Hold me

[CenotaphGirl]

I have always been that girl desperate for a cuddle from pretty much anyone who would be kind enough,
I used to wear a top that said "free hugs", because the idea of being embraced is something I always long for.
It's so cold, I am so alone, I just want to feel a human connection that has nothing to do with sex, just care.
I just want someone to care. I am so broken, I am so damaged, sitting here typing this, crying because, I dont know how to cope.
I dont know how to be happy, how to feel safe, how to love, how to be someone worth anything...
Please help me, help me work out why I am on this planet, why my grave is still empty... why I am constantly falling apart
My best friend hates me, if she walks out of my life, I just dont know... how I can cope with that.
How can I cope being completely alone? Why am I always abandoned, I still feel like a little girl crying out for parents, crying out for family.
I still feel like that young woman, bleeding on the pavement, crying out for help. I still feel like that young woman on her knees watching her father getting lowered into the ground...
crying out for him... why am I so alone?

 

[user 188522]

So sincerely sorry you are feeling this pain. Everyone on this site adores you.

 

[user 189843]

I genuinely feel like I wrote what you just said word for word, the only difference being I'm a guy. I wish I could at least give you a hug, honestly I know I need one as well. Like I've told you, I'm happy to listen to you so message me any time. I'm sure there's no chance of me being that person you seek, but we can at least try building a friendship. I too crave that love like you do, it may sound silly or pathetic but it's all I even want out of life, but I think if I could even find just a loving friendship that it could make a difference. Read that poem I sent you, the positive one, maybe I could apply those words to you and if nothing else be there as a friend.

I know you feel alone, believe me I do too I break down on a daily basis because of it and cry myself to sleep, but just know you aren't alone in your feelings.

 

[NoxApex(N/A)]

There is actually a community for non-sexual physical intimacy.
I know of it, just not what it's called or where to find it.
It's been several years since I heard about it, but I do know that it exists somewhere.

 

[Unsigned]

There is actually a community for non-sexual physical intimacy.
I know of it, just not what it's called or where to find it.
It's been several years since I heard about it, but I do know that it exists somewhere.

Believe it or not there are also "professional cuddlers".

 

[NoxApex(N/A)]

Believe it or not there are also "professional cuddlers".

I'm not surprised.
Welcome to America, if it exists there's a market for it.

 

[Finished]

Believe it or not there are also "professional cuddlers".

I came very close to going to a couple Cuddle Parties. But, I read about them and, like everything else, it's usually not as it appears. Often times it's guys looking for guys for more then hugs. But, the trick is to find a group that works for you. I also realized that I don't actually like people. So although I would like to be hugged and have human contact, I don't want to be around people. Ha! ha!

 

[Unsigned]

it's guys looking for guys

Cripes!!! Shudder....

 

[CenotaphGirl]

Sorry had something drafted and never sent it because Idk

Thank you, honestly I know I am sick at the moment so please just ignore me… thanks for the pms you are all so kind

 

[ardour]

There is actually a community for non-sexual physical intimacy.
I know of it, just not what it's called or where to find it.
It's been several years since I heard about it, but I do know that it exists somewhere.

Japan. Where else. (Sorry OP.)

 

[jmax.flores]

View attachment 6704


I have always been that girl desperate for a cuddle from pretty much anyone who would be kind enough,
I used to wear a top that said "free hugs", because the idea of being embraced is something I always long for.
It's so cold, I am so alone, I just want to feel a human connection that has nothing to do with sex, just care.
I just want someone to care. I am so broken, I am so damaged, sitting here typing this, crying because, I dont know how to cope.
I dont know how to be happy, how to feel safe, how to love, how to be someone worth anything...
Please help me, help me work out why I am on this planet, why my grave is still empty... why I am constantly falling apart
My best friend hates me, if she walks out of my life, I just dont know... how I can cope with that.
How can I cope being completely alone? Why am I always abandoned, I still feel like a little girl crying out for parents, crying out for family.
I still feel like that young woman, bleeding on the pavement, crying out for help. I still feel like that young woman on her knees watching her father getting lowered into the ground...
crying out for him... why am I so alone?

