. For me a diagnosis is more like an "Aha" moment. When I read about it and see myself all over it, it's like "Yes, that explains it!" It provides me with a way to put things I already felt and experienced to better words, and helps me pinpoint certain issues I have so that I can stay aware of them when they come up and tackle them better.

I guess I can't speak for everyone, but I certainly have never needed a diagnosis to know that something is wrong. It's kind of a "rose by any other name" sort of thing. For example, I only learned that I had Asperger's a couple years ago, but I had already long since realized that something was "off" with me, different from other people in the way I thought and interacted. At first I didn't believe I had Asperger's when it was suggested to me; I wasn't seeking a diagnosis, just solutions to my problems. But once I started reading about it and understanding it, I was like "Yes, that is so me," and it explained a lot about why I've had some of the problems I've had.

Likewise, before I knew I had PTSD, I obviously knew something was not right. Learning that what I was experiencing had a name was in many ways a relief, because it became easier to express what I was going through, and I finally knew that I wasn't the only one, I wasn't completely crazy, there were other people out there experiencing the same thing. I have found diagnoses to be mostly helpful to me, and also to others who wish to understand me better.

There are indeed many people who misuse them as an excuse not to do things they should be doing, however. In fact I've even known people who deliberately try to get a diagnosis just so they can use it as an excuse. And on the other side of the coin, I personally think that mental health workers have become a bit "diagnosis-happy" and have been overdiagnosing in recent years. Sometimes it's as if there's a perceived ideal/"norm" of what a person "should" be (a norm that no person meets in every way), and any (even slight) deviation from that ideal gets slapped with a label, often as a disorder or dysfunction. Many people easily buy into this, either because they feel it gives them a good rationalization for their perceived failures, or it makes them feel special, or they desire sympathy, or myriad other reasons. But some people are genuinely hindered in major ways by their disorders, and have to learn to work around them, which can be an ongoing battle instead of one that is won and then done with (as we prefer to view challenges). Additionally, some, like Autism, impact the way the brain is wired from an early age and are far less changeable than others, like Depression (though Depression affects brain chemistry as well, to varying degrees in each individual). Some are as ingrained as something like sexual orientation. It's just a part of you, and will always be.


On another note, I also have personally observed that people who have loving family or friends, or who are just generally liked by the people around them, have an easier time overcoming the effects of disorders and other obstacles than someone who is generally disliked or dismissed. The way one is reacted to, even if it is by people online, the cashier at the store, or strangers, makes a huge difference to hope and recovery. Many therapists will say that a supportive social network of some kind is the #1 aid (or even a necessity) in healing and dealing, and by experience and observation, I must agree.

 

[ladyforsaken]

You make really good points Rodent and Solivagant.

I'm not telling anyone to distrust all professionals, but at least not to resign too quickly. It might be that know yourself better than any doctor ever could.

This is my sentiments exactly. I was told not too long ago to be put on anti-depressant meds and anxiety meds because the doctor thought to diagnose me as such. I refused and I said to him, I don't want the meds, I'm gonna find other ways to overcome this. He offered it several times and even suggested I should go see a psychiatrist. I still refused.. I mean, I knew myself, I wasn't at that extent but it was just so easy for him to push me towards those meds etc. Which is what I wondered too and what you said, Solivagant:

And on the other side of the coin, I personally think that mental health workers have become a bit "diagnosis-happy" and have been overdiagnosing in recent years. Sometimes it's as if there's a perceived ideal/"norm" of what a person "should" be (a norm that no person meets in every way), and any (even slight) deviation from that ideal gets slapped with a label, often as a disorder or dysfunction.

I think it really depends on how it's used. For me a diagnosis is more like an "Aha" moment. When I read about it and see myself all over it, it's like "Yes, that explains it!" It provides me with a way to put things I already felt and experienced to better words, and helps me pinpoint certain issues I have so that I can stay aware of them when they come up and tackle them better.

