TheRealCallie said:
Somnambulist said:
I'm saying I don't like the way it is, but that the forum mirrors the real world (a point I have brought up numerous times). That's why I don't think anything needs to be changed. Besides, even if I wanted things to change, my voice is too weak to be heard and/or make a difference. Someone more popular would be required, to bring about change.
Am I allowed to complain ? Am I also allowed to say that nothing needs to be done ? If I were lying, and I'm not in this case, would that be ok ?
Yes. Yes. Yes.
Thank you. Your response just reinforced the knowledge of everything I already know to be true.
I fail to see how any place on the internet is any different than real life. We are all real people who have lives, so why wouldn't it mirror it?
I never said you weren't allowed to complain, but I still don't see where these supposed cliques are. There are FRIENDS here, sure. There are friends everywhere, and new people won't always be included. New people need to work at being part of any group, whether in real life or on an internet forum.
How did I reinforce what you seem to already think is true? Because I don't see any cliques here, that means I'm wrong because you do? Perhaps you are just looking at things the way you want to see them and not as they really are. That's not an insult or meant to be offensive. Every person does this at one point or another.
Yes, what I meant was that I expected a forum called "A Lonely Life" would be devoid of the same kinds of mistreatment of people that led us to be here in the first place. You are right, of course ... it is no different here than in real life. It took me a while to realize this irony.
As for where the cliques are, as I mentioned earlier, I cannot be more specific without starting an online World War III. For that reason, I will take the fifth amendment on this one. Don't mistake me, I don't hold grudges against anyone here, but I am only human - I do notice exclusion by specific people. They are allowed to be human, too, of course ... which is a large part of why I don't think anything needs to be changed.
As I mentioned in my response to BeyondShy, I notice posts receiving largely disproportionate amounts of attention. And, contrary to what you described, it's not just a matter of new people being left out. That is as specific as I want to be about the problem.
To be honest, you sounded kind of angry in your previous post. You also didn't like the fact that I cut out a part of your quote. I did that so as to focus the discussion on one sentence, but I assure you that I read your whole response. So, your (perceived) anger made it sound like you were defending the people who participate in said exclusion. That is the kind of thing I have experienced since childhood - "invalidation", in BPD parlance. It seemed like you were invalidating me without considering my perception of reality, and pushing me deeper into the hole of isolation ... that's what reinforced the feeling of exclusion. That pissed me off.
The bottom line seems to be that BeyondShy and I see cliques and you don't.
You're not wrong, no one is. And, ... again, nothing needs to be changed, perhaps just brought out into the light and noticed