How can serial killers get girlfriends but "nice guys" can't?

[TyCobbLegend]

It blows my mind. When Ted Bundy was on death row received around 200 letters a day from girls professing their love to him. Newsflash, he killed over 30 women in a 4 year time period! The same goes for Gary Ridgway. He killed even more women and still found a way to get married 3 different times!

Those are just the most notorious American serial killers. I am sure there are plenty of other killers around the world who had the "charm" to attract women. And then there are nice guys like me who are a bit shy at times, but would never hurt a woman at all if she would just gave me a chance!

Note, this a thread of me trying to bash and criticize women. If anything, it is more of a thread of me being jealous that convicted murderers apparently have something I don't have that attracts women.

 

[Revengineer]

Well, every guy knows that women are attracted to confidence. And you have to be pretty damn confident to murder a bunch of people like that.

Honestly, I think it's the fame, combined with their portrayal as mysterious and unpredictable entities by the media. Also they are probably very good at hiding their true selves from the people around them, which is how they are able to avoid getting caught for long periods of time.

 

[murmi97]

I'll bet a whole lot of the women thought they were innocent. That's what serial killers claim anyway.

 

[VanillaCreme]

Actually, quite a few serial killers admit to doing their crimes. With little to no emotion for some of them, but they admit it nonetheless.

 

[Ignis]

Whose to say that these serial killers weren't ruling their girlfriends through fear?
It's quite possible... Actually, it's quite probable.

Either way, it comes down to confidence, attitude and a dash of Chloroform.

 

[Among the Sleep]

No woman would be attracted to a serial killer if he wasn't famous (well, unless it was an equally sick woman.) The way the media covers **** like that kind of lends itself to glorification, and there will always be sick, lonely ******' weirdos who are just drawn to anyone that's on TV.

I'm not a Marilyn Manson fan (well, a couple songs) but his name is a combination of Marilyn Monroe and Charles Manson. The point being that whether you're a beautiful woman like Marilyn, or a twisted **** like Manson, you get put on a similar pedestal and receive similar adoration just from the sheer fact that you're a part of the 24 hour "news" cycle.

I think you're really just trying to bum yourself out by looking at it in those terms...

 

[Locke]

Plenty of horrible people get girls, not just killers. A politician in my area was recently caught taking bribes and cheating on his wife with a girl half his age.

Bad people often find ways to make themselves happy, but if you have even a shred of morals, you still have way more than they ever will. So for me personally, I'd rather be with a girl who prefers morals and decency, as opposed to a girl who's attracted to violence and death.

 

[Naleena]

Those wome who go for such people are sick in the head. Anyone who would want someone because of being infamous killer, needs their head examined. Would you want a woman like that? There are women who happen to think highly of nice guys, I'm one of them.

 

[VanillaCreme]

No woman would be attracted to a serial killer if he wasn't famous (well, unless it was an equally sick woman.) The way the media covers **** like that kind of lends itself to glorification, and there will always be sick, lonely ******' weirdos who are just drawn to anyone that's on TV.

I'm not a Marilyn Manson fan (well, a couple songs) but his name is a combination of Marilyn Monroe and Charles Manson. The point being that whether you're a beautiful woman like Marilyn, or a twisted **** like Manson, you get put on a similar pedestal and receive similar adoration just from the sheer fact that you're a part of the 24 hour "news" cycle.

I think you're really just trying to bum yourself out by looking at it in those terms...

But, ah-ha! Manson was not a serial killer. He never actually - from what we know - killed anyone by his own hands.

Also, some of these killers lead perfectly normal lives. One comes to mind, popular serial killer (Green River killer, but don't take my word on it), his wife knew NOTHING of what he was doing. Absolutely nothing. She just figured he was out working while he was doing his horrific deeds. He'd come in a normal times, perfectly clean, nothing wrong. So not every woman these guys are with know 100% what the hell is going on right under their noses. Many of them lead normal lives outside of their horrendous actions.

 

[LeaningIntoTheMuse]

Many of these serial killers have confidence in what they do. That's attractive.

But that's not to say that the women who are attracted to serial killers are, by any stretch of the imagination, healthy. They have more issues than a magazine subscription.

 

[theraab]

I'm not exactly sure what the term "nice guy" really means - there are so many different ways that it's used, I honestly don't know how to take it.

But, if it means something like, "does everything a woman asks of them, and showers them with praise and gifts and whatever", then the answer is that there is nothing sexy about a guy who licks a woman's boots; and if this is what you think it means to be a nice guy, then you really need to rethink your approach to dating because (like the question implies), women would sooner date a serial killer than you.