I guess I can't speak for everyone, but I certainly have never needed a diagnosis to know that something is wrong. It's kind of a "rose by any other name" sort of thing. For example, I only learned that I had Asperger's a couple years ago, but I had already long since realized that something was "off" with me, different from other people in the way I thought and interacted. At first I didn't believe I had Asperger's when it was suggested to me; I wasn't seeking a diagnosis, just solutions to my problems. But once I started reading about it and understanding it, I was like "Yes, that is so me," and it explained a lot about why I've had some of the problems I've had.

Likewise, before I knew I had PTSD, I obviously knew something was not right. Learning that what I was experiencing had a name was in many ways a relief, because it became easier to express what I was going through, and I finally knew that I wasn't the only one, I wasn't completely crazy, there were other people out there experiencing the same thing. I have found diagnoses to be mostly helpful to me, and also to others who wish to understand me better.

I totally get this, yes. It gives you a direction to look for solutions or maybe not even that first, to understand why you're feeling what you're feeling or why you think of such thoughts you do. And once you can identify, it gives you some sort of "closure" to the unknown of "what's wrong with me?". Then it's also easier to find ways and solutions how to deal with people and things around you. Might even help you get better with these issues.

On another note, I also have personally observed that people who have loving family or friends, or who are just generally liked by the people around them, have an easier time overcoming the effects of disorders and other obstacles than someone who is generally disliked or dismissed. The way one is reacted to, even if it is by people online, the cashier at the store, or strangers, makes a huge difference to hope and recovery. Many therapists will say that a supportive social network of some kind is the #1 aid (or even a necessity) in healing and dealing, and by experience and observation, I must agree.

Indeed. Can't agree more.

 

[PieBeNice]

I don't mean to offend anyone here, I'm just wondering really. I was at a really low point in life once and I was heavily messed up.. if I can break out of it.. I don't see why other people can't, and let their lives just stay in that same pool of negativity. It just saddens me sometimes. :\

Yeah I know right, you can just magically think your way out of these things, it's that simple. It's not as if a diagnosis means theres a serious problem that needs proffesional help or something.

While we're at it, let's go and tell people with other illnesses like cancer and stuff that they can just get better by not being negative. Your ideas are brilliant.

 

[Ymir]

Nah, **** that. I know you mean well, and I'm not angry at you, but I'm definitely sick (haha) of this kind of attitude that I encounter from people who do not mean as well as you. Regardless of having a diagnosis or not, if you are sick, you are sick. I'm not diagnosed. But I still have a foot long list of things I can't eat, I still have almost crippling levels of fatigue, my hair is falling out, I'm bloated 90% of the time, I can't eat at restaurants and can't eat like a normal person either, if I want to be functional.

I also have a foot long list of things I can't do. I can't travel for long, I can't travel to far away where there won't be food I'm used to available, I can't do physical activity, I can't this, I can't that, I can't. Some people hide behind their diagnosis, but, like I said, sick is sick. If we can't do stuff, we can't do stuff, period. Happy thoughts aren't going to make things easier. Not knowing what's wrong isn't going to make things better.

Mind over matter only goes so far, ladyf.

 

[PieBeNice]

Nah, **** that. I know you mean well, and I'm not angry at you, but I'm definitely sick (haha) of this kind of attitude that I encounter from people who do not mean as well as you. Regardless of having a diagnosis or not, if you are sick, you are sick. I'm not diagnosed. But I still have a foot long list of things I can't eat, I still have almost crippling levels of fatigue, my hair is falling out, I'm bloated 90% of the time, I can't eat at restaurants and can't eat like a normal person either, if I want to be functional.

I also have a foot long list of things I can't do. I can't travel for long, I can't travel to far away where there won't be food I'm used to available, I can't do physical activity, I can't this, I can't that, I can't. Some people hide behind their diagnosis, but, like I said, sick is sick. If we can't do stuff, we can't do stuff, period. Happy thoughts aren't going to make things easier. Not knowing what's wrong isn't going to make things better.