Hello,

I hope it's not too late to reach you. I'm not exactly sure where to start, but in my attempt, I hope I'm able to offer some aid, an ear, and some solid advice, okay?

There are a lot of things this world won't teach us, like knowing how to cope, how to love, and how to be happy. I've wondered a lot over some of your similar concerns, but after some time, I think the right answer here is that there is none. This isn't a bad thing either, on the contrary, it's a wonderful thing. You love differently than I would, we're happy in different ways, and yes, you and I cope differently too, and that's okay. Everyone's experiences are unique. Respect yourself by giving yourself the time to learn all these great things at your own unique and valid pace.

I can't tell you why you're on this planet, nor do I think anyone else should. However, personally? I've found this to be liberating in a way--that no one else should have a say over why I'm here. You can decide that, like how I've decided to comment here on these forums and help others in some small way, or like how I've decided to enroll in college after having graduated high school 6 years ago.

You're never completely alone and I'd like to think that these minor words of mine here are proof enough of that. Feelings are tricky and troublesome things that we can't simply separate ourselves from. They come so suddenly and seem so true BECAUSE they're ours, but sometimes we're wrong. I may not know you, and I don't exactly know what you're going through, but I want you to believe that there is something very valuable inside of you. Valuable enough for a complete stranger like me to extend their hand and say, 'it's okay champ, get up--you got this, it's going to be okay.'

Happiness isn't something we should chase, it's a byproduct of time spent doing the things we like, or being with people we cherish, or visiting places we find interesting. We often forget that by anticipating a certain kind of happiness, we fail to see the happiness that's already worth exploring all around us.

I sincerely hope this finds you well,
Max

 

[abbynormal]

i'm sorry OP that you are sad and feeling bereft. i grok your situation. i had to learn how to hug myself and be my own best friend and companion.

 

[Adamridge79]

Well. ****. Reading all of that..whatever that was supposed to mean. As ruined and broken as I am. ****, I never thought I was ******* normal. That is just...me, and my psychotic break, forced hospitalization, and forced commitment...and I never even caught a glimpse of that. Talk about a bullet dodged. I just hope I'm not a Dateline mention for the next soon to be serial killer. All the specs are there. Just. ****

 

[Hope88]

My best friend hates me, if she walks out of my life, I just dont know... how I can cope with that.
How can I cope being completely alone? Why am I always abandoned, I still feel like a little girl crying out for parents, crying out for family.
I still feel like that young woman, bleeding on the pavement, crying out for help. I still feel like that young woman on her knees watching her father getting lowered into the ground...
crying out for him... why am I so alone?

Sorry had something drafted and never sent it because Idk

Thank you, honestly I know I am sick at the moment so please just ignore me… thanks for the pms you are all so kind

I don’t know you well but you seem to be a very nice person that deserves friends who will always be there for you.
It takes courage to be vulnerable and I wish you peace of mind, you’ll get through this.

 

[CenotaphGirl]

You are all so beautiful, well maybe not my stalker but the rest of you are all so gorgeous thanks for helping me… I dont deserve this

 

[okidoke]

........ I dont deserve this

I often tell people not to compare themselves to others, but this might be a situation where you should. What I mean is, have a look at so many other people who have the things that you don't and ask yourself if THEY deserve it. Why DO they deserve it? Then, when you have a real close look, you'll see that really they're often not any more or less worthy than yourself, so don't say you DON'T deserve it. Unless you're some horrible, psychopathic, sadistic b**** who has caused people awful harm or distress, why shouldn't you deserve the good that life offers you? Just take it and be grateful.

 

[CenotaphGirl]

I often tell people not to compare themselves to others, but this might be a situation where you should. What I mean is, have a look at so many other people who have the things that you don't and ask yourself if THEY deserve it. Why DO they deserve it? Then, when you have a real close look, you'll see that really they're often not any more or less worthy than yourself, so don't say you DON'T deserve it. Unless you're some horrible, psychopathic, sadistic b**** who has caused people awful harm or distress, why shouldn't you deserve the good that life offers you? Just take it and be grateful.

I'm always trying to be a good person, I'm often not but being a good person means a lot to me, I guess because I fail in that area of being good more than most, I find it hard to process people being good to me. But I like your perspective I will try not to question