I think, though, that there are a lot of guys who think of themselves as "nice guys", who really aren't - and I'm willing to bet many serial killers would call themselves "nice guys". The problem is too many guys wear the nice guy mask, and underneath are nothing like how they act (often, without even realizing they aren't nice guys). I've known several guys IRL who say they are nice guys, and then, when they are in a relationship, are emotionally abusive to their woman - they genuinely believe that they are nice to their woman, but they act that way because, they "love her so much" or they "don't want to lose her". Frankly, I've seen some members on this forum (I don't mean anyone posting in this thread) who considered themselves "nice" but were pretty clearly passive-aggressive ******** who would (I'm willing to bet) be emotionally abusive (or more) to any partner they were with. It's clear to me why women don't want to be with them.

If nice means something like, "Doesn't treat their woman like ****, but doesn't fawn over her incessantly like a little puppy", then the question doesn't really apply, because this kind of "nice guy" does get girls.

I'll stop rambling now.

 

[LeaningIntoTheMuse]

Have you ever heard the song by Blondie called "Good Boys?" The chorus goes, "Good boys never win, they always follow..."

It's kind of true. That is not necessarily to mean that good men generally don't get dates, but the ones who don't have the biggest social or physical feathers generally have to come in second to other guys.

Yes, every guy knows this. This is why I hate those types of men, because they are so confident that I will never get a girl. But it's always been this way, and will always be this way.

 

[VanillaCreme]

What about a dude who's not a bad or nice guy?

 

[LeaningIntoTheMuse]

Depends on what you mean by bad, or nice?

Is a bad boy someone who has an edge but has good qualities, or someone who is just a terrible person?
Is a nice guy someone who is nice but assertive and treats people with respect, or someone who lets people walk all over him and expects people to treat him a certain way because he is nice?

 

[theraab]

What about a dude who's not a bad or nice guy?

Don't worry, we do just fine.

BTW, do you have a special insight into this conversation? I mean, I read a couple days ago that you were a sociopath, to the point where even Eve chimed in about how good you were at fooling people.

 

[LeaningIntoTheMuse]

^ Oh my god, I just laughed so hard coffee almost came out my nose!

No, Vanilla isn't a sociopath. I do agree with her, though, if she is trying to say that people are attracted to values, not labels.

 

[duff]

Those wome who go for such people are sick in the head. Anyone who would want someone because of being infamous killer, needs their head examined. Would you want a woman like that? There are women who happen to think highly of nice guys, I'm one of them.

good answer !

There are loads of completely crazy women out there who are not worth knowing !

The Yorkshire ripper from the 70's gets love letters sent to him. I think the women who send these letters need help to be honest !

 

[*Sammy*]

I find this question amusing along the lines of 'Why wont men go out with me because i'm over weight and not a skinny bint'.

A lot of people out there (not on this forum) both women and men look for the trophy what looks good on their arm for the world to see not what would best suit them on an emotional level. Me personally i like nice guys over bad boys, maybe its because i have had my fair share of bad boys in the past that hurt me. If my husband decides to leave me after a very long healing process i would go out of my way to find a 'nice guy'. Point i am trying to make as hopeless as it seems don't give up i am sure there is someone out there who will like/love you for who you are, you just have to 'kiss some frogs' before you find your 'princess'... its the big hurdle for a nice/shy person to get over but you have to try and put yourself out there.

 

[msbxa]

I agree that the term "nice" guys or "good" guy is really rather vague. Perhaps the typical stereotype of a "nice" guy isn't really a nice guy after all.
I don't know. It seems to me that sometimes guys use the term "nice" guy to get sympathy or something.

But anyways, the fact that serial killers get hundreds of love letters ect. I don't really understand. It don't make sense to like someone like that. It is insanity and self destructive.
There was also that satanic night stalker guy who had lots of women attention at the courts.
Like ok if you want to like someone that is satanic and dark and "confident" or whatever fine, but these people have killed, tortured, among other things! So are you ******* stupid? They will kill you too!

You know, I've thought before something: Serial killers are typically highly intelligent people... So maybe a lot of them don't actually kill so random as we would think. They actually pick their targets. - Which is indeed found true with a lot of them. There have also been some cases where they will let people go, for whatever reason. So if its a given that a person is a serial killer, yet they have a woman throw themselves at them, what do you think they are going to do???

Anyways in conclusion, perhaps a large reason some of these people will kill, is because there are these types of stupid women/people out there.
I think I can maybe sort of understand their motives, and I think maybe because I'm somewhat misanthropic, but I would never actually go to that extreme myself of harming someone.

 

[Felix]

There was a famous killer who killed his whole family (her wife and daughters). He had a woman waiting for him to be released out of prision... they got married and they're liveing together here, in my neighbourhood :O

This people are charismatic and seductive. Still, is not enough for me to understand how anyone could even be interested in this persons. Maybe they want to change them, or help them in some kind of way? It turns them on? They're that desperate???

There should be a documentary about this... Loius Theroux, if you're reading this, you're the right guy to go meet serial killer's wives.