Mind over matter only goes so far, ladyf.

Lol no, apparently you just have to break out of it and take control.

 

[ladyforsaken]

Actually, I didn't mean physical limitations or health related issues that you have no control over. I meant things like depression or anxiety, things that you can have control over I believe, over time and effort of working on it. Some people may take longer than others or it may not ever go away depending on the severity of the issues.

PieBeNice, I have cancer. It doesn't go away even when I was trying my best to be positive. I'm still being monitored. I think I'm really one of the more positive people in my home and the others pretty much all do so greatly but not me. Does it help though by being negative? What if tomorrow is my last day - wouldn't my time then be wasted dwelling and being negative? I'm not saying there is no room for negativity. There was a point of time this illness took over my mind and all I could think about was if I was gonna make it. My family is not as supportive as you would think they would be.

Anyway, I didn't mean diagnosis in terms of health issues. I meant the others that deal with the mind and personality, I'm pretty sure there's a better term for these but it escapes me now.

And in no way am I saying that there should be no negativity at all. In life you gotta have a balance, there's bound to be the negative and there's bound to be the positive. I just feel that there are ways to balance the negativity with other things so that it doesn't feel so heavy on the scales. It's just my opinion, I'm not saying everyone has to be like this or agree with me - I was merely just wondering and pondering about these things and wondering what others think.

Add: Also, no PieBeNice, you don't just break out of it. It takes a lot of effort and work to do so. You don't know my history, you don't know what I went through to get to where I am now. Maybe I wasn't clear or I didn't bring my point across well enough but anyone on this forum would know me better than to just say that it's as easy as breaking out of it as if you are just tearing a piece of cling film apart. I know struggles, I know hardship, I know pain and I know negativity too. I'm not even forcing this down anyone's throats.

 

[PieBeNice]

I meant things like depression or anxiety, things that you can have control over I believe, over time and effort of working on it.

Lol no.

 

[ladyforsaken]

I meant things like depression or anxiety, things that you can have control over I believe, over time and effort of working on it.

Lol no.

You're saying it's impossible to ever get better? Then I must be living a lie.

 

[Minus]

Yeah I know right, you can just magically think your way out of these things, it's that simple.

I didn't take her to be saying that at all.

 

[PieBeNice]

Yeah I know right, you can just magically think your way out of these things, it's that simple.

I didn't take her to be saying that at all.

Interesting. Tell me more.

 

[ladyforsaken]

Interesting. Tell me more.

Why not you explain and allow me to understand why you think or know or feel someone who might have depression or anxiety cannot get better in their lives?

 

[PieBeNice]

Interesting. Tell me more.

Why not you explain and allow me to understand why you think or know or feel someone who might have depression or anxiety cannot get better in their lives?

Explain where I said that please.

 

[ladyforsaken]

I meant things like depression or anxiety, things that you can have control over I believe, over time and effort of working on it.

Lol no.

You're saying it's impossible to ever get better? Then I must be living a lie.

 

[TheRealCallie]

Now, I don't always translate Pie accurately, but I believe he was saying that you didn't really mean things like depression or anxiety, you just said that after people had a problem with what you wrong. Or, in other words, you're changing your story to look better.

 

[ladyforsaken]

Hmm okay. If that's what he means then, all right, I apologise for making assumptions.

Well I didn't change my story to look better though. I did mean diagnosis in terms of mind and personality in my original post, because of my recent encounter with the doctors and it just made me wonder where I would've ended up if I had believe the doc to know more than I do of myself. I guess I wasn't specific enough. I did agree with what Rodent and Solivagant were talking about .. it was along those lines.

 

[PieBeNice]

So the bit you said I said that you can't get better is you saying I said people can't get better...

I shall ask again, where did I say this thing.

 

[ladyforsaken]

Sigh, nevermind it PieBeNice. Forget it. I take it back.

 

[PieBeNice]

Take what back?