How come internet exists and its so difficult to find people with depression to talk ? (Just rant)

[ManDss]

Im just gonna rant, hope dont piss some people, Ill hate to reciece some bitter comments of what Im gonna wrote next.

What I mean, is... this forum, is pretty inactive.

Ive been checking the networking area and still have the same messages as dont remember how long. I put messages there, I recieve just a very few.

And I always think: "internet, we can make a site for people who have depression and want to meet other people to talk", sounds so right to me, but Ive joined to many depression forums (a lot) and people just are not looking to talk and meet others.

Many years ago, before I even had internet, I used to think that should be other persons like me, people with depression, who want to meet people, just to be friends, and talk, and I thought I could find them through internet. And some years ago I started looking for sites to meet that kind of people, but seems its imposible.

Im such a cherry picker when its about people, so I take my part. But I also think should expect to find people who I also like not just "well, this is what we have, take it or dont complain".

My native language is spanish, so Ive also check spanish sites, and are even worse, so messy, just give you headaches to read through.

I always imagined a simple site: "chat with people with depression", and then a list with a bunch of people's names, and a description of what them, their story, and what kind of people would like to meet, and thats it !

But, in this kind of forums there are so many sub-forums, I feel like a detective "hmm, the kind of people I want to meet, what forum would use more ? Is this the kind of tittle a person I like would use ? Lets see..., Im gonna read the profile and see if the kind of people I like...".

Anyway, just a rant.

 

[TheRealCallie]

The two least trafficked sections of this forum are Networking and Express Yourself. So yeah, your Networking threads aren't going to get a lot of replies. Aside from those two sections, most get traffic. Just go with where it belongs. If it's about depression, put it in the Depression section. If it's about sports (I know you have a few of those), put them in General or Miscellaneous (though, threads seem to get buried fast in that section lately) If it's about social issues, put them in that section. Or just put them wherever you want. Most people aren't going to say anything if something gets put in the "wrong" section.


Aside from that, you're right. This forum isn't very active, but forums are a dying platform. Being replaced by TikTok and Twitter and whatever.

 

[Finished]

It is kind of funny that there are lonely people on this site yet very few seem to talk or communicate with others other then posts. I've seen many posts for people asking for others to chat or exchange private messages with them. But, they seem to come and go.

I think some people are tired of putting in effort to get to know someone and then get ghosted. Or, they get to know someone and they find out they don't mix well with them for whatever reason. In general, IMO, people are tired of being hurt. It's MUCH easier and less stressful to stay isolated.

Personally I don't like to speak to anybody unless it's in person. Even then I'm so used to being alone I really don't want to speak to them anyway. It usually gives me a headache if it lasts more then a minute or so. But, I do enjoy sending private messages and slowly getting to know someone sometimes.

HOWEVER, I think some / many people are welcoming to friendly private messages IF someone else initiates the conversation AFTER they post quite a bit so one can get a sense of the personality of the other person. It sucks to start to get to know someone and then start receiving mean private messages from them. But, everything is a risk.

 

[Puppykat56]

It is kind of funny that there are lonely people on this site yet very few seem to talk or communicate with others other then posts. I've seen many posts for people asking for others to chat or exchange private messages with them. But, they seem to come and go.

I think some people are tired of putting in effort to get to know someone and then get ghosted. Or, they get to know someone and they find out they don't mix well with them for whatever reason. In general, IMO, people are tired of being hurt. It's MUCH easier and less stressful to stay isolated.

Personally I don't like to speak to anybody unless it's in person. Even then I'm so used to being alone I really don't want to speak to them anyway. It usually gives me a headache if it lasts more then a minute or so. But, I do enjoy sending private messages and slowly getting to know someone sometimes.

HOWEVER, I think some / many people are welcoming to friendly private messages IF someone else initiates the conversation AFTER they post quite a bit so one can get a sense of the personality of the other person. It sucks to start to get to know someone and then start receiving mean private messages from them. But, everything is a risk.

I agree! My issue with social media is that it makes me feel vulnerable, and being that I’ve spent my entire life feeling vulnerable, emotions blazing, heart on my sleeve, I just can’t be online all the time. I was also on another forum years ago where there were many bullies. Plus, it cannot be assumed that everyone here in this forum is REALLY lonely, either. Scammers are everywhere online. Trust is not easily given. I’ve looked for chat rooms in the past for some quick conversations but those too have died out, unless you want to “get busy” on your video cam, and let me just say EWWWWWWW to that up front. It’s all Twitter and Instagram and I have no interest in that. Do I?

 

[Claudia1794]

Well let it be known that I am willing to talk to anyone. On the threads that I have posted, I try to be as open and revealing as possible without going on too long. I figure if someone runs up on enough of what I've said hopefully they can get an idea about me. Ive mentioned this several times but what the hell...alone for over 10 years by choice, cut off from people with the exception of family and the 3 ladies I work with, no cell phone, never done this until I found this forum. I was encouraged to try and communicate with people again. This is my first step. I am not depressed, and I'm not lonely but I have had experiences that I imagine some of you can relate to and maybe not.

 

[Finished]

I agree! My issue with social media is that it makes me feel vulnerable, and being that I’ve spent my entire life feeling vulnerable, emotions blazing, heart on my sleeve, I just can’t be online all the time. I was also on another forum years ago where there were many bullies. Plus, it cannot be assumed that everyone here in this forum is REALLY lonely, either. Scammers are everywhere online. Trust is not easily given. I’ve looked for chat rooms in the past for some quick conversations but those too have died out, unless you want to “get busy” on your video cam, and let me just say EWWWWWWW to that up front. It’s all Twitter and Instagram and I have no interest in that. Do I?

You can TRUST me. Will you give me some money please? I'm a rich military commander stuck in another country. But, I need someone to wire me a large sum of money until I can get back to the states and pay them back with interest. Just kidding. Ha! ha!

Don't ever send someone money that you haven't met period.

 

[charlotte craig]

Not just tired of being hurt but by being lied to or having their time wasted. Don't come to such forums if all you want to do is go on and on about how sad you are and seeking sympathy. You pay a therapist for that. I've been to such forums and had someone send me a long missive about how miserable they are moaning about it, and assuming I must read the whole thing and write back - why assume this? And why assume the other person wants to hear all of your problems and grievances, that is not friendship. Come here to get to know others on an equal footing and get to know them too. Not just them listening to all your stuff or giving you free suggestions and advice and sympathy. And don't bother if you don't want to chat. If someone puts a long post and you just put a smiley face or say yes or no or a few words they lose interest.

As for the site you forget a great deal. Forum sites are free, so long as they put advertisements on it to pay the costs. But the person who owns the site has to put a lot of time into it - why would they bother when they get no money in return for all that time? If they want the forum to be put into google in such a way more people see it and it grows and flourishes that costs a whole heap of money, which would have to come out of their own pocket. Advertising on there would not cover it so they lose their own money on that for your benefit, not theirs. The site is asking for donations but how many of you have given one? Some of you are unemployed with masses of spare time, why dont you put up your own forum and learn how to do all this and do it for others? The thing is that everyone wants the effort to come from others, but they want the benefits.